


I'm definitely (not) gay!

by Jazzii



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bad Jokes, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Bell will freak out cuz hes gay as well, Chatting & Messaging, Coming Out, F/F, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Lexa needs some time to know shes gay, Loss of Virginity, Online Dating, Sass Queen Clarke, nerds everywhere, virgin lexa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-07 12:37:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 64,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7715170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jazzii/pseuds/Jazzii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So Lexa got bad luck with trying to date boys. Anya and Lincoln forced her to chat with a girl which happens to be sass queen Clarke. </p><p>Or the guide to turn poor innocent Lexa gay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I had this fic idea for a different fandome. But I think this will fit perfectly *___*  
> I just love Clexa to much.. Q_Q  
> Still way to much feels.

“Arrrgghhh!!! This stupid-”

“Wow sis, chill your life commander. What the hell happened?” Anya sat down next to her foster sister Lexa.

“It would be way easier to ask what isn't wrong...” Lexa whispered looking away to avoid Anya’s eyes.

“Turned down again? Who was it now? Show me.” With that Lexa showed her her laptop.

 

**TheCommander[10:22PM]:** Hey, what's up?

**BigDick89[10:23PM]:** If I tell you, will you sit on it?

TheCommander left the chat room.

 

“Wow that's okay.” Anya started laughing but Lexa didn't find it funny at all. “That pickup line is so bad but funny as hell. So next!”

 

**TheCommander[11:07PM]** : Hey there, what's up?

**TongueMaster87[11:08PM]:** Not much. What about you?

**TheCommander[11:09PM]** : Nothing interesting. I'm really bored right now.

**TongueMaster87[11:09PM]:** Hmm I could tell you some jokes if you want.

**TheCommander[11:10PM]:** Sure thing.

**TongueMaster87[11:10PM]** : Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, it's too long.

**TheCommander[11:10PM]:** Huh? I got a lot of time to kill. So come on tell me.

**TongueMaster87[11:11PM]:** No that was the joke. My dick. Too long. Get it?

**TheCommander[11:12PM]:** Uhh funny. Wanna hear some joke as well?

**TongueMaster87[11:13PM]:** Shoot!

**TheCommander[11:13PM]:** Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it.

TongueMaster87 left the chat room.

 

Anya couldn’t hold back her laughter anymore. She nearly cried. Lexa, on the other hand was upset.

“Sorry, I mean I haven’t seen you this down since that Cos guy turned out to be a 50 year-old Costia. Way to get catfished sis. Told you something was off with that online relationship of yours,” said Anya honestly.

“Could we please not talk about that again? I get it. Maybe Titus is right. Love is weakness. Every time I like someone it turns into a disaster.” Lexa’s eyes welled up, clearly feeling down. She rested her head on her sister's shoulder. “Maybe I'm just bad at this whole dating thing. It's probably best for all of us if I just stay alone,” she added.

Anya put her arms around her sister. She’ll never be able to understand why someone would hurt her baby sister. To her, Lexa was so damn cute, even if she could be a bit bossy. Okay, let's be honest. Lexa can be very bossy. But someone has to when things don't work according to plan. Not to mention how gorgeous Lexa is. She has the most beautiful green eyes and long curvy brown hair. Her whole body is toned from head to toe. All in all top notch dating material. If Lexa didn’t happen to be her little sister she wouldn't think twice to date her herself. If Lexa would admit that she may or may not be a tiny bit gay.

“Well... I know you don't have a lot of luck with relationships, but I'm pretty sure that you’ll find the right person for you. No one should have to be alone.” Interrupted Lincoln who happened to be their foster brother. Both sisters frowned at his words.

“As much as I would love to punch you for that loving bullshit bro you might have a point. I mean if even my bitch boss Nia can find someone we should be able to as well.” Anya turned to Lexa, “At least you. Since your cute and all, you know?” 

“What? Nia’s awful. How could someone possibly want to spend time with her?” said Lexa and shot Anya an angry look at the word 'cute'.

“Dunno sis. That's why Lincoln may be right. At least try to find someone. Stop thinking about this 'Love is weakness' bullshit from grumpy Titus. He's just sad that no one can stand him.”

“So let's find you girls a special someone,” Lincoln told them happily.

“Bro you know that I have more than enough friends with benefits. If I want a relationship I’ll get one. Just worry about our little commander here,” said Anya while ruffling through Lexa’s hair.

“Do you even have a relationship yourself Linc?” Lexa wanted to know.

 

“No, but there is someone I like so let's do it.” Lincoln stood up to get Lexas Laptop.

“Online dating? Really? Again? Didn't you notice how well that’s worked so far?” Lexa nearly whined. She wasn't ready to talk with some guy again. They’re all the same anyway.

“Well yes but it’s not the same.” Lincoln grinned. Actually grinned. Never a good sign.

“Fuck Lincoln that's a fucking awesome idea. It's about time for that.” Anya grinned now as well.

“What are you two doing? Give me my Laptop back!” Lexa snatched her laptop back only to see that they already made her a new account on a new dating website. What Lexa didn't expect was that it was a dating site for gays. Gays. Lexa. Gay. No way. “What? Why did you do that? I'm not gay!” Lexa became angry.

“Just because you won't admit it doesn't mean you're not. Girls can be so much fun Lex. And they are definitely better kissers as well.” Anya interrupted Lexa’s outburst.

“Wait, what?” both Lincoln and Lexa turned to Anya. They clearly never heard of Anya with women before.

“What? Don't be so uptight. It was fun. You should try it” Anya answered calmly.

“Well, I didn't expect that but never mind. See Lexa. Nothing bad. I mean you do sports... have abs... you are the perfect lesbian. The women will love you!”

“Are you two serious? I'm not-” a little sound from the laptop stopped Lexa.

“See the first woman wants to write with you. Let's go, Anya.” Lincoln and Anya stood up. “And Lexa. Write back! Try it. If every single man turned out to be an idiot try the other way. We just want you to be happy.”

“But I'm just not gay. It wouldn't be fair to give some girls hope.”

“Seriously? The way you look at girls butts and boobs doesn't mean anything?” asked Anya.

“Maybe I'm just jealous?”

“You’re full of shit Lex. Go write with that girl. Maybe the day will come and you’ll finally get what a huge lesbian you are.” With that Lincoln and Anya left Lexas room to go out. Both of them didn't live at home anymore, so Lexa spent most of her time alone. Her foster parents Indra and Gustus were usually away for business. Not that Lexa minded. She was never the most social person. As a foster kid, she never had a lot of friends. The only people who stuck with her all the time are Lincoln and Anya. They are her rock, her everything. So the least she could do is trust them. What could go wrong with chatting a bit? Maybe she would find a new friend in the girl. Someone to waste some time with.

**TheCommander[10:10PM]:** Hey :D

**PrincessCupcake[10:11PM]:** Hi yourself :)

**TheCommander[10:11PM]:** How are you?

**PrincessCupcake[10:11PM]:** Fine, just bored to death. You?

**TheCommander[10:12PM]** : I'm fine I guess. What are you doing?

**PrincessCupcake[10:12PM]:** You guess? Nothing much. That's why I'm so bored.

**TheCommander[10:13PM]:** My brother and sister get on my nerves. That's why. Oh yeah... Could have guessed. Sorry I'm not used to doing this.

**PrincessCupcake[10:13PM]:** Why do they? No problem. What do you mean? Chatting?

**TheCommander[10:13PM]:** They kinda forced me to do this. You know chatting with other girls...

**PrincessCupcake[10:13PM]:** But why? I'm sure you chatted with girls before.

**TheCommander[10:14PM]:** Because I suck at dating boys. As a matter of fact. So they forced me to try girls.

**TheCommander[10:14PM]** : Of course I did. But not like this. You know. Like wanting to flirt with one.

**PrincessCupcake[10:15 PM]:** Ohh... So I'm your experiment. Or your 'Let's get this over with and never bother me again with this shit' chat.

**TheCommander[10:15PM]:** WHAT?? NO!!

**PrincessCupcake[10:15PM]:** You deeply hurt my feelings.

**TheCommander[10:15PM]:** I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that!

**PrincessCupcake[10:16PM]:** Chill Commander. I'm only teasing. I don't have much experience with girls either. So no worries. The reason I'm here is because I'm bored and don't want to be bothered by fucking jerks.

**TheCommander[10:16PM]:** Oh.

**PrincessCupcake[10:16PM]:** Oh?

**TheCommander[10:17PM]:** So... all of this is to have fun?

**PrincessCupcake[10:18PM]:** Doesn't seem like it’s more to you either. I just don't have time for a real relationship, you know. And since it's easier to talk to girls I just do that. But if you ask if I only play with the girls, I don’t. I'll stop before it gets too serious. Breaking someone's heart isn't what I want to do.

**TheCommander[10:19PM]** : Hmm.. fair enough I guess. So you have bad experience with boys. Nice to know that I'm not the only one.

**PrincessCupcake[10:19PM]** : You could say that. I can't go anywhere without at least one guy doing some stupid pick up line or dick jokes. Disgusting.

**TheCommander[10:20PM]:** …

**PrincessCupcake[10:20PM]:** What?

**TheCommander[10:20 PM]:** I would be happy if at least one tries to get me...

**PrincessCupcake[10:21PM]:** Oh.

**TheCommander[10:21PM]:** Yeah oh.

**PrincessCupcake[10:21PM]:** Sorry if I found a sore point.

**TheCommander[10:21PM]:** No it's alright. I'm already used to it.

**PrincessCupcake[10:22PM]:** If it makes you happy, being popular isn't fun at all. I mean nearly everyone wants you but just so they can say 'I fucked her I'm soooo cool'. I’d rather not have any relationship at all then with guys who’ll only date me to impress their friends,

**TheCommander[10:23PM]:** I guess you're right. Sounds like a sore point for both of us. Wanna change topics?

**PrincessCupcake[10:23PM]** : Yeah... I'm more for fun than being sad.

**TheCommander[10:24PM]:** Okay... So tell me about your stupid pick-up lines or dick jokes. 

**PrincessCupcake[10:24PM]:** Really? You like them?

**TheCommander[10:25 PM]:** Of course I do!

**PrincessCupcake[10:25 PM]:** You are such a boy.

**TheCommander[10:25PM]:** …

**PrincessCupcake[10:26PM]:** Sore point again?

**TheCommander[10:26 PM]:** Kinda... yeah...

**PrincessCupcake[10:26PM]:** Don't worry. I like boyish girls the most  <3

**TheCommander[10:26PM]:** What was it about the 'not serious flirting?'

**PrincessCupcake[10:27PM]:** Why? Did I make you blush? Aww you're so sweet.  <3 <3

**TheCommander[10:27PM]:** Fuck you! -.-

**PrincessCupcake[10:28PM]:** Can't help it. Nobody else is going to. :P

**TheCommander[10:28PM]:** WILL YOU STOP?!?!

**PrincessCupcake[10:28PM]:** Aww aren't we a little shy? So cute.

**TheCommander[10:29PM]:** I'm not cute!

**PrincessCupcake[10:29PM]:** I'm sure you are

**TheCommander[10:30 PM]:** Am not!

**PrincessCupcake[10:30PM]:** You are

**TheCommander[10:30PM]:** NO!

**PrincessCupcake[10:30PM]:** YOU TOTALLY ARE! See, I can use caps lock as well. My sweet little cutie  <3

**TheCommander[10:31PM]:** Will you shut up. Youuu.. You... Probably bad  tasting Cupcake!

**PrincessCupcake[10:31PM]:** Wow, aren't we a creative little cutie?

**PrincessCupcake[10:32PM]:** And just for the record. I'm sure I taste amazing.

**TheCommander[10:32PM]:** Can't help it! I mean who calls themselves “Cupcake'??

**TheCommander[10:33PM]:** What do you mean? I'm not a cannibal. So no worries about eating you.

**PrincessCupcake[10:33PM]:** I didn't mean my flesh. Even if I guess that biting is quite arousing.

**TheCommander[10:34PM]:** What are you talking about?

**PrincessCupcake[10:34PM]:** Well let's change 'eat' into 'lick' and see if you can follow me now.

….

**PrincessCupcake[10:37PM]:** Hey? Still there?

**TheCommander[10:37 PM]:** Yeah.

**PrincessCupcake[10:37PM]:** Did I crush your world? Poor little cutie  <3

**TheCommander[10:37PM]** : …

**PrincessCupcake[10:38PM]:** You know this is the first time I’ve wished I was next to the person I was chatting with.

**TheCommander[10:38PM]:** Why?

**PrincessCupcake[10:39PM]:** Just to see your bright red face.

**TheCommander[10:39PM]:** FUCK YOU!

**PrincessCupcake[10:40PM]:** I thought we already established I would later.

**TheCommander[10:40 PM]:** YOU!..urgh.. okay... I can play that as well!

**PrincessCupcake[10:41PM]:** Play what?

 

**TheCommander[10:41PM]:** Being a tease just like you!

**PrincessCupcake[10:42PM]:** Oh? You can? We'll see.

**TheCommander[10:42PM]:** Yeah, I can.

**PrincessCupcake[10:43PM]:** Hmm... how about some jokes for now. I don't want to make your head explode from thoughts of me  <3

**TheCommander[10:43PM]:** Are you really that full of yourself or?

**PrincessCupcake[10:44PM]:** Actually I'm not. But teasing you is soooo much fun. Sorry cutie.

**TheCommander[10:44PM]:** Will you please stop calling me that?

 

**PrincessCupcake[10:44PM]:** Nope

**TheCommander[10:45PM]** : … Okay then I'll call you...

**PrincessCupcake[10:45PM]:** Yes?

**TheCommander[10:47 PM]:** … I don't know! You're the devil!

**PrincessCupcake[10:47PM]:** Creative again? So cute.

**TheCommander[10:47PM]:** -.-

**PrincessCupcake[10:48PM]:** Oh come on. You know I don't mean it in a bad way.

**TheCommander[10:48PM]:** Hmm...

**PrincessCupcake[10:49PM]:** But it's true you are cute. I have no idea why boys don’t want you.

**TheCommander[10:49PM]:** Well... they never find me 'cute'.

**PrincessCupcake[10:50PM]:** Then they don't know you. You really are cute. Innocent and cute.

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** I'm not innocent –.-'.

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]:** You are. At least your head is if your body isn't anymore.

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** Oh jokes! Right I wanted jokes. I’ll start! Q: What did the letter O say to Q?

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]:** I don't know?

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** Dude, your dick is hanging out.

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]** : That's gross.

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** Oh come on that's funny!

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]:** Nope it's not.

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** Then gimme a funny joke.

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]:** Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? 

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** No idea.

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]:** Because the 'p' is silent.

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** Nerd.

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]:** Hey! That was way funnier than your joke!

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** Sure sure nerdy.

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]:** Pff, no wonder you can't get a boyfriend or girlfriend.

**TheCommander[10:51PM]** : What do you mean?

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]:** You lack smoothness.

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** And you lack vitamin 'me'

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]:** Wow good one. Give me more.

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** Mario is red. Sonic is blue. Press start to join and be my player 2.

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** See! I'm smooth!

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]:** Awwwww told you you're cute!

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** Smooth! Not cute!

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]:** That's fucking sweet!

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** Just for my favorite nerd

**PrincessCupcake[10:51 PM]:** Ohh I'm already your favourite?

**TheCommander[10:51PM]** : ..I... I mean...

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]:** Yes?

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** I just don't know any nerd except you. That line was supposed to be a smooth answer. Doesn't work. Again.

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]:** You're so adorable!

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** Will you please stop?

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]** : Why? Does your head need a 'red' break again?

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** ...

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]** : Okay, okay. So next one from me.

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** Shoot!

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]:** I like Legos, you like Legos, why don't we build a relationship?

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** xD You can't even get more nerdy do you?

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]:** Oh come on. That's hilarious!!

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** Naahhh~

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]:** Then tell me a better one.

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** There are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently, none of them have ever been in your arms.

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]:** Okay, you won.

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** YES!! See I'm smooth! Deal with it.

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]:** The price of the cutest being worldwide.

**TheCommander[10:51PM]:** Oh come on -.-!

**PrincessCupcake[10:51PM]:** You know you are seriously cute. I mean I write with a lot of people here but nobody was quite like you.

 

… PrincessCupcake is typing a message

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta-Read by monique1397


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More stupid lines for ya :D  
> Anya being the best sis every and you know  
> Enjoy <3

“Awwww. My cute little Lexa’s all red,” said Anya while holding her smartphone clearly taking a picture.

“What the hell Anya? What are you doing here?” Lexa didn't even notice Anya was in her room again after leaving an hour ago. But all anger about the picture was forgotten when Lexa saw what the stranger wrote her.

 **PrincessCupcake[10:52PM]:** You're like 200% pure fluff.

Lexa just stared at her laptop. _'pure fluff? I'm no such thing. Never!'_ she thought. She was never known as someone fluffy or even nice. She was more like a cold hard silent rock to everyone who didn't know her. The only people who knew the real Lexa would be her parents and her siblings.

“You? Pure fluff? Uhh I already like this girl. Gimme that thing.” Anya took Lexa’s laptop away from her.

“Hey! Give it back,” Lexa shouted, but sadly couldn't reach her laptop.

 **TheCommander[10:53PM]:** Hey hottie. Whatzup? I'm fluffy’s sis. So just to be clear. Hurt her and I will find and kill you.

 **PrincessCupcake[10:54PM]:** Protective much? No worries though. So you're the one who told her to try flirting with girls?

 **TheCommander[10:54PM]:** Yeah plus our brother.

 **PrincessCupcake[10:55PM]:** Good job so far. She's really fun to talk to. Boys are just dumb to hurt this pure heart. But sadly she still claims not to be gay.

 **TheCommander[10:55PM]:** Believe me. She's fucking gay but doesn't know it yet.

 **PrincessCupcake[10:55PM]:** How so?

 **TheCommander[10:56PM]:** The way she sdnjsdsadl sdklsdk sansdjsadnsasaok

 

“Stop flirting with her and give it back!” Lexa nearly tackled her sister to the ground, but finally got her laptop back.

“I didn't flirt for me. I'm just trying to get you a fucking girlfriend to finally bang. It's about time you get laid!” Anya answered trying to get up.

“I don't need sex at least twice a day like you! I feel perfectly fine with the way things are. Thank you very much.”

“That's cuz you don't know what you're missing!”

 

 **PrincessCupcake[10:56PM]:** Oh? Did the not so 'gay' girl get her laptop back?

 **TheCommander[11:02PM]:** ...

 **PrincessCupcake[11:02PM]:** I know, I know. Your not. A girl can still dream :P

 **TheCommander[11:03PM]:** Let me quickly get rid of my sister okay? Be right back

 **PrincessCupcake[11:03PM]:** Sure, good luck with that

 

“Would you mind?” Lexa pointed at the door.

“Nahhh, I got more than I wanted. I’ll leave you lovebirds alone then. Don't do something I wouldn't.” Anya left Lexa’s home again. _'Not like I’d even do half the things you would do_ ' Lexa thought.

 

 **TheCommander[11:10PM]:** Well I'm back for my dreamer girl

 **PrincessCupcake[11:11PM]:** Well you wanted to get rid of your sister and I would want to get rid of the 'er'

 **TheCommander[11:11PM]:** I'm not sure I follow

 **PrincessCupcake[11:12PM]:** “My dream **er** girl” minus the **er**. Able to follow now?

 **TheCommander[11:12PM]:** You're something else

 **PrincessCupcake[11:13PM]:** That's what most people say

 **TheCommander[11:13PM]:** You really are able to flirt non-stop. I’ll give you that

 **PrincessCupcake[11:14PM]:** Well, it seems like you're able to hold your own very well.

 **TheCommander[11:14PM]:** Maybe writing is a lot easier than talking

 **PrincessCupcake[11:14PM]:** So you're not much of a talker?

 **TheCommander[11:15PM]:** I'm afraid not

 **PrincessCupcake[11:15PM]:** Nothing wrong with being the mysterious silent type you know. That's quite hot

 **TheCommander[11:15PM]:** If you would see me you would think differently

 **PrincessCupcake[11:16PM]:** I'm not sure about that. Your heart is what makes you beautiful. Even if you don't think about yourself that way, I'm sure there are people who love you

 **TheCommander[11:16PM]:** You don't know me

 **PrincessCupcake[11:17PM]:** Not yet

 **TheCommander[11:18PM]:** So you want to get to know me?

 **PrincessCupcake[11:18PM]:** Sure, why not? You're fun to write with and there’s a lot more to you then you want to admit

 **TheCommander[11:19PM]:** You don't know that

 **PrincessCupcake[11:19PM]:** We'll see about that, won't we? No hard feelings though. We can just continue senseless flirting with stupid lines. Nothing to worry about

 **TheCommander[11:20PM]** : I would like that

 **PrincessCupcake[11:20PM]:** Good  <3 But I should really go to bed now. Need to wake up early.

 **TheCommander[11:21PM]:** Goodnight then cupcake

 **PrincessCupcake[11:21PM]:** Wow, you sure miss me already

 **TheCommander[11:21PM]:** Of course I do. You're my dream girl. Remember?

 **PrincessCupcake[11:22PM]:** Then show me some love, will you?

 **TheCommander[11:22PM]:** I'm sorry honey. I hope you have a lots of sweet dreams filled with me  <3

 **PrincessCupcake[11:23PM]:** Guess I prefer the normal goodnight then. Sleep tight commander

 **TheCommander[11:23PM]:** Night Cupcake

 

 _'My dream girl huh?'_ Lexa thought. She’s never thought about being with a girl before. As confusing as it was, she knew dating hasn’t worked out so far. _'A little flirting experience couldn’t hurt anyway'._  With that Lexa went to bed, trying to not think about the flirty stranger.

Sleep didn't come as easy as she hoped. Giving up, she opened her laptop which still had the dating website open. _'PrincessCupcake... She really is something else'_ Lexa was lost in her thoughts still staring at their chat. _'Maybe I’ll find more about her on her profile?'_

 

Lexa opened the stranger’s profile. Sadly there was barely anything. No picture, no age, nothing. Just the sentence 'Life should be about more than just surviving'.

 

Lexa was always content with just existing. Her parents left on her 6th birthday. She went to school one day and never saw them again. After a few days of being alone and hungry she asked for help.  Lexa was put in the system until she found a home with her foster siblings and parents 4 years ago.

 

Her life’s been so much better since then. It was nice having someone who cared about you. Even then it was hard for Lexa to show emotions and trust people, but she never gave up hope. Hope to find the one person who’ll love her even more than her real parents could. Prove that she is able to be loved like her new family always told her.

 

_'Maybe she's right. Life should be about more than just surviving'._

But would she be able to fall in love with a girl? Would she be able to see a girl in that special way? Lexa wasn't sure. She’s never thought about it. It wasn’t that she found men incredibly attractive in general, but more like she thought she had to. Wasn't is weird for a girl to like girls? Wasn't it abnormal? She never had a problem with Anya kissing girls so far. Or even do more. Whatever Anya does with them. Not like Lexa wanted to think of her sister naked with other people in general. Like ever.

 

Lexa didn’t have a problem with samesex relationships, but she noticed other people did. And that's exactly what Lexa didn’t want. She didn't want to be abnormal. She wanted to be someone people could be proud of, not disgusted by.

 

Since her parents just left her she was convinced it was because they didn't like who Lexa was. Like she wasn't enough. So why bother to be even more abnormal than she already was? Why couldn't she be a normal girl who people loved and not  feared?

The more she thought about it the more she was confused about her thoughts altogether.

 

Why can't she stop thinking that way? Why does she still blame herself for what her parents did to her? Why can't she just get over it already? Does it really matter how many friends you have? How many people loves you? Shouldn't it be more about the few people who really care about you? Wasn't it what the stranger already told her as well? That it isn't that nice to be popular? People only care about the part the person plays in the society and not the person itself? Lexa doesn't have a lot of people who care about her or she cares about. But the few she has would do anything for her. Should that not be good enough?

Why does she care about other opinions so much? Isn't it her right to decide what's wrong or right for her?

Why was this still so hard to just be herself?

The sound of a message disturbed her thoughts.

 

 **PrincessCupcake[04:03PM]:** My dream girl can’t sleep?

Lexa giggled at this. Of course she comes back online when Lexa has to question herself and can't stop thinking about her new found someone.

 **TheCommander[04:03AM]:** Sadly no. You?

 **PrincessCupcake[04:04AM]:** Well, I tried. No such luck

 **TheCommander[04:04AM]:** Why is that?

 **PrincessCupcake[04:05AM]:** Just can't, but it's not that bad considering you’re online.

 **TheCommander[04:05AM]:** I understand. Well I'm glad to be at your service.

 **PrincessCupcake[04:06AM]:** Do you though?

 **TheCommander[04:07AM]:** Do I what?

 **PrincessCupcake[04:07AM]:** Understand me?

 **TheCommander[04:08AM]** : I guess there aren't many reason for not being able to sleep much most of the time. At least since you said you're single and all. So no one to distract you from sleeping

 **PrincessCupcake[04:09AM]:** Just because I'm not in a relationship it doesn't mean I’m not able to have lots of sex

 **TheCommander[04:10AM]:** Oh.. of course sorry. You're right

Something about that information didn’t feel right to Lexa. She didn’t want to think about her stranger with other people. _‘Her stranger? HER?? The hell Lexa. You don’t even know her’_

 **PrincessCupcake[04:10AM]:** No worries though. I’ve had no one to warm my bed for a long time

 _‘Why am I relieved at that? I shouldn’t be, should I?’_ Lexa didn’t know what to think anymore. Something felt strange.

 **TheCommander[04:12AM]:** It's okay. Not like it's my business anyway

 **PrincessCupcake[04:12AM]** : So it's safe to say you're not a one-night-stand kind of person then.

 **TheCommander[04:13AM]:** Not really no.

 _‘More like a goddamn virgin unable to get even near the opportunity to have sex at all’_ Lexa thought. Most people respect her. Not like she knew why. That’s just the way it was. They followed her naturally but didn’t dare come near her. Let alone be intimate.

 **PrincessCupcake[04:13AM]:** Good to know

 **TheCommander[04:13AM]:** ?

 **PrincessCupcake[04:13AM]:** You're a challenge. That's good

 **TheCommander[04:14AM]:** If you say so

 **PrincessCupcake[04:14AM]:** Hey you dropped something.

 **TheCommander[04:15AM]** : What?

 **PrincessCupcake[04:15AM]** : My jaw

 **TheCommander[04:16AM]** : Really? Now? It's the middle of the night and you’re telling jokes?

 **PrincessCupcake[04:16AM]:** So what? I'm trying to change the topic here. You really wanna talk about sex with a girl while you claim to not be gay at all? Who's getting their hopes up now?

 **TheCommander[04:17AM]** : Naaaa as if you would ever be interested in me

 **PrincessCupcake[04:17AM]:** Why not?

 **TheCommander[04:18AM]:** You could have everyone. Better don't mind me. I'm not worth it

 **PrincessCupcake[04:19AM]:** On a scale of 1 to 10, you're a 9 and I'm the 1 you need. Together we’d be perfect :D See I totally want you

 **TheCommander[04:20AM]:** Haha, funny

 **PrincessCupcake[04:20AM]** : Let's be serious though. What happened to make you think that?

 **TheCommander[04:21AM]:** Not important

 **PrincessCupcake[04:21AM]:** Well it is but it's fine if you don't want to talk about it. But you're worth it. Just because you haven’t found the right person yet, doesn't mean you never will

 **TheCommander[04:22AM]:** If you say so

 **PrincessCupcake[04:22AM]:** You know that you can talk to me, right? I mean it's not like we know each other personally and probably never will. Maybe it's easier to talk to me than someone who knows you. I wouldn't judge

 **TheCommander[04:23AM]:** Maybe. Can I ask you something about you first? Something personal?

 **PrincessCupcake[04:23AM]:** Shoot

 **TheCommander[04:24AM]:** How did you find out you liked girls?

 **PrincessCupcake[04:24AM]:** Ufff, I was dunno 13? 14? We played truth or dare... Then a girl a few years older kissed me. That’s all it took

 **TheCommander[04:25AM]:** So you just kissed her and then said: Hey that wasn't so bad, girls are good as well? Just like that?

 **PrincessCupcake[04:25AM]:** Yeah why not?

 **TheCommander[04:26AM]:** I mean you're a girl.. with, you know, a girl. Isn't that kind of strange at the beginning?

 **PrincessCupcake[04:26AM]:** Don't act like it's something abnormal. Who cares who you love. That's totally up to you

 **TheCommander[04:27AM]:** But most people don't see it that way

 **PrincessCupcake[04:27AM]:** Like you? Do you kiss a boy and then are like: OMG I like boys. How cool is that!! That would be strange or? Wouldn't it? Cuz people think that's normal, don't they? So why bother when it's a girl you like. You like who you like. It's nobody else's business.

 **TheCommander[04:28AM]:** You're really strong to think that way

 **PrincessCupcake[04:28AM]:** You should as well. My parents, well more like my dad, always told be to have an open mind for everything. Especially love. It's what makes people stronger than anything

 **TheCommander[04:30AM]:** You're lucky to have such parents. Until a few years ago everyone always told me that love is weakness. That the moment you open up to someone they have great power over you. It's just a matter of time until they’ll use it to destroy you.

 **PrincessCupcake[04:32AM]:** They 'told' you? So they aren't there anymore? And who told you that? Anyway, that's bullshit. I mean it's not like breakups don't hurt or that your loved ones can't hurt you. Sure they can, but it's so worth it. Just the feeling of loving someone. Caring for someone. Being loved... Everything. It's worth it

 **TheCommander[04:33AM]** : I grew up in the system. My parents left me when I was 6. No big deal though. I found a great family who told me that love is something worth fighting for. That it's not my fault that everyone leaves me. And well... It's just hard to get it after all that time. I had a few caretakers who.. let's say... blamed me for everything. Told me I'm not good enough. That I'm not worth love... That my parents left me because I'm not what they wanted me to be... I mean it's okay. My new family loves me for who I am and I have great siblings. They just want the best for me. Even when it means to turn me gay apparently.

 **PrincessCupcake[04:36AM]:** Holy shit... I mean. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. But it's better now isn't it? I mean I would do anything to have siblings like you since I'm an only child.

 **TheCommander[04:37AM]** : It's fine. I normally don't tell people because I don't like being their charity case, you know? I don't need pity. I'm over it and totally happy with how things turned out.

 **PrincessCupcake[04:38AM]:** And you're telling me I'm a strong person. **TheCommander[04:39AM]:** I'm not strong. I had no choice

 **PrincessCupcake[04:39AM]:** True but you still try to find love . I mean after all that crap you're still searching for someone. I'm not sure I could do that

 **TheCommander[04:40AM]:** I don't know. I guess I just want to prove to myself that I'm worth someone's love you know?

 **PrincessCupcake[04:41AM]:** As I told you. You ARE strong. Thanks for telling me all that. I really appreciate it

 **TheCommander[04:41AM]:** Thanks for offering. I don't know why but it feels good talking to you. Or talk so open about it at all.

 **PrincessCupcake[04:42AM]:** You're welcome. I really enjoy talking to you too

 **TheCommander[04:43AM]:** So want to tell me something? Maybe I can help you as well.

 **PrincessCupcake[04:43AM]:** Would only be fair, wouldn't it?

 **TheCommander[04:44AM]:** You don't have to. It's not like you forced me to tell you anything

 **PrincessCupcake[04:44AM]:** No it's okay. When do you have to get up? Or are you free today?

 **TheCommander[04:45AM]** : I'm all free. You?

 **PrincessCupcake[04:46AM]:** I swapped with a friend of mine. She needs the extra hours so no worries. I'm just doing the job for some extra money.

 **TheCommander[04:47AM]:** Job? Care to tell me how old you are?

 **PrincessCupcake[04:47AM]:** I'm 20, pre-med  and working part-time in a small coffee shop. You?

 **TheCommander[04:48AM]** : I'm 18. Pre-law.

 **PrincessCupcake[04:48AM]:** Uhh young and fresh, sweet and so damn smart

 **TheCommander[04:49AM]:** Young yes. Sweet, no such thing. And probably as smart as you.

 **PrincessCupcake[04:49AM]:** You should listen to the older ones

 **TheCommander[04:50AM]:** Alright granny

 **PrincessCupcake[04:50AM]:** Shut up!

 **TheCommander[04:51AM]:** So what did you want to tell me? I mean swapping your shift just to talk to me more? I'm impressed. You must really like me

 **PrincessCupcake[04:51AM]:** I do

 **TheCommander[04:52AM]:** Good. That's really good

 _‘Why the hell do I feel that strange. What is that?’_ Lexa felt her body turn hot again.

 **PrincessCupcake[04:52AM]:** Let me guess? You're red again? I mean it as innocent as possible. But yeah. I enjoy talking to you very much

 **TheCommander[04:53AM]:** Thank you. I like it as well

 **PrincessCupcake[04:53AM]:** So polite

 **TheCommander[04:54AM]:** Do you always change the subject because you don't want to tell me or what?

 **PrincessCupcake[04:54AM]:** No... Okay. I don’t like talking about me that much. My Ex-boyfriend cheated on me. Well more like I cheated with him. I mean.. He had a girlfriend for years and I didn't know... Well she was away for some kind of workshop. She’s a genius. Like really fucking smart. Anyway. She came back early to surprise ‘her’ boyfriend. Let’s say she surprised all of us. To make a long story short we both broke up with him and now live together. Since then I don’t really want to date or something like that.

 **TheCommander[04:57AM]:** You and that girl? Friends or..?

_‘Please just be friends. Wait? The hell Lexa’_

**PrincessCupcake[04:58AM]:** Just friends. Best friends actually. She’s like a sister I never had. I mean she’s fucking hot but.. nahhh. That’s gross… I don’t wanna think about that

 **TheCommander[04:58AM]:** Ah okay

 **PrincessCupcake[04:59AM]:** Why do you ask? Jealous?

 **TheCommander[05:00AM]:** You wish. Why would I be. It’s still not my business.

 **PrincessCupcake[05:01AM]:** Sadly

 **TheCommander[05:02AM]:** What are you trying to say?

 **PrincessCupcake[05:02AM]:** Use your cute smart little head

 **TheCommander[05:03AM]:** I’m not cute!

 **PrincessCupcake[05:03AM]:** You know, you remind me of my pinky toe.

 **TheCommander[05:03AM]:** What the fuck? Oh no. What kind of pickup-line should that be?

 **PrincessCupcake[05:04AM]:** You’re small, cute and I’m probably going to bang you on my coffee table later today.

 **TheCommander[05:04AM]:** Haha

 **PrincessCupcake[05:05AM]:** Come on!! That was funny. And kinda cute.

 **TheCommander[05:05AM]:** So you flirt the whole night with strangers instead of sleeping to get over a bad breakup?

 **PrincessCupcake[05:06AM]:** Nope. It wasn’t that bad for me. I wasn’t really in love with him. Sure it hurts when someone cheats but it was worse for Raven. I mean they were together for quite some time. I hardly knew him at all. The reason I can’t sleep is because Raven has a surgery tomorrow. A really important one.

 **TheCommander[05:08AM]:** Ah okay. I hope everything goes well then

 **PrincessCupcake[05:08AM]:** I hope so

 **TheCommander[05:09AM]:** Tell her best wishes then

 **PrincessCupcake[05:09AM]:** Sure. I’ll just go to her and tell her that some stranger is keeping her fingers crossed for her.

 **TheCommander[05:10AM]:** Lexa

 **PrincessCupcake[05:10AM]:** ? Excuse you?

 **TheCommander[05:11AM]:** That’s my name, duh. Then you can wish her good luck from me without that stranger thing

 **PrincessCupcake[05:12AM]:** Lexa? It’s a short form or? I like it. Easy to scream at night. Has a nice ring to it. LLEEXXAAAHHHHHH~

 **TheCommander[05:13AM]** : Of course you think about that right away. Again.

 **PrincessCupcake[05:13AM]:** Oh common. Stop being such a virgin. I’m only making fun of you

 _‘Well I’m sorry I am one. What’s the big deal anywa_ y’ Lexa thought

 **TheCommander[05:14AM]:** Sure sure.

 **PrincessCupcake[05:14AM]:** Clarke

 **TheCommander[05:15AM]:** ?? Is that your name?

 **PrincessCupcake[05:15AM]:** Yeah. And yes I’m a girl. A girl with the name Clarke.

 **TheCommander[05:16AM]:** Wow slow down. I like it

 **PrincessCupcake[05:16AM]:** You better start practicing then

 **TheCommander[05:17AM]:** What?

 **PrincessCupcake[05:17AM]:** Screaming it for me for when we finally meet, my love

 **TheCommander[05:18AM]:** Could it be that you kinda need to get laid?

 **PrincessCupcake[05:18AM]** : Me? Never~

 **TheCommander[05:19AM]:** Whatever you say Clarke~

 

It’s been a long time  since Lexa’s enjoyed talking to someone that much. Maybe she really should give this a try.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your comments!!!  
> I will reply to all of them. The next chapte is already half finished :D  
> Sorry got ill and yeah... wasn't able to write as much as I wanted.  
> You don't have to wait for the next chaps that long anymore.  
> I promise <3
> 
> Beta-Read by monique1397


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleep is well earned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just give you this chapter really quickly.  
> I'm sorry you needed to wait almost a week for it. 
> 
> Little_Miss_Silver volunteered as a beta reader for my fic *_____*  
> Sadly she didn't read this beta since you already waited for so long.  
> I hope you still like it. 
> 
> Thanks GonnaBGona for the amazing idea. I hope you like what I made with it <3

**PrincessCupcake[05:20AM]:** Maybe just a little bit

 **TheCommander[05:20AM]:** Just a little?

 **PrincessCupcake[05:21AM]:** Maybe a bit more

 **TheCommander[05:21AM]:** What ever helps you sleep at night

 **PrincessCupcake[05:21AM]** : You would

 **TheCommander[05:22AM]** : ?  
  
**PrincessCupcake[05:22AM]** : After you pleasured me all night long

 **TheCommander[05:23AM]:** You’re really full of yourself

 **PrincessCupcake[05:23AM]:** Well I would prefer to be full of you

 **TheCommander[05:24AM]:** It’s early in the morning and you still can’t stop talking about it

 **PrincessCupcake[05:24AM]:** You just make it hard to think about something else, my love

 **TheCommander[05:24AM]** : …

 **PrincessCupcake[05:25AM]:** Okay, okay. I stop okay? I just try not to think about Raven’s surgery

 **TheCommander[05:26AM]:** In that case you're allowed to tease me as much as you want

 **PrincessCupcake[05:26AM]:** I wouldn’t say that out loud

 **TheCommander[05:27AM]:** Why is that? Am I not supposed to make my dream girl happy?

 **PrincessCupcake[05:28AM]:** How do I even deserve such a loving girlfriend

 **TheCommander[05:28AM]:** Oh? Already your girlfriend? And there I thought you have to at least meet and date someone first. You really move fast honey

 **PrincessCupcake[05:29AM]:** Why should I waste time then I know that your everything I need

 **TheCommander[05:29AM]:** Believe me I’m not

 **PrincessCupcake[05:30AM]:** You’re a huge dork and nerd. Yes you are perfect for me

 **TheCommander[05:30AM]:** You’re easy to please, huh?  
  
**PrincessCupcake[05:31AM]:** Depends

 **TheCommander[05:31AM]** : On what?

 **PrincessCupcake[05:32AM]:** Which kind of “pleasing” you mean

 **TheCommander[05:32AM]** : …

 **PrincessCupcake[05:33AM]:** Sorry. I try, I really do

 **TheCommander[05:33AM]:** I can see that

 **PrincessCupcake[05:34AM]:** Q_Q

 **TheCommander[05:34AM]:** You’re forgiven

 **PrincessCupcake[05:35AM]:** You’re the best

 **TheCommander[05:36AM]** : I always am

 **PrincessCupcake[05:36AM]:** Oh are you? At E V E R Y T H I N G?

 **TheCommander[05:37AM]:** Clarke…  
  
**PrincessCupcake[05:37AM]:** You started it!!!

 **TheCommander[05:38AM]:** And I’m stopping it!

_PrincessCupcake is typing a massage..._

 

“What the-” yelled Lexa. Her laptop screen suddenly turned black 5 minutes ago. Of course she tried to restart it a few time without success. Lexa was never really into technology and was always happy then things just work. And if they don’t… well let’s say Lexa just get ride of things that do not work. She even throw her last smartphone out of the window just because it didn’t wanted to update.  
“Why doesn’t it just work?” she was already frustrated. Giving up she took her smartphone to write Clarke only to find it with 2% charge left. “Are you kidding me?”. Maybe she should consider charging her phone after playing Pokemon Go outside for hours. Being a nerd sure is hard for your smartphone. Knowing that she will not even be able to open the browser before the smartphone will die she stands up to get the telephone. Maybe someone will be able to help her getting her laptop back to life. “Let’s hope this hot-line is free of charge or Indra will kill me next month”.  
  
  
“Thank you for calling the ArkComputerSystems service hot-line. We are proud to announce that we have been rated one of the top 10 customer service oriented companies in the tri-state area.  
Please hold and one of our amazing support agents will answer your call as soon as possible. ”

After a few seconds the voicemail continued.   
  
“ All of our agents are currently assisting other callers. If you would like to bypass the waiting queue, you can press 1 to leave a message or press 2 to have an agent call you back. Otherwise,  press 3 and  please stay on the line.  Y our call will be answered in the order it was received.”

“Greeeaaatttttt. Let’s see how amazing fast they can be.” Lexa said pressing 3 and stayed on the line. A few minutes later the voicemail continued. 

“You have exceeded the waiting limit for this queue. Please hang up and try your call again.”  
“What? Really???” not wasting a second Lexa did as requested.  
  
“Thank you for calling the ArkComputerSystems serv-”  
Lexa just pressed 3.   
“Stop talking and better speed up this time.” Hearing a new kind of sound gave her some hope.  
  


“Good morning, my name is Monty from ArkComputerSystems. What can I do for you?” 

“Morning, my laptop just turned off and doesn’t work anymore.”  
  
“Did you restart your laptop?”  
  
“How should I else know that it doesn’t work anymore?”

“Did you unplugged your charge cable?”  
  
“I’m not dump”

“Did you unplugged it from the plug socket or just the laptop” Monty tried to stay formal and calm. 

“Wait” Lexa stand up to search for her plug socket.

“...” Monty waited.

“Oh” was all Lexa managed to say.

“Yes? Does it work now?”

“I don’t think so”

“You just think or know it?” he asked.

“Well the cable is black” Lexa explained.

“You do know that you lose your guarantee if you use cheap imitated cables.”

“I’m aware, yes. But I used the original.”

“Our cables are white” Monty stated.

“That’s the point. It isn’t anymore. At least the plug isn’t.” she only hear laughing at the other end of the call.

“Sorry” Monty tried to get a hold on himself “I mean how did that happen?”

“How should I know? I just know that my screen suddenly turned black.” 

“Okay, thing is your laptop definitely needs to be repaired. Your power-supply is probably broken thanks to that cable. If not more. That will take some time.” Monty explained.

“Great.” Lexa tried to stay calm even if she really wanted to punch something now.

“I’m sorry that I can’t help you. I hope that, what ever you did, wasn’t that important.” he apologized.  
  
“It was, but seems like there’s nothing you can do now. Thanks anyway. Bye.” she tried to hold back her anger.  
  
As much as it sucked, she does know that Monty didn’t done anything wrong. Ending the call without waiting for Montys response she searched for the charging cable of her smartphone. Sadly it was in the same plug socket as her laptop cable.  
“Please...” Lexa prayed that it’s not burned like the one for her laptop. Unlucky as she was she unplugged it with the same burning as her laptop cable. Turns out there had to be some kind of short-circuit before, that happens to burn all plugs. Hoping that only the plug socket itself was damaged she searched for the source. At least the other end seemed to be okay which means the plug socket itself was the problem. Knowing that she doesn’t get killed by Indra for destroying her home she gets up to changed into some new cloths.

 

F inally looking like a decent human again she got out to find the next coffee  shop with free charging stations for her smartphone. 

It was already half past 6AM then she was at the coffee shop. Getting her smartphone started and ordering some coffee since she didn’t really slept at all, she found her next problem. What she didn’t think through was that she didn’t even know her login name nor her password.  
  
“You’re okay?” asked the coffee shop employee noticing Lexas strange behavior.

Lexa only nodded already thinking about ways to figure out her login details.

“Are you sure? You look a little lost. That would at least explain your coffee order. No idea how you will be able to drink that. There’s so much sugar in it that you could almost eat it.” she placed the coffee in front of Lexa.

“It is tasting just fine. Thank you” Lexa glared at her. It was not the first time she got teased by her coffee order.

“You drink that regularly?” disbelieve is written all over her face.

Lexa only nodded again but now finally looking up.

“Anyway, I’m Octavia. How are you?” she said while taking one of Lexas hands to shake it.

“Lexa. Good, you?” she didn't know what to think of Octavia. She’s not used to have someone so open minded around her. More important someone who just tough her so freely.  
  
“You’re not much of a talker aren’t you? What’s up with that? Playing the dark mysterious bad-ass girl while drinking coffee with 90% sugar?” she smirked.

“No, nothing and I’m not playing” Lexa answered short as always.

“It shows.” Octavia said looking a little sad. “Sorry if I made you uncomfortable. You’re just the only costumer and it’s way to early for me. If I don’t talk I will be asleep in seconds.”

“You didn’t. I’m just not used to.” replied Lexa honestly.

Before Octavia could answer a new costumer arrived.  


“Lincoln! There you are! You nearly had me worried.” Octavia hugged Lincoln who instantly smiled at her. It’s the first time that Lexa saw her brother smiling at someone aside their family. _‘So much for he doesn’t have a girlfriend. You little liar.’_ Lexa thought.  
  
“Sorry, work again.” Lincoln hugged her back and only now noticed someone staring at them. “Lexa? What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be on your way to school?”  
“Hey Linc” she answered still looking at them “I don’t have school until 10.”  
  
“Oh, okay. Drinking sugar again? You know maybe you should give up drinking coffee at all if you don’t like the taste. That isn’t healthy.” Lincoln said trying to play cool.

“What ever you say. Care to explain?” she pointed at both of them.  
  
“That’s Octavia”

“I know that”

“She- I- We… We’re friends”  
  
“Just friends?” asking now both woman at the same time.  
  
“NO! I mean.. I.. don’t know? I mean I never asked...” Lincoln tried to explain clearly not really successfully.  
  
“Linc, I swear if you tell me you two timing us I will kick your ass.” Octavia threatened him.  
  
“What? I would never do that Octavia. Never!”

“And what is-” Octavia pointed at Lexa but instantly stopped when said woman raised her hand to stop them talking.  
  
“To cut this short. I’m his little sister. And no, he would never do that. I promise” Lexa said nearly smiled at the two. They were so obvious in love with each other but seemed to miss to talk about their kind of relationship. _‘Seems to be a family problem. Talking really isn’t our strength’_ she thought.  
  
“You have a sister?” Octavia asked. “You don’t really look alike.”  
  
“That’s because I’m his foster sister. We’re not related by blood” Lexa explained calmly.  
  
“Oh.” Octavia look sad now realizing how little she knows about him.  
  
“I’m sorry. I promise I will tell you everything from now on. Please, don’t be sad.” Lincoln reached for her hand and softly brushed his thumb against her skin.  
  
“It’s okay. Maybe a real date would help in that matter. Like more then just meeting here while I’m working.” Octavia suggest.  
  
“I would love to” Lincoln smiled.

  
  
“Not like I want to disturb your bonding session but… Could you give me my login details?” Lexa asked while interruption them. Making both of them blush hard.  
  
“Your login details?” Lincoln asked.

“Yes from you know what.”

“I’m not sure I can follow. Why should I know your details?”  
  
“You made that account and then the plug socket thought it would be funny to burn anything in it and-…. Not important. So care to tell me?” Lexa stop herself from smattering even more unimportant information's.

“What? Anya wasn’t lying? Wow sis, you’re really working fast! Congratulations!” he said proudly.  
  
“Can’t you just give me the details please?” Lexa replied with a soft shade of red on her cheeks. Octavia eyed them confused.

“Lexa is kind of struggling with finding a boyfriend. So I made Lexa an account on dating website for lesbians. I mean it can’t hurt to try even if Lexa claimed not to be gay at all. Seems like she already proofed herself wrong.” Lincoln explained for Octavia.  
  
“Linc!! Can’t you keep quite? Asking you for the details is embarrassing enough!” Lexa shouted with cheeks bright red.

“No worries Lexa. Both my best friends are bi-sexual. Nothing wrong with it. Even I thought about trying it out but then I saw Lincolns abs and yeah...” now it was Lincolns and Octavias turn to blush.  
Lexa on her side just groaned and gave Lincoln her smartphone to enter her login details. After finishing it he gave her her phone back.  
  
“Thanks. Now continue with what ever you’re normally doing.” with that Lexa turned around and focused on her smartphone.

  
**PrincessCupcake[05:39AM]** : Sorry if it was to much  
**PrincessCupcake[05:45AM]:** Are you mad?  
**PrincessCupcake[05:49AM]:** Common… I really stop. I promise!  
**PrincessCupcake[05:55AM]:** Just saw you turned offline… If you read this I’m sorry.  
**PrincessCupcake[06:23AM]:** Are you really that mad?  
**PrincessCupcake[06:30AM]:** Okay… maybe I overthinking it and you’re just asleep…  
**PrincessCupcake[06:34AM]:** Well in hope that you just fall asleep I wish you sweet dreams  
**PrincessCupcake[06:40AM]:** I gonna try sleep as well now  
**PrincessCupcake[06:41AM]:** Good night Lexa

Thinking that Clarke thought that Lexa was mad at her made Lexa sad. Sure Lexa wasn’t very comfortable talking about sex, but that’s just because of her lack of experience. Nothing more. Seeing that Clarke was indeed offline and hopefully sleeping safe and sound now she started drinking her now cold coffee.  


**TheCommander[08:22AM]:** Hey Clarke  
**TheCommander[08:25AM]:** Sorry, that I just went offline. I wasn’t angry or anything, but my laptop just gave up and died right before my eyes. Actually my plug socked burned all my cables including the charging cable for both my smartphone and laptop… Since it was plugged into my laptop it killed it instantly and my smartphone had only 2% charging left… So I had to find somewhere to charge it to be able to write you… And then I noticed that my brother made my account and not me… Means I didn’t had my login details and all… Anyway. I hope you sleep well and have a nice day. Lexa.

 

Standing up Lexa took her things and was on the way outside only to be stopped by her brother.  
“Your already going?” he asked. Lexa nodded.  
  
“I thought your class starts at 10? You don’t have to leave us.”

“I’m not leaving because of you. I just really need to sleep.”

“It’s half past 8. I thought your class starts at 10?”

“I’m not going” with that Lexa left the coffee shop leaving Lincoln behind beyond stunned.

  
  
“Are you okay Lincoln?” Octavia asked worried.  
  
“I uh” he said still unable to form a whole sentence.

“What’s wrong? Skipping school once or twice doesn’t kill you, you know”

“That’s not the problem”

“What is then?”

“Lexa never ever skipped school before. Really never. She used to go even with really high fever.”

“Guess she really found a nice girl then”  
  
“Probably not as nice as I have” Lincoln said while shyly smiling.

“Just nice huh? Believe me you will not think that way for long” Octavia replied and then kissed Lincoln for the first time who immediately returned the kiss softly.  
“I hope so” he whispered and kissed her again.

 

–

 

Finally home again Lexa went straight for her room. She knows that she should not skip school, but she doesn’t care now. All she wants now is to sleep, get that laptop repaired and buy a new charging cable. But both of that can wait until she finally had some sleep.  
She let herself fall on her beloved bed, closing her eyes and slowly drifting to sleep… until her phone started to ring.  
  
Blindly finding her phone and picking up she managed a threatening “What?”  
  
“Lexa? We… or I… I think if got a problem… A really big one…She... I…“ Anya sobbed into the phone.  
  
“Come over. I’m at home.” Lexa replied softly. She never heard her sister cry which means it must be important. Anya didn’t even answered and just ended the call. Knowing that Anya is probably already on the way to her she thought about giving up sleep again. “A few minutes can’t hurt”. With that Lexa closed her eyes and finally find the so needed sleep.

 

 _‘What a day...’_  


 

 

 

 

  
  


  


 

 

  


  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the sweet comments!!  
> You have no idea how happy they make me!  
> You're all amazing people and I love you so much!!
> 
> When I started this fic I thought that no one will read it because of my bad english since I'm german and all.  
> Still you all show me how much you're loving this fic and this makes me SOOOO damn happy. 
> 
> If you have any ideas for this fic feel free to tell me <3
> 
> You're all awesome!  
> Love you all <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for a bit Ranya

It didn’t take long for Anya to arrive at Lexas home.

_‘Next time I should just stay up. Sleeping only 15 minutes is worst then not sleeping at all’_ told Lexa herself. Anya was already inside her room but just stared emotionless at her younger sister. Not like that would be something new to Lexa, except that this only happens when Lexa did something wrong. Like only buying healthy food, without getting Anya her favorite chips. Yes, Anya really does love her junk food. Never mess with it.   
  
Knowing that Anya wouldn’t be the who start talking Lexa got up to take Anya’s hand and walk them both back towards Lexa’s bed. Finally sitting again she gave Anya’s hand a soft squeeze to encourage her.   
“I-” started Anya not able to meet Lexas eyes yet. Lexa knows better then to interrupt her sister. She never saw her like that. So completely defeated. What ever happened it must be something really bad.  
“I-, she-, it’s” it was clear that Anya tried hard to tell her but just couldn’t.  
“So this is about a her?” maybe a little push could help, Lexa thought.   
Anya only nodded.  
“Is she your friend?” her sister shook her head. “Your girlfriend?” Anya looked up and meet Lexas eyes for a second before she looked at the ground again and slowly shook her head again.   
  
“You care for her.” That wasn’t a question. Simply a statement which was with a simple nod confirmed.  
“Did-” Lexa wasn’t sure if she should asked that question, but know that she had to. “Did something happen to her?”  
“I don’t know” answered Anya quietly.

“Okay… So this ‘problem’ you have is that a girl you care for-” Lexa waited to let Anya end this question. She definitely didn’t sleep enough for this.   
“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW, OKAY?!? The problem is that I just FUCKING DON’T KNOW!” the sudden outburst shocked Lexa. “We, arghhh. I just… We slept together.” continued Anya more calmly noticing Lexas reaction.  
“No offense, but since when is that a problem to you?” wanted Lexa to know.   
“A couple of times” added Anya. _‘Okay that’s new’_ Lexa thought. Since she knows Anya she never saw someone more then once with her. Anya used to say that people just bore her to death and that’s the reason why she never let them get attached to her. She may not be the most sentimental person, but would never intentionally break someones heart.   
“So you’re kind of seeing her? Dating her?”   
“Like I would ever date anyone. I’m not you little sis.”

“So you want to be just friends with her?” Lexa asked unsure.   
“I don’t know. Not like it would make any difference now that she just seem to be disappeared.” her sister was clearly down. _‘Just friends, sure sister’_  
“What do you mean disappear?”  
“She used to come every Monday and Friday to the same bar I’m used to go. I have no idea why but she doesn’t anymore. For 2 weeks now. Maybe I did something wrong… I just don’t know. I don’t even know why it bothers me. It should not, but it does. So much. How dare she just leave without a word?!?” Anya was suddenly angry.   
“If it bothers you so go to her home? Visit her? Ask others where to find her?”  
“I don’t know where she lives and the worst part is that I don’t even know her name to ask for her.”  
“What do you mean, you don’t even know her name?” Lexa was shocked.  
“Oh common, did you ever call someone with the wrong name while having sex with them?”  
Lexa only gave her sister an annoying look instead of an answer.  
“Ah sorry. Sometimes I forget that you are, you know, a virgin. What ever. Let me tell you that girls definitely don’t like it. As long as I don’t ask, they don’t expect me to sream their names. It makes things a lot easier.” explained Anya.

  
“You’re an ass. You do know that, right? Still. Why don’t you know where she lives? Did you had sex in the next bush or what?”  
“No, she was with me” Anya said in a low voice. “You know. At my place.”  
“YOU TOOK HER HOME WITH YOU?!?” now Lexa was terrified. Anya never would take someone home with her. Never. Whoever this girl must be, she is sure as hell special for Anya.   
“It was nearer and yeah… I don’t know why I did that, okay? If I would know why I break my own rules because for her, I wouldn’t sit here right now.” Anya stood up “Look at me Lex. I cry other a girl I didn’t see in 2 weeks, which I don’t even know the name of. I’m so pathetic right now. What the hell is wrong with me. I don’t do feelings. I just don’t! I’m the fucking bad ass, emotionless bitch! That’s who I always was and ever wanted to be!” continued she now facing the still sitting Lexa.   
“Come here” Lexa reached out to Anya. Without protest Anya accepted the invitation and hugged her sister tightly. “We both seriously need some sleep.” with that Lexa took her sister with her and laid down onto the bed. Anya grasped the blanket and covered them both with it. “We can deal with it later. Now sleep.”

\--

The next time they woke up it was already late in the afternoon. Anya somehow managed to fall out of the bed, but is still sound asleep. Getting up Lexa decided to make them coffee and something to eat.

“I will never stay up that late ever again” Lexa told herself.   
“I wouldn’t be so sure, sis. Wait till you acknowledge the amazing world of party's and sex. Come to think of it. How’s your girl?”  
Without answering Lexa grasped her smartphone to check for new massages. “She’s not my girl” she added without looking up. ‘Still no massage…’   
“Your sad little puppy look tells me she didn’t wrote you back yet, right?” Anya asked smirking.

“No” Lexa looked at Anya “But we still need to talk about your girl.”  
“Could we please not?”  
“Do you know what I just can’t understand? I mean you didn’t see her for two weeks. Not that I can’t understand that this must suck but… It’s not that long, you know? Maybe she’s just on a vacation? You would never worry about something without a reason. So why are you so scared?”  
“When… When we first slept together I was pretty drunk actually. I mean I noticed her before but something about her was… I don’t know. I just didn’t wanted to be near her. And then I drunk to much.. and she as well… It just happened. Thing is I didn’t noticed something strange about her. I only wanted her. Fast and-”  
“No need for details. Please don’t.” interrupted Lexa already bright red.  
“Don’t be such a prude! Never mind. She left before I woke up. For whatever reason I was upset. But the next time we had sex I wasn’t so drunk. So I took my time and looked at her.” Anya needed to pause.  
“Hey it’s okay. You don’t have to talk about if you don’t want me to know.”  
“No it’s okay. I know I’m not much of a talker but sometimes even I admit that I have to talk about some things. She has scares. A lot of them. I have no idea what happened to her but she never talked about it. That girl sure as hell even hate it whenever I look at her legs or hips. One time then I gone down on her-”  
“ANYA!” Lexa was now even redder.

“One time when I done ‘things’ I kissed some scares on her hips and she begun to cry. Like it would hurt her. She just hold me after it. Didn’t talk, nothing. Do you have any idea how lost I was. I had no idea what to do. So I just hugged her. Hold her tight the whole night and morning. We didn’t talk… didn’t do anything… just holding each other and it felt so damn right. So good.”  
“You do know that you have a huge crush on that girl, do you?”  
“Do you want me to tell you what scared me or not? Then shut up and let me talk.”

Lexa rolled her eyes and then nodded _‘This girl clearly don’t want to see the truth’._   
“The last time we had sex something was wrong. She didn’t smile. No stupid sarcastic jokes. Nothing. She wasn’t gentle as normal. It was like she forced herself to do that. I tried to stop her because it just didn’t felt right. She got angry and got up. When I tried to talk to her she pushed me away. Then she left my home. I followed… She hobbled, could barely walk. I wanted to stop her, but she just didn’t let me. Telling me she don’t need my pity. I mean- Me? Pity someone? Never! And then some guy with ugly curly black hair drove by and picked her up. Since then shes lost… I’m scared that she is serious hurt. So damn scared. But I’m even more scared of me. What the hell did that girl do to me?!?” it was clear that Anya was really hurt herself by that girls actions.

“I’m so sorry Anya. I wish I could help you more but… if she didn't want your help now you can’t change that. As bad as it is.. you have to wait until she is ready.”  
“But-”  
“No buts! I know waiting is not one of your strengths.”  
Anya just glared at her little sister knowing that there was no use of fighting this fact over.   
“Anyway. Do you have my charging cable with you?”  
“Why would I?”  
“Well, mine is gone and you were the last one who use it. So where is it?”  
“Uhmm...”  
“Anya….”  
“I don’t know? Maybe at home? I have nothing with me now.”  
“This is the third cable you stole from me!”  
“Fourth actually.”  
“What? When-”  
“Not important. Let’s go to my home. You wanted to borrow some movies anyway.”  
“What movies?”  
“Some really ones! Can’t be that my sister only knows Disney movies! You finally need to watch some action! Horror movies! Something!”  
“I like watching documentations just as much”  
“Why do I have to get such a nerd as a sister...”  
“Hey!”  
“Never mind let’s go and get your stupid cable. Can’t let you phone turn off before your sweetheart could write you back, can’t we?”  
“She’s not-”  
Anya didn’t let her finish her sentence and was already on her way out.

\--

They had a 20 minute way by car. Anya continued talking about all different kind of movies before they finally arrived her home. It was a small apartment with 2 rooms. Nothing fancy but enough for Anya. It’s not like she would be home a lot anyway. She used to travel a lot and if not she would spend the most time outside. It was a family tradition to stay a few days in the woods and trying to survive without any technology. Lexa remembers the first time they did that as a family including her. Never was Lexa so happy to be part of this family then this exact moment. Of course it was a totally new experience for her. New language, hunting skills… everything, but it was all so worth it for Lexa.

Arriving Anya’s home she noticed her sister getting instantly tense. Looking ahead she saw a boy, maybe a bit older with black curly hair leaning against Anya’s front door.   
“Anya, right?” asked the boy her sister.

“Who are you?” fired her sister back. She clearly knows this boy and not in a good way.

“Why do I even do this. Maybe this was a bad idea after all.” the said boy stand up slowly clearly pissed at Anya’s reaction.

“Wait.” stopped him Anya. “Why are you here?”

“Raven-” Anya looked at him confused. “Great, of course you don’t even know her name.” he start moving already regretting coming here.  
“Wait! Please!” Anya nearly shouted surprising the boy and Lexa. “I-, is she okay?” asked Anya this time with fear.

“So you do care?” wanted the boy to know.

“Look, I’m sorry okay? The last time I saw her you picked her up and never heard of her again. She was in a lot of pain and-”

“Wait, are you jealous? Is that the reason you treat me like a threat?” interrupted her the boy in disbelieve now laughing.

“WHAT? NO! I just thought that you two...” disagreed Anya loudly.

“Raven is like a sister for me. Nothing more. And even if, she clearly likes you. A lot. I wouldn’t be here if not.”

“You’re lying.”

“What?”

“She can’t like me.”

“Do you sleep multiple times with your one night stands?”

“No.”

“Do you do relationships?”

“No.”

“Same for Raven.”

“I-”

“Don’t bother. I’m already sick of hearing Raven trying to tell me she has no feelings for you. No need to repeat the same with you.”

“But-”

“Did you ever slept with someone else since you meet Raven 2 months ago?”

Both the boy and Lexa eyed Anya curious since she didn’t answered right away.

“2 and a half months… and no. I did not.” answered Anya honest looking away to hide her now red cheeks.   
  
“So you two are dating for more then 2 months without even talking about anything personal.” the boy frowned. “At least Raven knows your name.”

“We’re-”

“Not dating. Sure. What ever. I don’t care how this worked for you two so far okay? Just let me tell you why I’m here and then you can just ignore all of this and do your thing or you grow up and face your feelings.” the boy turned towards Lexa uneasy. “No offense but this is kind of private. Raven will already kill me for letting Anya know-”

“She’s my sister. No matter what, she will know what happened anyway.”

“It’s okay Anya. I leave you two alone for a while.” interrupted Lexa both of them. With that Lexa turned towards Anya’s door and left them both.

 

“Okay. When I picked up Raven you wanted to stop her, don’t you? Raven told me later that you noticed that she was in pain and wanted to help her. I mean you did the right thing, but Raven hates it when people treat her different because of her leg.”

“I noticed that, but I still don’t understand why she didn’t stop.”

“She did it because she knew that she would not see you again for weeks. Maybe months. It was her way to say goodbye. She thought that sleeping with you for the last time would help her forget you. Raven gets angry if things don’t turn out the way she planed them.”

“When you say goodbye you don’t mean-” Anya asked scared.

“NO! She will not die nor will she leave. Nothing of that sort. She just need surgery for her leg. Means she is unable to move for a couple of weeks. Since you only slept together and nothing more for months, she thought that there would be no reason for you to have something to do with her, beside sleeping with each other. You’re neither friends nor dating. So why should you care? The moment you stopped her and showed her that you do care, she got confused. Sadly, confused Raven gets angry as well.”

“Raven gets angry basically at everything, don’t she?”

“Like you’re so different.” at that Anya had to laugh.

“Still, doesn't explain what part you play. She clearly didn’t wanted me to care. So what do you want? Should I go with you to the hospital after her surgery, to hold her hand while she slowly wakes up and tell her how much I love her?”

“Make sure to cry and ask her to merry you.”

“Funny.”

“Seriously. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. If Raven isn’t worth your time then it’s better to leave things like they are now. But… If you like Raven even a little bit I’m sure she would be happy to see you.”

“What will you gain for doing all this?”

“My death, probably. But more important a hopefully happy Raven.” laughs the boy.

“You’re sure you don’t have some kind of feelings for her?”

“I love her, but just like a sister. Nothing more. I promise.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Let’s do it.”

“What?”

“Project Raven. When is her surgery?”

“Actually right now. Should be finished in one hour.”

“What??? Your ‘sister’ has a surgery and you go out to talk to me??”

“I stayed with her until they started. Our other friends are still with her. Sadly they don’t seem to like you. Well… they don’t know you and only got told that you slept together. Nothing more. Of course they don’t think it’s important for you to be there. Raven isn’t someone who talks about her feelings. I only got her to talk because I picked her up. The rest don’t know anything so far. Let’s say… the other aren’t thrilled that I pick you up now.”

“How could you be so sure that I would come with you?”

“The look then Raven left you for me…”

“I was worried! She was hurt.”

“Cut the crap, Anya. You were jealous. Worried as well yeah, but mostly jealous.”

“...”

“Can we go now? I’m Bellamy by the way.”

Anya nodded and follow Bellamy to his car. As much as she don’t like him, he was still right. She needs to see for herself that Raven is okay. If her sister is willing to try something new, maybe she should give this a chance as well. _‘What did I get myself into?’_

  
\--

 

**Anya:** Hey little one. Sorry but I’m going with the boy…

**Lexa:** Guessed so much already. Good luck with your girl. Try to be nice.

**Anya:** I’ll try. Bye Lex.

**Lexa:** Bye.

 

_‘Great...’_ Lexa was already searching for her cables but without much luck until now. It didn’t surprised her that Anya would leave without her. The moment she saw the boy, she remembered Anya telling her about a boy with similar looking picking up her girl. Of course she was happy for her sister. Seeing Anya so down was not something Lexa likes to see. _‘I hope things work out now’._   


“Ahhh finally!” said Lexa to herself holding her beloved cable in her hand. Checking her phone which had 20% charging left she checked for new massages as well.   


** PrincessCupcake[03: 4 1 ** **PM]** : I’m not sure if I should laugh or find it  totally adorable what you went through, just to write me. 

**TheCommander[03:46PM]:** I went through all that trouble to be there for you.

** PrincessCupcake[03: 5 0 PM]:  ** Such a caring girlfriend <3

**TheCommander[03:51PM]:** Everything for you my lady.

** PrincessCupcake[03: 5 0 PM]:  ** And so charming~

**TheCommander[03:51PM]:** I’m just treating you like the princess you are

** PrincessCupcake[03: 5 0 PM]:  ** Aww my prince charming

**TheCommander[03:51PM]** : Prince? Pfff I’m a fucking queen!

** PrincessCupcake[03: 5 0 PM]:  ** I’m sorry commander. I didn’t mean to offend you.

**TheCommander[03:51PM]:** Yes you did. But you also meant well.

** PrincessCupcake[03: 5 0 PM]:  ** You’re such a dork. 

**TheCommander[03:51PM]:** Just like you my dear.

** PrincessCupcake[03: 5 0 PM]:  ** I’m sorry I didn’t answer sooner by the way. I have  really bad internet connection  in the hospital. Only got out to get some coffee for us. 

**TheCommander[03:51PM]** : No problem. You already told me your roommate has surgery today. No need to worry about me.

** PrincessCupcake[03: 5 0 ** **PM]** :  Well writing with you would have help me a lot. Sitting there and not  being  able to do anything… My other best friend O’ is writing non stop with her kind of boyfriend to get her mind off the surgery. Her brother is picking up someone for Raven… And I’m sitting there  alone  with nothing to do  and no one to talk to. 

**TheCommander[03:51PM]:** I’m sure there are a lot of people who would love to talk to you.

** PrincessCupcake[03: 5 0 ** **PM]** :  But no one I want to talk to now. Except you. 

**TheCommander[03:51PM]:** You’re so sweet.

** PrincessCupcake[03: 5 0 PM]:  ** I’m serious. I don’t know what makes it so much easier to talk to you.  It just is. Plus you make me laugh and let me stop thinking about Raven and what all could go wrong. 

**TheCommander[03:51PM]:** I’m sure Raven will be just fine. But I’m happy that I was able to help you.

** PrincessCupcake[03: 5 0 PM]:  ** You still do. 

**TheCommander[03:51PM]** : I try my best.

** PrincessCupcake[03: 5 0 PM]:  ** I don’t want to go back inside… 

**TheCommander[03:51PM]:** You don’t need to worry Clarke.

** PrincessCupcake[03: 5 0 PM]:  ** No, not because of that. I want to write with you more… I’m not sure I can stare at the door for another hour...

**TheCommander[03:51PM]:** How come O’ can write and not you?

** PrincessCupcake[03: 5 0 PM]:  ** Well  WhatsApp seems to work but this dating site just doesn’t want to load inside the hospital. 

**TheCommander[03:51PM]** : Ah okay. O’s waiting for her coffee or?

** PrincessCupcake[03: 5 0 PM]:  ** Actually, she already wrote me if I got lost or something

**TheCommander[03:51PM]:** Why?  
  
**PrincessCupcake[03:50PM]:** Well the coffee shop is right next door and I’m away for 20mins now.

**TheCommander[03:51PM]:** Oh I’m sorry if I hold you up.

** PrincessCupcake[03: 5 0 PM]:  ** What part of I want to write with you wasn’t clear?

**TheCommander[03:51PM]** : Still…

** PrincessCupcake[03: 5 0 ** **PM]:** Would you mind...

**TheCommander[03:51PM]** : Mind what?

** PrincessCupcake[03: 5 0 PM]:  ** I mean you don’t have to! I could totally understand that you don’t want that. I’m not mad if you don’t want to or anything...

**TheCommander[03:51PM]:** What’s wrong Clarke?

** PrincessCupcake[03: 5 0 PM]:  ** Would you mind giving me your phone number? Just to write a bit more? This site sucks for writing anyway… You know the adds everywhere… but you really don’t have to!

 

Lexa had to think about it. Should she do it? She never gave anyone her phone number despite her family and a few friends for school projects. But writing with Clarke is really a lot fun and writing without opening this site would be way easier… Plus Clarke seems to need her… Finally someone how really seem to need her and enjoyed her company.

**TheCommander[03:51PM]:** Ok.

** PrincessCupcake[03: 5 0 PM]:  ** Really??? You’re really sure? I don’t want to force you.

**TheCommander[03:51PM]:** No it’s really fine. Just let me look up my phone number.

** PrincessCupcake[03: 5 0 PM]:  ** You don’t know your own phone number? You really don’t give a lot of people your number, do you? Just write me. My Number is XXX/XXXXXXXX

**TheCommander[03:51PM]:** Will do, wait.

 

Lexa saved Clarkes number and opened WhatsApp. She searched for Clarke to open a new Chat with her.   
  
**Lexa:** Hey, Lexa here.   
  
**Clarke:** Hello there Raccoon girl.

**Lexa:** ?  
  
**Clarke:** Your profile picture.

**Lexa:** Ah, my sister did that. Some people think I remind them of one. For whatever reason.

**Clarke:** Aww Lexicoon  <3

**Lexa:** You did not just called me that!

**Clarke:** Ohhhh, I totally did  <3

**Lexa:** …

**Clarke:** Common. They are really cute. No need to be offended.

**Lexa:** If you would see me you would think different.

**Clarke:** Why?

**Lexa:** I’m not cute at all.

**Clarke:** No matter what will happen… I will always find you cute. My little cutie Lexicoon.

**Lexa:** I should really change that picture…

**Clarke:** NO! Don’t. It suits you  <3

**Lexa:** Then stop calling me that!

**Clarke:** Alright commander. I’ll go now and give O her much needed coffee. Be right back online.

**Lexa:** Ok

 

\--

 

“There you are. I almost thought someone kidnapped you. Now gimme that coffee.”

“You were only worried about your coffee, weren’t you?” Clarke asked her best friend.

“Mostly. But your important as well. I mean I still need someone to get me coffee neext time, don’t I?” Octavia grinned at Clarke happily drinking her coffee.

“Your so funny O.” Clarke took a sip of her own coffee. “So who’s the mysterious guy your writing with all the time?”

“Who said it’s a guy?”

“Since you highly claim to be heterosexual for years now.”  
  
“Well a lot of thing could have happened since then.”

“Spit it out O” Clarke got impatient.

“I’m telling you after you tell me why you go out of here just to write someone.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh common. The moment we were here you start cursing over the internet. Stared at your phone like your world would end if the site don’t finally load. You were so focused on your phone that you didn’t even noticed me staring at your screen I never thought that you, of all people, need a dating website to find someone.” Octavia told her honest. “I mean I’m really happy that you want to try after Finn, but is it so much harder to find a girl? Not that I ever tried to but I’m just worried that some jerk think it’s funny to catfish you…”

“I’m not really looking for someone special O. It’s just easier to talk to girls then men.”

“But someone found you.”

“It’s not like that. She isn’t even interested in girls anyway.”

“But you do like her? And what do you mean she doesn’t like girls? That was a dating site for lesbians.”

“I do but not like that and it’s not important. She made it pretty clear that she likes writing with me but isn’t like that.”  
  
“As I said. A lot can change~ I mean look at you Griffin. You’re hot as fuck.”

“I’m fine just the way things are now. Anyway. Your turn!”

“Ohhmm… His name is Lincoln and-”

“You mean the tall guy this killer abs and tattoos all over his body?”

“Yeah… that one. He comes nearly every morning after work...”

“Holy O. I know you had it in you, but that. Wow.”

“Yeah.. I really hope this will work you know. I really like him.” said Octavia blushing.

“I’m sure it will. Maybe you should answer him now. Your phone is ringing non stop.”

“Yours as well. Did someone gave a certain girl her number?”

“Maayybeee~”

“Go get your girl Griffin”

“She’s-”

“Not listening~”

 

Knowing that there was no reason to fight over something like that Clarke returned her attention to her phone.   
  
**Lexa:** Do you know any good movies? My sister claims that I have to finally watch some good movies. Something about action and horror.   
**Lexa:** Should I worry that my sister seem to have only horror movies?

 

_‘Movies, huh?’_ thought Clarke not sure if that’s Lexas way to get to know Clarke or if she actually has no knowledge of movies.

**Clarke:** What movies do you already know? Would make it way easier to find some you like.   
  
**Lexa:** Just tell me your favorite movies.   
  
**Clarke:** I’m pretty sure you know all of them already.

**Lexa:** We’ll see about that.   
  
**Clarke:** Hmm.. I have a lot of favorite movies but I’m more the series type. I’m practically married to Netflix.

**Lexa:** Netflix?

**Clarke:** That’s a joke, right? First you tell me you don’t know any movies now you don’t seem to know Netflix? Where do you live? On the moon?

**Lexa:** Haha you’re so funny. And no I’m not joking. I just never likes to watch TV and preferred books. That’s why my sister think I have to finally open up to the world of good movies.   
  
**Clarke:** You really should. But you did watch some movies, right? Netflix is a platform for movies and series. An absolutely must have!!

**Lexa:** Ah okay. I did watch movies, but Anya thinks that I should try more movies then Disney ones.   
  
**Clarke:** Nothing wrong with Disney movies! My favorite is the Lion King. Absolutely love it since ever. But watching a bit more shouldn’t hurt. What’s your favorite?

**Lexa:** Mulan.

**Clarke:** Of course it is commander. Why do I even ask.

**Lexa:** What do you mean?  
  
**Clarke:** Well as a commander you sure like this whole a woman saves the world from a war thing. Totally your thing.

**Lexa:** True. So what’s your favorite movie in general?

**Clarke:** Hmm.. let’s see. I love Pitch Perfect. Fat Amy is the best!

**Lexa:** What’s that about?  
  
**Clarke:** You never heard of it? You’re sure you living on earth?

**Lexa:** Yeah I do. I already told you that I’m not the most “social” person.   
  
**Clarke:** You really didn’t joke about that then. It’s a movie about A-Capella. Funny as hell with good music.

**Lexa:** Ah okay. I hope Anya has it at home. It actually scars me what my sister seems to watch. I mean.. a movie about mutated killer sheep's? What the hell?

**Clarke:** Oh you mean Black Sheep? That movie is so dump it’s funny as fuck.

**Lexa:** I’m not so sure about that. Seems pretty disgusting to me.   
  
**Clarke:** You will never see a sheep the way you did before. That’s for sure.   
  
**Lexa:** Probably not.

 

“I could swear that both of you claimed to be single just an hour ago. How come that you two staring at your phones like love stuck idiots?” asked Bellamy both girls now looking up from their phones.   
“First. You of all people have no right to call any of us an idiot. That title will for ever be yours alone. Second. We still are even if I’m not sure O will be for long.” answered Clarke eyeing the unknown girl next to Bellamy.   
“Hey!! Don’t jinx it Griffin!” yelled Octavia blushing and trying to avoid her brothers glare.   
“What. Does. That. Mean. Octavia?? Who’s that boy?” Bellamy surely never likes his sister having boyfriends. Her last boyfriend even broke up with Octavia after a long speech from Bellamy.

“Non of your business Bell. Who’s that chick? Ravens playgirl?” asked his sister.   
  
“I’m nobody’s playgirl.” interrupted the unknown girl the siblings and stared at the door in front of them. “Is she in there?”

“Yeah.” answered Clarke knowing that both Blake’s wouldn’t since they are busy staring angry at each other.

The girl didn’t asked more question and sit down next to Clarke not turning her eyes away from the door.   
“They said the surgery should be over in half an hour. There is still a possibility that it could take a bit longer, though.” added Clarke. Whoever that girl was, she surly isn’t just some random chick.

“Doesn’t matter how long. I’ll wait.” told her the girl confident still not thinking about looking away from the door.

“That isn’t over Octavia. I still want to know that guy. But I really need something to drink. Do you girl’s need anything?” both girls negated. “Anya?” but the girl just shook her head. “K, be right back”.   


With Bellamy gone both girls eyed Anya skeptically. Clarke because she doesn’t know that this girl means to Raven and Octavia because she wanted to know why that girl is even here. ‘Did Raven have a girlfriend? No. That can’t be. She would have told us, wouldn’t she?’ thought Clarke not sure how to feel about having this stranger here with them. That clearly must be what Octavia though as well. Apart from the fact that Clarke is just curios and Octavia seems to think about ways to kill Anya. Since Anya doesn’t seem willing to share that informations anyway she continued talking to Lexa.

 

**Lexa:** Still there?  
 **Lexa:** Is the surgery finished?   
**Lexa:** Is Raven okay?

  
_‘Antisocial huh? You clearly care way to much for others for being not social at all’_ told Clarke herself making it her own mission to proof Lexa that she isn’t as bad as she thought.   


**Clarke:** Sorry, no. Still half an hour to go. O’s brother Bellamy brought someone strange with him.   
  
**Lexa:** Someone strange?

**Clarke:** A girl nobody of us knows. Well, Bellamy seems to but we don’t. She doesn’t want to talk or cared about introducing herself. Nevertheless she really seems to care for Raven.   
  
**Lexa:** Who’s Bellamy?  
  
**Clarke:** O’s aka Octavia's big brother. Lovingly called black beauty by us cuz he has long curvy black hair.. and yeah.. he needs hours in the bathroom. That’s quite horrible. We still love him through.   
  
**Lexa:** Holy…

**Clarke:** What?  
  
 **Lexa:** Does that stranger has dark blond hair and looks kinda angry all the time?  
  
**Clarke:** Yeah? Do you know her? Her name’s Anya.

**Lexa:** That’s… actually my sister your talking about.

**Clarke:** WHAT????

**Lexa:** Yeah… she’s not that bad… and for the caring part. She does. A lot. That guy Bellamy talked to her an hour ago. Actually that girl Raven never told Anya about the surgery and just disappeared for weeks. But I didn’t told you that, if she asks. Just try not to be to hard to her. Showing emotions isn’t her strength.

**Clarke:** The fuck?

**Lexa:** Small world, I guess.   
  
**Clarke:** So that means your living near? Cool. We could meet and watch some movies together. If you want, that is. I will not force you to do anything.

**Lexa:** No, I… sure. We could do that sometimes.   


_‘Sometimes? Did I gone to far? Or to fast?’  
_ **Clarke:** Hey it’s okay if you don’t want to. But if Anya starts dating Raven we will meet sometimes anyway. Still doesn’t mean I will force you to.

**Lexa:** It would be good for Anya and hopefully for Raven if they do. And it’s okay Clarke. I’m just not used to.   
  
**Clarke:** No worries. We don’t have to meet alone. We could always meet up with your sister and Raven. You know what would be funny as fuck?

**Lexa:** I would like that. What?  
  
**Clarke:** If O’s soon to be boyfriend Lincoln would be your brother as well. Hahaha~

**Lexa:** Big guy, shaved head with a lot of tattoos?  
  
**Clarke:** You’re kidding me right??  
  
**Lexa:** Guess not.  
  
**Clarke:** You’re telling me that my best friends dating your siblings and I happen to get the not gay one that makes us both forever alone????

**Lexa:** We could always date someone else you know.   
  
**Clarke:** But it would be SOOOOOO cool to date like this. 3 best friends dating a whole family. Okay, the siblings. Still better love-story then twilight.

**Lexa:** The books are actually quite good. Never saw the movies though. Next thing you want us to buy a house together and play big happy family.

**Clarke:** YYESSS!!!

**Lexa:** No. Just no.  
  
**Clarke:** Why??? I could be the best totally platonic relationship you ever had!

**Lexa:** I bet you could.   
  
**Clarke:** That is if you’re not hot.   
  
**Lexa:** Highly doubt that.   
  
**Clarke:** Good thing I have your sister next to me to ask :D  
  
**Lexa:** Don’t you dare!

  
‘Hey Anya?” asked Clarke. Anya didn’t turn around but mumbled a small “hmm”.   
“Do you have a picture of your sister?” with that Anya finally turned around to look Clarke straight in the eyes. If Clarke wouldn’t know better she would be terrified by Anya’s glare but stayed strong. Never turn your back on your enemy's. Always fight and never give up.   
“What do you have to do with my sister. More important how do you even know her?” wanted Anya to know.

“Wow, wow. Slow down. If I remember correctly you and Lincoln made her talk to me. Not the other way around. Besides I already promised you not hurt her.” replied Clarke.

“You’re that cupcake girl?” asked Anya surprised to which Clarke only nodded.   
  
“Wait. Lincoln? Are you- Fuck Your Anya!! Your Lincoln and Lexas foster sister!! The fuck???” interrupted Octavia both of them clearly shocked by this new information.

“You know Lexa???” “What do you have to do with my siblings?” answered Clarke and Anya at the same time.   
“Wow. Slow down okay? I meet Lexa this morning. Apparently she had no charging cable or something like that. Dunno. She left after Lincoln come after his work and yeah.” explained Octavia.   
“You mean... You meet Lexa instead of me, because I switched my shift one single time with you, just to be able to write with said girl as long as we wanted to? Without going to bed early?” questioned Clarke Octavia.   
“Yep. Karma is a bitch, you know. Next time better don’t eat my pancakes! Else you would meet your girl already.” laughed Octavia.   
“Shut up and tell be about her!” ordered Clarke Octavia.   
“Hey!” yelled Anya at both of them. “That’s still my baby sister your talking about!”

“Doesn’t seem to be a baby to me. She scares the shit out of me. Not much of a talker and has horrible taste in coffee but still kind of hot.”

“Who’s hot?” asked Bellamy now back with something to drink.   
“Clarke’s girl crush.” replied O before Clarke could stop her.

“I don’t have a crush!! I don’t even know her!!” yelled Clarke what made all of them laugh, since she was already bright red.   
“We just found out that Clarke’s ‘not’ crush happens to be Anya’s little sister. Funny, right?” told him Octavia grinning from ear to ear.

“Don’t forget the part there your crush happens to be my brother. I swear if you hurt him-” kind of defended Anya Clarke.   
“Wait, you mean that girl from before?” wanted Bellamy to know to which Anya nodded. “Good luck with that one Clarke.”

“What do you mean?” asked Anya and Clarke together.   
“Well, she seems to be… tough… I wouldn’t want to get on her bad side. Kind of scary… and yeah… I guess she is really good at ordering people around and well…” tried Bellamy to explain without making Anya angry.   
  
“She’s gone through a lot of shit. I can’t blame her.” returned Clarke.   
  
“She told you?” Anya looked at her in disbelieve.

“Yeah? Is that a bad thing?” Clarke doesn’t know how to react.

“She never talked about that… Well not willingly.” told her Anya.

“I didn’t forced her to do that… Anyway I guess I just have to meet her myself.” decided Clarke.

  
  
**Lexa:** Clarke??  
**Lexa:** You did not!!  
 **Lexa:** Clarke I swear that unfair!  
 **Lexa:** CLARKE!

**Clarke:** Chill commander. Your sister didn’t wanted to tell me. Your safe. But Octavia finds you terrifying, but hot.

**Lexa:** I didn’t even do anything to her…

**Clarke:** Your look was enough for her. Her brother told me the same. Guess they just don’t know you. So I have to judge that for myself.  
  
**Lexa:** You’re sure you really want to? After what your friends already told you?  
  
**Clarke:** Non of them told me you’re a bad person. Just tough. I already told you I kind of like that.

**Lexa:** I hope you still think that way after meeting me.

**Clarke:** I’m very sure I will.

**Lexa:** How about we have cup of coffee sometimes? Or something like that.  
  
**Clarke:** I hope sometimes is sometime really soon.   


What Clarke didn’t noticed was that Anya and the Blake siblings had their own plans.  
“Clarke?” asked Anya.

“Yeah” replied Clarke still grinning like an idiot. “Wait, did you just made a picture? The fuck?!?” Clarke tried to get Anya’s phone. “What are you doing??” Octavia and Bellamy are holding Clarke back to help Anya. “HEY!!!”.  
  
–-

 

Lexa was happy that she got to write with Clarke more and even if she didn’t know if it’s good or bad that her friends already know her, she sure were happy to be able to meet Clarke sometimes in person. It was just so easy to talk to her and she seems to really care about her.

 

**Anya:** picture.jpg  
 **Anya:** Open it! It’s really important!!

 

Anya normally just send her stupid videos so she mostly don’t even bother to open up the videos of pictures Anya sends her anymore. Opening it anyway she saw a gorgeous blond girl grinning love stuck on her phone. She was wearing a blue tight sweatshirt which really didn’t cover her amazing curves at all. Lexa would kill for a body as hers since that girl on the photo was beyond beautiful.   


**Anya:** Still straight?  
  


Lexa didn’t replied but know that the blue check marks would blow her cover anyway, so Anya knows that she saw the picture.   
  
**Anya:** Not going to answer me? Wait. Let’s try this then.   
**Anya:** Picture2.jpg  


Without thinking Lexa opened the next picture seeing the same girl again, but now looking straight into the camera. She is still grinning and blushing with the most beautiful ocean blue eyes that Lexa ever saw. Lexa felt her heart beat faster and faster and her breath caught. _‘What the hell is that.’_ thought Lexa trying bring her heartbeat back to normal.

  
**Anya:** BTW. That’s Clarke. Good luck with staying straight.   


_‘Well, fuck me’_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this chap was a pain in the ass to write...   
> I really hope you like it anyway :D
> 
> Even if this seem to be a bit "fast" now i swear this will be slow burn!  
> <3
> 
> Next chapter is incoming  
> My girlfriend promised to write fanfiction tomorrow with me<3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranya <3

“What the fuck did you just do Anya!! O, Bell let me go you traitors!” Clarke yelled trying to free herself.   
“Not gonna happen princess.” Octavia seems to finally warm up with Anya. Clearly offending Clarke makes all of them more fun that it should. _‘At least O doesn't seem to mind Anya being here anymore.’_

“The fuck O! You’re supposed to defend me! Don’t turn your back on me with someone you don’t even know for half an hour!” Clarke was still trying to get Anya’s phone even then she knows that it was to late for what ever Anya done with the picture.   
“Doesn’t matter since she could be my future sister-in-law! I have to fight for my family Clarke.” said Octavia grinning at Anya. _‘Sure, get on her good side and betray your friend.’_ Clarke thought angry.   
“That’s the spirit” added Anya giving Octavia a high-five.   
“Bell! I always know O is a traitor, but you too????” Clarke turned to Bellamy hoping that he would at least help her.   
“You can let her go. I’m done.” interrupted Anya Bellamy before he could answer. Both Blake’s let go of Clarke who was about to attack Anya for what ever she done.   
  
“Clarke! This is a hospital not a playground!” yelled Clarke’s mother from the now opened door. “I thought you’re all here for Raven!”  
“But they-” tried Clarke to explain.  
“I don’t care what they did. You’re not a kid anymore. Show some respect to the other patients. You’re supposed to be a doctor yourself.” cut Abby her daughter short. “Anyway. Everything went as planned. She should wake up soon. No more fighting though. Especially in Raven’s room. After you all settled your fight you can go in if you want. Just give them 5-10minutes to clean up.” with that Abby left them again.

 

“Who was that?” asked Anya wide eyed at such an encounter.

“Clarke’s mother Abby.” replied Bellamy as if nothing happened.

“I’m sorry Clarke. I didn’t mean to make your mother upset.” Anya clearly regret making Clarke’s mother angry, what was clearly not like Anya’s normal behavior. ‘Maybe she had bad experience with her parents all well.’ thought Clarke knowing that children growing up in the system often don’t have the best experience with their family.  
“Don’t worry Anya. We’re fighting all the time.” Clarke grinned at Anya appreciating her concern even if there was no reason to.

“Still sorry. She was right. We’re in a hospital… and Raven-”  
“We all care about Raven, but she never would us to be act like she would die next door. At least we have something funny to tell her now. But… What did you just do?” interrupted Clarke Anya so assure her that everything is fine.

“Oh, I just send Lexa a picture of you.” told her Anya as if that would be nothing.  
“WHAT?” Clarke was shocked. She doesn’t looked as good as she normally would. Well of course she doesn’t. How should she if she was waiting in the hospital for hours and sleeping this badly. What if Lexa find her extremely unattractive now? With her messy hair and deep dark circles around her eyes. _‘Would it matter anyway? She isn’t even gay… Stop falling for straight girls!’_  
“Oh common. You staring at your phone just like Lexa. You don’t even write for more then one day. That’s impressive. Plus Lexa opened up to you what is even more impressive.” Anya looked at Clarke with honest respect. “But more important… Well it’s actually not my place to tell you but she used to online date someone for quite some time… Turns out she got cat fished and yeah… Guess you know how down she was after finding out that she fall for someone who turned up to be someone completely else. I don’t want her to go through that again you know? Giving her a picture and telling her that I really meet you will help your case a lot.” Anya explained.

“My case?” asked Clarke understanding Anya’s point for view, but not knowing what Anya wants to tell her.   
“Turning my sister gay of course! Well she already is, but don’t know it yet. You seem like a good person and there must be a reason Lexa is so attracted to you just by writing. Just promise me to not play with her heart. She may be a hand full, but she means well. Even if she can’t show it she really does care about the people she loves.” Anya looked at Clarke as if she wanted to find any doubt Clarke may have towards her sister.

“Okay… let me get this straight… You basically want me to date your sister? Just like that? First you say tell me you would kill me if I play with her heart and now even help me getting her to like me? I’m seriously confused.”

“This girl just deserves the world and for what ever reason most people find her scary, bossy or what ever. Just like this 2 here. Everyone seems to misunderstand her and you’re the only one who may like her before you actually meet her. I may don’t know you but I just wish for my sister to finally meet someone who sees her for her. Just her and not her appearance or self-protective behavior. She-”

“Anya. It’s okay. I can only guess how Lexa must feel after going throw that. She told me what love meant to her before. Well what the others taught her what love means. Anyway, I do like her. Doesn’t mean I would go so far that I want to date her or anything. I had a really bad break-up and I’m not sure ready for that yet.” told her Clarke honest. Sure she want to meet her sister, but that doesn’t mean she have to instantly date her.   
“You don’t have to. It would be just nice if she finds a new friend. Someone to talk to. I wouldn’t ask for more.” said Anya turning towards Ravens door. Bellamy and Octavia were already in there to give Clarke and Anya the opportunity to talk about Lexa in private. Deciding that they agreed on Lexa’s case they followed them inside Ravens room. Raven was still sleeping with all kind of cables attached to her. Her leg was wrapped in bandages while the rest of her body was covered with a blanked.

 

They stayed in the room for what felt like hours. Lexa didn’t write Clarke anymore what made her slightly worried. She had write her before that she will get offline until Raven wakes up, but didn’t even get a respond to that. _‘Was that all to much or to soon for Lexa? Or was the picture the problem?_ ’ thought Clarke trying to ease her mind without much success. Anya was standing by the door just looking at Raven with a painful look. Since they interred the room Anya said not even one single word. Octavia and Bellamy are sitting next to Raven’s bed while Clarke stand next to the window.

 

After what felt like hours Raven slowly woke up. Octavia didn’t waste any time and instantly hugged her barely able to hold back her tears. Her brother only smiled at them, clearly happy that Raven seems to be okay. Clarke was the next to give Raven a small hug making sure to be more carefully with Raven. Raven herself was still a bit off and talk nonsense most of the time. It took her some time to think clear again, but was just happy that the surgery was over now. Hopefully she would be happy to walk sometimes again without being in constantly pain.   


“Wow, they really fucking drugged me.” told them Raven now finally letting her view wander and finding Anya, who never even moved since coming here. She didn’t even react to Raven waking up. All Anya did was staring at her without showing any emotions. Just nothing. _‘Maybe this is all a bit much for her...’_ thought Clarke still not knowing what Raven’s and Anya’s relationship is. “If I wouldn’t know it any better I would say that Anya is really standing there. Haha. Like that would ever happen.” laughs Raven bittersweet as if she really thought that Anya was just standing there in her imaginary.   
“She is Raven. She really is here.” said Bellamy unsure if Raven would welcome it or kill him for it.

“Stop the crap Bell. We both know that she never would. She doesn’t even fucking know.” answered Raven as if Bellamy just made the most stupid joke ever.   
“She would if you told her yourself like she deserves it.” Bellamy replied angry. What ever happened between this three really need to be talked about.  
“Pfff, as if. She would never care about that. Everything that connects us is sex. Which you know can’t happen in the next weeks. This sucks, by the way. Really does.” at that Anya finally showed some reaction. Even then it was just briefly. Clarke saw the hurt in Anya’s eyes before she could cover it again.   


“Raven, Bellamy isn’t lying. Anya is here.” interrupted Clarke the two. “Let’s go Blake’s. Give this two some time to talk alone. You want something to eat Raven?”

“She-, What? That..” Raven looked at here as if she was crazy. Knowing that Clarke never meet Anya before she starts to understand that Anya really must be here. For her. “No. I’m good. I think.”

 

–

 

After the three friends left her with Anya alone they start with their normal staring match. What become a habit a long time ago slowly turned into understanding. The first time she caught Anya staring like that she thought that Anya must hate her for what ever reason. She never done anything to that girl. Not that she would know it. Firstly she wondered if she had sex with one of her love interests and was simply jealous. Raven learn rather quickly that this can’t be the real reason since Anya didn’t seem to have a type at all. She really took what she would get but never stopped starring at Raven. It took her weeks to think about the possibility that Anya maybe just liked her. Even if both of them randomly slept with people they never slept or even spoke with each other. There was always some kind of distance between them. If Raven wouldn’t know it any better she would bet that both of them can’t even really stand being in the same room as the other.   
  
Everything changed when both of them seemed to drunk one or two shots to much. Raven just couldn’t take it anymore. She had no idea what but Anya pissed her off even more then she normally does. Not even knowing why she even cared about knowing her name while not even remembering one of her one-night-stands, she walked straight in front of Anya. Never ever dared to look away from this beautiful eyes. While Raven had no idea what was wrong with Anya she was never able to tell herself that this girl isn’t beyond gorgeous. Her long dark blond her. This killed cheekbones… Her trained body… Everything was sooo damn perfect...

 

Both of them didn’t said anything. It’s not like they would even remember anymore who moved first. Everything they know is that they suddenly kissed. Nothing about this kiss was loving. It was rough and fast. Not sweet lips touching, but rather lips raw hurtful pressing against each other. No matter how hard and hurting it was, it was still the best kiss Raven ever had in her dear life. The rest, like most of the kiss as well, was just blur. Somehow they end up at Anya’s place and had sex. So god damn good sex. Still didn’t changed the fact that Raven had no idea what this means. She doesn’t wanted to wait until Anya wakes up just to kick her out and never talk to her again. Everybody knows Anya’s rules that made it quite clear that Anya will never ever do that again with Raven. Normally don’t even talk to her. Nothing. The worst part was that Raven was the same. She never treated her lovers any better. Not a single one since her now ex-boyfriend cheated on her. So she does the only right thing in her opinion. She run. Not giving Anya the chance to kick her out slowly got up and left Anya’s apartment as silent as possible.   
  
The next time she saw Anya she tried to avoid her. All of this wasn’t supposed to happen anyway. Just when she got into the bathroom she meet the wall the moment she entered the cabin. She didn’t even had a chance to register what happened. Everything she knows is that Anya’s lips were on hers again but this time slowly and softly. Anya was still holding her against the wall but now without much force. She gave Raven the opportunity to leave her. To tell her this is wring. That she would not want that. Not again. But Raven didn’t. No, if she ever did anything then to hold Anya more tightly against herself.   


This happened a lot of times later on as well. Weeks turned into months where Raven didn’t even cared about sleeping with anybody else than Anya. They didn’t even really gone into the bar anymore. They mostly meet inside and would be at Anya’s place even before they were drinking anything at all. They never talked about what this would mean for them. They simply enjoyed what ever this is.

 

What Raven can’t seem to figure out is that Anya got more and more soft on her. She start holding her. Letting her stay over. Even making her breakfast… Everything seemed perfect and Raven was content just the way things were. Being with Anya just seemed right. Still, they weren’t in any kind of relationship. Needless to say that Raven was lost the moment her leg start hurting more and more. The doctors told her that she would need another surgery. Something was off with her leg which can’t be repaired without it. That would mean she wouldn’t be able to move her leg again for weeks. No walking around, no sport, no sex…   
Whatever this was with Anya would end the moment she had this surgery. She wouldn’t be able to see Anya like this and it was clear as the day that Anya would lose her interests in Raven anyway. All this scars were just disgusting for Raven. She wasn’t sure what to do anymore. The only thing she knows is that she don’t want to let Anya leave her. So she made the plan to make herself leave Anya. No matter what. Sadly Anya did care about her. Cared about her pain. Kissed her scars as if they would be the most beautiful thing ever. So she run. Run away and tried to forget everything ever happened. Without any success.

 

And now they are here. In the hospital after her surgery. With Anya waiting for her in her own room. Alone. No way to run, with nobody who could help her. Anya was never much of a talker and they never really did talk in general. _‘It was always just about sex, wasn’t it?’_

 

“You. Are. A. Fucking. Annoying. Idiot.” started Anya knowing that Raven would not.

“Hello to you too.” countered Raven.

“What the fuck were you thinking?”

“What do you mean? It’s not like I chose to have this stupid leg-”

“I don’t care about that! How could you just run away like this???”

“As if it would change anything if I would have stayed. I just wanted to have some sex before I’m unable for weeks. That you stopped. So thanks for that by the way.”

“Just some random sex? Was that all to you? All this time? Tell me: Did you jumped in bed with the next best guy after I turned you down and you run away?” Anya was hurt. Really hurt.

“WHAT??? Of course not!! I couldn’t-” but Raven stopped herself before she was finished the sentence.

“What couldn’t you?”

“Not important.”

“WHAT. COULDN’T. YOU?” Anya got even more angry.

“Sleep with anybody else! Even if I wanted to! I could not!!”

“Why?”

“BECAUSE NOBODY WOULD BE YOU OF COURSE!” screamed Raven.

 

She was now crying as was Anya. Both of them just stared at each other until Anya suddenly moved and hugged Raven for her dear life. It was a bit to hard for Ravens current situation but she didn’t mind. All the thinks about is that Anya was here. Here with her. Holding her like she wanted for the past few days. Days which felt like years because she couldn’t stop thinking about Anya. About never be able to see her again. To feel her again.   
  
“Promise me you never do that again. Please… don’t run away again Like that.. Don’t hurt yourself like this again just to please someone...” Raven never heard Anya’s voice so broken before.  
“I’m not sure I can do that.” answered Raven honestly, crying even more.

“Just try, okay? Do you have any idea how worried I was?” Anya had her head buried in Ravens neck. She wasn’t even trying to hide her tears anymore.

“Actually no… I thought.. That after the surgery.. You would lose your interests and yeah… I’m not taking it well when someone leaves me… So I wanted to leave you but I just can’t… I mean there is nothing I can offer you now. I will not be able to walk or eve move my leg for quite some time… Not to mention that I will get even more ugly looking scars and-”

“I don’t care about how your leg looks. I don’t mind any of your scars. Non of them and never will. Just don’t leave me again like this.”

“But we can’t-”

“We can when your body is ready for it again. Then everything is healed and you aren’t in pain anymore.”

“But what about until then? I can totally understand if you want somebody else while I can’t-”

“Raven.” It was the first time Raven heard Anya calling her by her name. She had no idea why but she start crying even more. Not because she was hurt… No… Because she felt cared for. Worth someones time… Nearly loved. “I don’t want somebody else. Actually since we first… I never-”

“Me neither, Anya.” Raven cut Anya short because she know what she wanted to tell her. This whole situation was just fucked up. If they would have just talked sooner all of this could have been avoided.   
“I like it if you call me by my name.” Anya was now looking up. Eyes still red from the crying.   
“I like then you call me by my name as well.” smiled Raven at Anya who wasn’t looking any better.

“Raven...” Anya moved slowly closer ready to kiss her any second.

 

“Jo, Raven!!” both of them instantly separated with bright red faces.

“Jasper! The fuck! Can’t you knock??” Raven yelled at the young boy.

“Oh, sorry. Did I interrupt something important? Are you okay? You both look kind of sick.”

“I had surgery just hours ago Jasper. Of course I do. And yes you really did.”

“Well, sorry. What about you gorgeous. You’re okay? Can I get you something to drink?” asked Jasper Anya trying hard to flirt but only getting an annoying glare from Anya.

“The fuck? Do you just visit me here to flirt with my girlf-... With-... a friend of me?” Raven was now even redder. Anya looked at her with wide eyes not knowing if she should welcome Raven calling her a ‘friend’ or not. Not yet anyway.

“I can’t waste any possibility to flirt with such a beautiful girl.” Jasper still grinned from ear to ear.   
“You can stop trying. Never gonna happen.”

“How can you be so sure Raven? Maybe she’s mine next time we see each-”

“She’s-”

“Already taken.” interjected Anya. “I should probably go now. Seems like your friends want some time with you as well. Don’t over do it okay? I’ll come back tomorrow. Can I borrow your phone for a second please?”

 

Raven just starred at her. Was Anya referring to her? Anya told her she would wait, didn’t she? And she doesn’t want somebody else… So are they… dating? Girlfriends? Friends with benefits… _‘What??? Why must everything be so damn complicated’_  


Wordlessly Raven gave Anya her phone not caring what Anya would do with it. Jasper just stared at them already forgotten that he just got turned down. Anya gave Raven her phone back and brushed her hand softly against Raven’s. “Till tomorrow, Raven.”

 

“The fuck did just happened?” asked Octavia who watched the whole scenario from the door frame with Bellamy and Clarke.

“I have no idea” answered Jasper because Raven was busy staring at her phone.

“You okay Raven?” Clarke made her way towards Raven. She only saw that Raven was looking at one of her phone contacts.

 

“What the fuck does ‘ai niron’ mean?” asked Raven to which Octavia burst out laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that were is mostly Ranya. But this two just deserve it!!   
> I really loves Anya and I was sooooo sad after she died...   
> -.-  
> Fuck you JR 
> 
> Next Chapter will be pure fluff Clexa <3  
> I promise <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay...  
> I already had this chapter finished.. but then i had surgery.. and you know..  
> Anyway!  
> This is pure Clexa Fluff now and the next chapter is finished as well :D  
> I hope you like it <3  
> Love you all <3 <3 <3

****Anya:****  BTW. That’s Clarke. Good luck with staying straight. 

 

 _‘_ _ _Well, fuck me’__ thought Lexa still not knowing what her body tries to tell her. She never felt like this but always imagined that this must be what falling in love feels like. But that couldn’t it be, right? That just can’t be it. Maybe she is just sick. Has some fever. Just anything.

Lexa was still staring at Clarke’s picture. _‘Those eyes… How can eyes be soooo blue? And how is it possible to be that beautiful at all?’_ asked Lexa herself.

It takes Lexa some time to realize that the girl she flirted with the whole time was this goddess.  
It takes Lexa even more time to find a reason why someone as gorgeous as Clarke would even write with her at all. She comes to the realization that there were none. Not a single one. Clarke did told her that she’s without doubt quite popular but nothing prepared Lexa for this.  
She didn’t even noticed that Clarke did write her later on. Maybe Anya was lying? Maybe this isn’t Clarke at all? Sadly she know that Anya wouldn’t do that. Plus the fact that this picture was taken in a hospital… A hospital she knows. So it wasn’t hard to figure out that Anya made this picture after meeting Clarke because of Raven’s surgery. Her heart was still beating fast and even faster any moment she looked at Clarke’s picture. _‘This just can’t be!’_ Lexa tried to deny that her heart rate has nothing to do with that picture, but knows better then anyone else that it surely does. Is it possible that Anya was right? Could it really be that she likes girls? Or at least as well? She can’t remember ever having this problem with any of the boys she meet. There were always some girls who she thought were beautiful, but nothing more. Maybe Clarke is special. Well she really is. Lexa never doubted that, doesn’t mean that she wants to admit that Clarke is that special to her.  
_‘Not that I would ever have a chance anyway. She could have anyone.’Why should she even look at me. Nobody likes me anyway.’_ Truth to be told she do have some friends. Could Clarke be a friend for her as well? Probably not. She will always be just someone to chat with. Just now Lexa remembered that Clarke asked her to meet her. Did this make them some kind of friends? Or did Clarke asked her just because of politeness? Because she would meet her anyway? No, that wouldn’t me like Clarke. Any even if… that wouldn’t change the main question. Would Lexa want to be Clarke’s ‘friend’ Just a friend??

 

 **Clarke:** Please forget the picture! I must look horrible. Anya just did it before I could notice it…  
**Clarke:** You’re still there?  
**Clarke:** Okay, we’re going in. Hopefully Raven is okay.  
**Clarke** : Raven is fine. Are your sister and Raven in a relationship? They sure act like that.  
**Clarke** :… Did I done something wrong?

 _‘Shit!’_ thought Lexa. She forgot that Clarke must told her something to the picture as well. After looking at the clock she notices that she didn’t answered for more than an hour.

 

 **Lexa:** Sorry! No I’m here. Everything's fine.

Lexa didn’t know if she should say something to the picture. It was beyond beautiful for her, but should she really tell her that? Wouldn’t that be weird?

 **Clarke:** Thanks god. I really thought something happened. You just stopped writing…

 **Lexa:** I was lost in thoughts. I’m really sorry. I don’t wanted to make you worry.  
  
**Clarke:** Did something happen? If this is about the picture I’m sorry. I normally look less like a zombie. I swear.

 **Lexa:** Zombie?  
_‘A zombie is really the last thing you look like Clarke. How can someone so pretty as you think so poorly of herself?’_

 **Clarke:** Yeahhh… I have fucking huge dark circles and my hair is just messy as hell… Should we ever meet I promise to look like a normal living person.

 **Lexa:** You’re kidding right?  
  
**Clarke:** What?

 _‘Fuck it.’_  
**Lexa:** You do realize how beautiful you are, right?  
  
**Clarke:** Am not. You don’t have to be so nice to me Lexa.

 **Lexa:** Seriously. You. Are. Gorgeous.  
  
**Clarke:** Alright prince charming. I’m sure you look just as good.  
  
**Lexa:** Nah. Not even close.

 **Clarke:** Oh common. Don’t think poorly of you.  
  
**Lexa:** Says you!

 **Clarke:** So no chance I get a picture in return?  
  
Her heart skipped a beat. Does Clarke maybe like her just a tiny bit as well? Or why would she want a picture? First she want to meet and now a picture?  
**Lexa:** Why would you want a picture?  
  
**Clarke:** Well, it’s only fair to know how you look like after your sister showed you how I look.  
  
**Lexa:** Guess it’s bad luck then that Octavia didn’t make a picture for you like Anya did for me.  
  
**Clarke:** Not you too -.- I should have worked! I could have already meet you…

 **Lexa:** Why would you want that anyway?  
  
**Clarke:** You’re fun to write with. Plus new friends can never hurt. Actually you’re kind of really different like my normal friends. Almost the completely opposite. In a good way, of course!  
  
**Lexa:** And why is that? I don’t want to offend you but doesn’t it mean that we may not work together as good as your other friends?  
  
**Clarke:** Why is that? Being different isn’t a bad thing. Not at all! My friends are just… Funny you know… but if it comes to serious conversations… Sometimes you just want to have you’re peace with someone. Not much talking… Just spending time together and enjoining each others present. Can’t have that with this party animals.  
  
**Lexa:** So you basically just told me I’m dull and silent. And that’s the reason you want to meet me?  
  
**Clarke:** WHAT??? NO! That’s not what I mean! Don’t you ever had that? Just someone next to you, who understands you without talking much? Who would just hug you without asking any questions?  
  
**Lexa:** No… I mean my family maybe… But no, not really.

 **Clarke** : I had my dad. Since he’s dead I have nobody with this kind of connection. I mean I don’t really know you but you kind of remind me of him.

 **Lexa:** How so?  
  
**Clarke:** You’re calm. You try to make me comfortable even if it means your own discomfort. You never push… You listen and just try to be there for me and you don’t even know me. If I told my friends what I was writing you… I’m sure they wouldn’t even remember half of it. And there you are remembering everything letting me tell you things I don’t tell anyone without any reason to.

 **Lexa:** I don’t think I want to be your daddy. I’m sure your mother must be really beautiful for giving birth to someone like you but…

 **Clarke:** WHAT?!? NO! Stop right there! Raven hit enough on my mom for everyone's good. Believe me. Being my daddy is the last thing I want you to be.  
  
**Lexa:** Raven was flirting with your mother? For real?

 **Clarke:** You have no idea what this girl is capable of. I have actually no idea how Anya managed to tame her.

 **Lexa:** Then that makes two of us. I don’t have any idea how Raven tamed Anya either.  
  
**Clarke:** Anyway. Still no picture?  
  
**Lexa:** Will you ever give up?  
  
**Clarke:** Nope. There is only one thing that could stop me.  
  
**Lexa:** Which would be.  
  
**Clarke:** Meet me, of course.  
  
**Lexa:** Funny.  
  
**Clarke:** What? I’m not that bad…  
  
**Lexa:** I’m not that pleasant to be with as you wish I would be.

 **Clarke:** Oh? Is this about the: Everyone thinks I’m grumpy, bossy or what ever? I don’t care. Your sister already told me that you’re the sweetest dorkiest person ever. I just have to break your armor first :D  
  
**Lexa:** She did not.  
  
**Clarke:** She sure did.

 **Lexa:** I’m going to kill her!

 **Clarke:** No you’re not.

 **Lexa:** But I wish I would!

 **Clarke:** No, you’re still not. Ah your sister finished talking with Raven. I’m going back in. Write you later  <3  
  
**Lexa:** Okay. Tell her best wishes from me.

 **Clarke:** Will do. I think your sister cried. Her eyes were puffy and red.  
  
**Lexa:** I hope that things with the two worked out. Now stop wasting your time with someone like me and keep Ravens company.  
  
**Clarke:** You’re worth my time Lexa. Just to make this clear. Bye.

_‘No I’m not.’_

 

–

“What the fuck does ‘ai niron’ mean?” asked Raven

Octavia was still laughing hard and failed to catch her breath for quite some time. Jasper gone out to pick up Monty who just now arrived.  
“So much for Anya only being my future sister-in-law.” managed Octavia to say while keep laughing.  
“Future sister-in-law? What the hell happened while I was in surgery? I thought you are all single?” asked Raven confused.  
“Apparently Octavia is dating Anya’s brother and Clarke will soon dating her sister.” explained Bellamy.  
“WHAT??? When did this happen???How??” Raven was shocked.

“Well O is seeing her brother for quite some time at work. Now I know why she always want’s the early shift.” told her Clarke.  
“And what about your sweet little girl?” Raven was always good at teasing Clarke. Ever since they found out that they dated the same guy at the same time, they made a game out of it to tease the other as much as they could.  
“Lexa… We’re actually not even writing for a whole day. We’re not dating, though. I don’t even know how she looks like and… more important she’s not even gay.” tried Clarke to say without sounding to disappointed at her own word.  
“ONE DAY??? You’re drooling over a girl you don’t even know for 24 hours? A straight girl?!? Wow Clarke. Lexa really did a great job.” interrupted Octavia the two friends.  
“I’m not drooling!” objected Clarke.  
“You are! And you’re just bitter that Bellamy and I already meet her and you didn’t! Face it Griffin. That girl got ya!” said Octavia.  
“Wow, wow, wow. Slow down all. Let me get this straight. You write with Lexa. Which happens to meet the Blake’s but not you while you have no idea how she even looks like. And furthermore she happens to be Anya’s sister as well. So they are all teasing you?” everyone nodded. “That’s supposed to be my job!!!” objected Raven.  
  
“It only get’s better!! Anya made pictures of Clarke while she was staring like a completely love stuck dork at her phone. Not only that but she managed to make Clarke look at her with red cheeks and all for a picture. She send them all to Lexa. Bet Clarke didn’t get a picture in return so far. Considering her mood.” laughs Octavia again.  
“Holy shit!! That’s gold!!! Why did I stuck here! That’s so unfair.” Raven had to make sure that Anya would send her the pictures later on.  
“Could you just stop! That’s not funny. She doesn’t even want to meet me...” Clarke was tired of being teased. Everyone will know Lexa before her. That makes Clarke slowly mad.  
“Of common Griffin! We love you!” Octavia hugged her and give her a small kiss on the forehead.  
“Yeah… Sure you do.” Clarke was slightly pissed at her friends. Why are they so lucky to know Lexa while she didn’t.  
Meanwhile Raven searched in her contacts again and called Anya. She made sure to turn on her loudspeaker.  
“What are you doing Raven?” asked Clarke curious not knowing who Raven is calling.

“Hey Anya! So the Blake’s just told me something funny!!” Raven instantly start speaking after hearing that someone picked up the phone without letting them speak first.  
“The fuck Raven!! Stop that!” yelled Clarke really angry now. Enough is enough.  
“Shut up Clarke! I’m ill let me have my fun! They already had the chance to tease you with that Lexa. I didn’t, means it’s only fair if I get my fair share of teasing as well. I’m sick. Gimme some love Griffin!” Raven replied with a smile.  
“Really? You playing the sick-card?” fired Clarke back.  
“Of course I do. As if I would not pull the best out of every situation. No matter how bad it might be.”  
“You suck, Raven.”  
“There are certain people who can assure you that I can suck quite well.”  
“Ewwwwwww, Raven just ewwww. We’re living together for gods sake. I don’t wanna hear that!”

  
“Still true. She really can.” interrupted them Anya clearly amused by this conversation.  
“ANYA!! Stop that. I will never get this pictures out of my head ever again!” Clarke begged.  
“You’re not half bad yourself.” grinned Raven enjoying teasing Clarke just as much as Anya.

“Yo, I’m back!” Jasper comes back followed by Monty into the room finding Octavia and Bellamy trying to hold back there laughing, while Clarke was bright red and Raven was grinning from ear to ear. “What’s wrong? Are you okay Clarke?”  
“I need to get out of here! You all su-, You’re all bad people!” Clarke went out of the room again.  
“Sure Griffin! Go write with you’re sweetheart!!” yelled Raven after her laughing her ass off.

 

After Clarke left the room Raven turned back to Anya.  
“Anya.” Raven started.  
“Yes, Raven?”  
“You want your sister to date Clarke just as much as I want Clarke to date Lexa?”  
“You can bet you ass on it.”  
“Good. So how do we play Cupid?”  
“I may have an idea.” interrupted them Octavia.  
“And that might be?” asked Raven.  
  
“So you see-” Octavia explained them the plan which would make sure that Lexa and Clarke will meet without being able to run away or miss each other. Of course all had to work without all of them being there. If Clarke or Lexa would see any of them, they would just get angry and leave. Which would mean everything will went down and Lexa and Clarke will never work out.

 

“Wow! That’s brilliant!” said Anya after Octavia finished her idea. “Lexa will always be early. So there is not a single way this will not work!!”  
“Holy shit O. Did you read this somewhere? That’s soooo damn good!” Raven was happy about the plan as well.  
  
“Soooo good plan… and when will you get me a girlfriend as well?” asked Jasper innocently which only gets glares from the rest. “Oh common! I’m not that bad! I deserve some love as well!”

 

–

 

 **Clarke:** This bastards!!!

 **Lexa:** Wowwww slow down. What happened now?

 **Clarke:** They are all teasing the shit out of me!

 **Lexa:** Why?

 **Clarke:** Because all of them already know you!

 **Lexa:** They may have meet me before but you are the only one of them who knows me Clarke.

 **Clarke** : …

 **Lexa:** It’s true. But if all of this is making you feel so badly we can meet now. As long as it makes you feel better it’s fine by me. I just want to warn you that I’m not that nice in person as you think I am.

 **Clarke:** NO! I don’t want you to agree meeting me because I push you to do that.

 **Lexa:** It’s okay for me. Really. I don’t like knowing that your upset about something I can change.

 **Clarke:** It’s okay Lexa. Under normal circumstances we wouldn’t meet as well. I mean not after a day that is. Maybe I should just sleep and let them talk. I don’t want to ruin my chance to get to know you just because they like to tease me.

 **Lexa:** Ruin your chance?

 **Clarke:** You said yourself that you are not an open person. That you aren’t good at speaking with people or showing emotions. That people misunderstand you because of your behavior. I guess Anya is right and I should just try to get to know the real you. It’s not like your appearance would change anything. So it doesn’t matter how you look like anyway. I just stop being nosy and be happy to write with you.

 **Lexa:** Being nosy isn’t always a bad thing Clarke.

 **Clarke:** In my case it is.

 **Lexa:** It’s not.

 **Clarke** : It is.  
  
**Lexa:** Clarke… seriously. I would be lying if I say that I’m not happy that you want to meet me. That you show interest in me. But… I… Every time I write with someone who tells me that he likes me and want to meet… it ended badly. I’m just not good with people... I don’t know.

 **Clarke:** I wouldn’t do that.

 **Lexa:** I know. That’s why I said we could meet.

 **Clarke:** Yeah.. but not because you wanted to. We would only meet because the others would force us to do that. Because playing cupid is so much fun.  
  
**Lexa:** Exactly.

 **Clarke:** They totally played me, didn’t they?  
  
**Lexa:** Just a little bit.

 **Clarke:** Is that why you didn’t wanted to meet and send a picture in the first place? Cuz you know that this would be what Anya wanted the whole time?

 **Lexa:** I mean… My siblings created an account on a dating website for me to meet someone like you. Their intentions were quite clear from the beginning. Now that Anya knows you it wasn’t hard to figure out what she is planing. I’m sorry that you have to suffer because of me and my lack of dating potential.

 **Clarke:** Don’t be. They just made me so mad that I didn’t get what the real goal was. I’m sorry that I realized it just now and made it even harder for you.

 **Lexa:** Everything’s fine Clarke. I just want us to meet under our conditions. Not because they like to play games with us.

 **Clarke:** Okay… I’m fine with taking things slow for now. But I do have a question...

 **Lexa:** Yes?

 **Clarke:** Does taking things slow exclude calling you? I mean I really wanted to just call you last night… Writing like this just is fine but I prefer calling you when it’s late. Staring in the dark a bright screen hurts after a while. I mean I do have your number now anyway… I know you’re not much of a talker but I’m talking for two anyway. It doesn’t matter if you just listen to me most of the time. I really don’t mind.

 **Lexa:** Where are you now?

 **Clarke** : I’m almost at home on my way straight to bed.

 **Lexa:** But you’re not driving now, aren’t you?”

 **Clarke:** Of course not! I’m walking. I don’t live far way from the hospital.

 **Lexa:** Ah okay.

 **Clarke:** And what are you doing?

 **Lexa:** Laying in my bed and writing with you.

 **Clarke** : Did I disturbed your sleeping? Sorry! We don’t have to write…

 **Lexa:** It’s okay Clarke. I like writing with you.

 **Clarke:** I like writing with you really much as well :)

 **Lexa:** Then hurry up and get home so we can talk to each other.

 **Clarke:** You’re sure? We don’t have to.  
  
**Lexa:** It’s only fair that you get at least something you want today.  
  
**Clarke:** Well~ I do got your number :D  
  
**Lexa:** And I got two pictures. Plus you’re right with staring at the screen while being sleepy.

 **Clarke:** Two??? Care to send me the pictures?

 **Lexa:** Maybe. Maybe not.  
  
**Clarke:** But this are pictures of me!

 **Lexa:** Which were made for me.

 **Clarke:** … K. What ever. I’m home now. I’ll change quickly.

 **Lexa:** Okay, I’m waiting.

 

Clarke used the time to brush her teeth and quickly change into a wide shirt and some pants. Making her room as dark as possible since it was still kind of bright outside she got into her big fluffy double bed. Now that she is comfy she wondered how Lexa would be while talking with her. Would she be different? Octavia and Bellamy both told her that she is kind of intense. Deciding that she just have to wait and see she start writing Lexa again.

 

 **Clarke:** I’m ready. Just tell me when I can call you.

 

But Clarke didn’t get an answer. After a few minutes her phone starts ringing all of the sudden. Of course she thought that it had to be one of her friends who want’s to bring her back to Raven. So without thinking she answered the call.

“What?” said Clarke annoyed.  
  
“Uhm, hello?” answered the other person unsure what to answer after getting such a response right after calling.

“Hey?” Clarke was confused. She didn’t know this voice. “Do I know you?”

“Don’t you usually check who is calling you?” asked the stranger. Well a stranger with a beautiful voice as Clarke must confesse. Clarke then looked at her screen only to find Lexas name on it. _‘Wait, LEEXA????’_  
“What-, I. Fuck sorry! I didn’t thought you would call me. I-” Clarke didn’t know how to react now. She surely didn’t expect Lexa to just call her. _‘You mad an awesome first impression Griffin. Good job. Not.'_

To Clarke’s relief she just heard Lexa laugh a bit. It was already one of her favorite things to hear so she made a mental note to make Lexa laugh as much as possible. “It’s okay Clarke.” Nobody every said Clarke’s name like that. It sounded more like Klark and definitely not soft at all. It made her shiver the way Lexa rolled the K and she sure as hell want to hear that a lot more. Maybe even under different circumstances. _‘WAIT! Bad Clarke! You’re thirst is showing way to much!’_

“I just didn’t expect you to actually call me Lexa.” told her Clarke honest. “I mean I’m happy you did! REEALLLYY happy. So, so happy! I just-”

“Clarke” interrupted Lexa Clarke’s smattering. “It’s really fine.” _‘There it is again.’_

“Gosh, sorry. I told you I can talk for two and way to fast sometimes. Even more then I’m nervous, sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m nervous as well.” Lexa told her calmly.

“Really? I’m a stammering mess while you are all calm and everything.”

“To your defense I had some minutes to build up the courage to call you in the first place.” admitted Lexa

“Really?” Clarke grinned knowing that Lexa might be just as nervous as she is.

“Really.”

“Sooo… how are you?”

“Good, you?”  
  
“Better now since I’m talking to you.”

“So charming.” laughed Lexa. And god is it nice to hear her laughing.

“Just to you.”

“Oh, really? And why is that?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you’re just special.”

“I’m not special at all.”

“You are. For me.”

“...”

“I really mean it Lexa. You are special.”

“You can’t know that. We don’t really know each other. There is a huge change you get bored really soon.”

“Well you could always ask.”

“Ask what?”

“Ask me things about me. Anything you want to know. Dunno. We could play a game. Like I ask you something and you answer with yes and no. Same for you. We’ll see than about the getting bored thing.”

“Why don’t we just ask directly and answer?”

“Because that would make zero fun. Like this we have to work to get to know each other.”

“If you think so. You can start.”

“Do you drink your coffee black?”

“Seriously? What kind of question is that?”

“You do remember where I’m working, aren’t you? That’s really important. The way you drink you’re coffee tells so much about you.”

“Okay? No, I don’t drink my coffee black.”

“Your turn. Ask me anything you like.”

“Uhh… Do you drink your coffee black?”

“Really? Creative again aren’t we? Yes, I do. Okay, so do you drink your coffee with milk and sugar?”

“You have a coffee fetish, don’t you? But yes. Do you like… video games?”

“Just a bit. And yeesssss! Love them! One cube of sugar?”

“Clllaarrkkkeee… really?” Lexa whined. _‘Gosh how can she be so cute!’_

“Common. I have no idea what to ask.”

“You started this game!”

“I normally don’t have to do this.”

“What? Having conversations?”

“No! Have to get to know someone while asking. I normally just meet people. Become friends… Get to know them in the meantime. You know?”

“Yeah…” Lexa sighed.

“Doesn’t mean I don’t want this! It’s just new for me.”

“...”

“You know… I didn’t imagine you like this.” said Clarke honest and a bit nervous.

“Like what?”

“Well, don’t get me wrong. I don’t care what my friends told me about you! Even if it was nothing bad. I swear… But… all of them told me that you are bossy, intense and yeah… So I tried to picture you.” explained Clarke carefully.

“And you pictured me how?” asked Lexa interested. 

“First of all I thought you have a deep voice. You know? A really deep commanding bad-ass voice. But your voice is so bright and beautiful!”

“Thanks? I guess. But I didn’t thought your voice be like this as well. You look like an angel with your blond hair and this beautiful blue eyes… Okay… I know that your character is kind of… well dirty. But I imagined your voice to be bright but it’s actually deep and yeah… I mean I like it! Just not how I pictured you.” _‘What a cute dork’_

“It’s alright Lexa. I get that a lot. But trust me, I’m everything but not an angel.” Clarke laughed. She really got a lot that she looks like an angle and most people get wide eyes if she speaks even deeper then she normally does. It doesn’t take them long until they figure out, that if she is an angle, she must be a really dirty one. Sadly this turns most guys even more on.

“You have a beautiful laugh Clarke.”

“Same for you.”

“And I already had my fair share of your dirty side. I’m aware that you’re not an angel at all.”

“I can still be cute, though.”

“You’re always cute.”

“And you called me charming, Lexa.”

“That you are. Maybe I just have a good day.”

“I will not complain.” Clarke tried to hold back her yawning but failed. Sure she was really tiered after sleeping so little, but didn’t want to stop talking to Lexa.

“Sleepy, aren’t we?”

“Just a little bit.”

“Clarke.”

“Okay, yes… I am terribly tiered...”

“We don’t have to talk you know? I don’t mind if you want to sleep.”

“Already want to get rid of me?”

“What no! I like talking to you! But you are tired and-”

“I’m just messing with you Lexa.” laughs Clarke again.

“Oh, okay.”

“You know what. Put your phone on loud speaker and then place it next to your head on your pillow.”

“Okay? But why?”

“Because I’m doing the same thing. This way I can talk to you until I fall asleep. If you aren’t the one who sleeps first, that is.”

“I don’t think I can sleep with my eyes open.”

“Then close them? Not like you would need them while speaking with me.”

“That’s weird.”

“You never done that before? Talking with someone until you fall asleep?”

“No.”

“Okay, then I will gladly be your first. So phone on loud speaker, on your pillow and lay down with eyes close.”

“And they say I sound commanding.”

“Lexa. Just do it.”

“Sure, sure.”

“I’m serious!”

“I figured as much.” Clarke heard a bit of ruffling which must be that Lexa did as she told.

“How well-behaved.”

“Mockery is not the product of a strong mind, Clarke.”

“Mockery is not the-” repeated Clarke like a kid.

“Clarrkeeee.” interrupted her Lexa.

“Cllaarrrkkkeeeee, what?”

“Stop that.”

“Make me.”

“I would if I would be next to you.”

“Then come here. I would even allow you to cuddle with me.” snickered Clarke.

“What a generous offer.”

“What? You don’t want to cuddle with me? You must know I’m an excellent cuddler.” just talking about cuddling made Clarke even more sleepy.

“Oh are you? Lot’s of experience?”

“Yep.”  
  
“So you can be recommended?”

“Very much so.”

“Then I have to believe you, don’t I?”

“Hmmm.” Clarke yawned again.

“You don’t have to stay up, Clarke. Just sleep.”

“But I wanna talk to you more...”

“We can always talk tomorrow.”

“And the day after tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“And the day after after tomorrow?”

“All the days after tomorrow, if you wish.”

“Awwweessoommeeee~” Clarke said while yawning.

“Just sleep Clarke.” chuckled Lexa.

“But-”

“Clarke will sleep now, wouldn’t she?”

“Okay… Clarky will sleep… night Lexa….” Clarke nearly whispered because she was so sleepy.

“Sweet dreams Clarky.”

 

After this Clarke was deeply asleep. You could only hear a low snoring.  
Lexa ended the call and didn’t had to wait long until she was sleeping tightly as well.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wellll~  
> I hope you liked it :D  
> More Clexa Fluff to read in the next chapter.  
> Who knows~  
> Maybe they will meet next time, huh? :D
> 
> I still don't know when I will upload the next chapter.  
> It's already finished so do you want to wait a couple of days or do you want it as fast as possible ;P
> 
> Anyway:  
> I LOOOOVEEEE your comments and I read all of them! Sometimes you make me even cry because I'm so damn happy that you like this story so much.  
> Plus I may or may not rewrite 5k words because I liked the idea of one of my beloved readers more than mine xDD
> 
> Ah about that picture  
> I was drawing it for better imagination :D  
> What the images whould look like  
> Hope you like that as well
> 
>  
> 
> Lot's of love for everyone <3  
> Till next time


	7. Chapter 7

Lexa woke up to her phone ringing. Since she doesn’t have school on the weekend she didn’t had to wake early. Still someone dared to wake her up. Not looking who it is she answered the phone call.

“Hmm...” Lexa was clearly not awake.

“Awwww, did I wake someone up?”

“Shut up Anya. What do you want?”

“How come you didn’t sleep enough?”

“What do you wannntttt?” Lexa was not amused.

“So, I just saw you didn’t took a horror movie with you home to watch it. You promised me we would watch one. Remember?”

“And we must have this conversation now?”

“Hey! It’s not my fault if you stay up late to write with your girl.” defended Anya herself.

“Could you just come to the point?”

“So I got two cinema tickets. For today actually. I know you don’t have anything to do so we’re going!”

“Is that a question? Because it should be but doesn’t sound like one.”

“Because it ain't one. You, me, 8PM at Skycinema. You promised!”

“I didn’t promised to watch a movie the next day in the cinema.”

“Well, you wouldn’t want to go anyway. I always have to force you to do something like that.”

“What ever. Good. When should I be there?”

“I’ll be at at your home in 5 minutes. See you then.”

“What? Why?” asked Lexa but Anya already ended the call.  
  
“Great...” knowing that she has to wake up now she slowly got out of the bed. Her first move was to check her phone. Clarke seems to be still asleep since she didn’t write her so far. Should she wish her a good morning? Or would she wake up Clarke with the sound? She want Clarke to sleep as much as she needs. Just remembering how cute Clarke was last night let her grin like an idiot.

“Aww my sister is in love.” said Anya finally getting Lexas attention. Anya was holding her phone towards her and Lexa didn’t had to think twice what this had to mean.  
“ANYA!!! You didn’t!!” Lexa got up trying to get her sisters phone.  
“Not gonna happen, little sis. I already send them Raven anyway. You know just to be safe.” Anya grinned.  
“What???? You didn’t! Why would you?!?” Lexa was beyond pissed.  
“It’s only fair that Clarke gets a picture as well. Now I even got one in the same position. Dorks in Love. Almost cute.”  
“Nooo… NO!!! You can’t send this to Clarke!” yelled Lexa desperate.  
“What? Why not? Not like she had a choice as well.” replied Anya as if it wouldn’t be a big deal.  
“But she had normal cloths on and all! Look at me!” whined Lexa.  
  
“What? You worry about that way to big and old shirt? I always thought you like this shirt, since you seem to love wearing it despite the wholes and lack of color. Or is it about the cute raccoon on it? I think it suits you just fine.”  
“Maybe this or the part where I’m not wearing any pants?? And there is no way she can see me in this shirt! I look terrible in it!”  
“Sorry sis but with those legs you really don’t need to be ashamed. There is no need for pants, really. Anyway, Clarke will get this picture. No matter what you do.”  
“What??? NO! Oh common please. Why are you doing this. You’re my sister! If you do this I will not go with you to watch this movie!”  
“But you promised me!”  
“Don’t care. Send this Clarke and I will stay here!”  
“Are you serious?”  
“Totally!”  
“Good, okay jerk. Here’s your ticket. I dunno if I’ll be a bit late. You know how my work is. Just get us a jumbo box of popcorn and coke.”  
“You want to share?” asked Lexa skeptically.  
“Yeah why? I’m your sister god damn it. Stop being so uptight. I don’t drink much anyway. That would be just a waste of money. And I swear, if you start with this ‘everyone get it’s own straw’ bullshit I will hit you. I’m not sick!” explained Anya confident.  
“What ever. I’ll wait inside then.”  
“Yep, do that. I swear you will like it.”  
“Not like have a chance since you blackmailed me.”  
“Oh common Lex. We didn’t done anything since I moved out. I miss this.” whined Anya knowing that Lexa will melt.  
“Okay… I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t be. Just try to enjoy it later on. Okay? I know you don’t like going out but you need to. At least sometimes.”  
“I’m sure I will.”  
“That’s what I wanted to here. Sorry, but I need to go now. Work is waiting. See ya later Lex.”  
“Bye Anya.”

 

Just then Anya was outside Lexa’s phone start ringing.  
  
**Clarke:** Good morning sunshine.  
  
**Lexa:** Sunshine? Good morning as well. Did you sleep well?

**Clarke:** I didn’t sleep that well for a really long time. And yes, my sunshine.  
  
**Lexa** : I’m not sure it’s really fitting.  
  
**Clarke:** Don’t care. My sleepy head thinks you’re my sunshine. Deal with it.

**Lexa:** We’ll I can’t make your sleepy head upset now, can’t I?

**Clarke:** No, that would be cruel.  
  
**Lexa:** Then I’m happy to be your sunshine

**Clarke:** That’s my girl.  
  
**Lexa:** I though I’m your sunshine?  
  
**Clarke:** Stop confusing me. I didn’t had my much needed cup of coffee yet. Bad sunshine.  
  
**Lexa:** I’ll remember that.  
  
**Clarke:** You don’t wanna come over and make me coffee, don’t you?

**Lexa:** Someone’s lazy, huh?

**Clarke:** Mornings are just evil.  
  
**Lexa:** They are not. There is nothing batter than a good morning run.  
  
**Clarke:** Even my still sleeping brain can think of hundreds of things which were way better than running.

**Lexa:** Really? What is?  
  
**Clarke:** Sleeping, Food, Sex…

**Lexa:** These are only three things, Clarke.  
  
**Clarke:** But the most important!

**Lexa:** I would recommend drinking. You wouldn’t last long without it.  
  
**Clarke:** Define ‘drink’.

**Lexa:** Some liquid you can drink? Like Water? What else?

**Clarke:** Ohh, there are many different types of liquid. Some of them would be included while having sex. So I at least would drink ‘something’.

**Lexa:** Are you serious????

**Clarke:** What? It’s true!

**Lexa:** You are unbelievable. Even if your brain is not working you can always think of sex.  
  
**Clarke** : Well excuse me… I didn’t had sex in a really long time. Which I really fucking need.

**Lexa:** Poor you.

**Clarke:** Oh common. You can’t tell me it’s awesome to not have a proper fuck for a long period of time.

_‘No, because I never had.’_ thought Lexa.  
**Lexa:** Can we change the topic please. I better not think about that.

**Clarke:** That long? Uhhh, poor you.  
  
**Lexa:** You promised me to behave!

**Clarke:** My sleepy brain does not remember. I’m sorry, sunshine.  
  
**Lexa:** I want you to know that I really like writing with you, but please get up and make yourself some coffee.

**Clarke** : Aye, aye commander.

 

Lexa decided to use the time to put on some cloths since she was still in her shirt and underwear. After having some decent cloths on she got up to make herself some breakfast. She decided eat cereal today and sat down on her couch just then her phone start ringing again.

 

Incoming call from Clarke.  
_‘Why is she calling me?’_

 

“Hey?” asked Lexa slightly confused.

“Good morning Lexa.”

“Did something happen?”

“No, why?”

“Well you called me so-”

“So every time I want to call you there has to be a special reason?” interrupted Clarke

“What no! of course not. I’m just not used to be called without reason.”

“Well get used to it. Besides I had to call you. Can’t write while eating.”

“We don’t have to write if you want to eat unhurriedly.”

“But I want to…” Clarke sounded dejected.

“What’s wrong Clarke?” it was never Lexa’s intention to sound as if she doesn’t want to talk to Clarke.  
  
“I just don’t like being alone, when I don’t want it to be.”

“I’m not sure I can follow.”

“When I’m upset I tend to leave and just stay somewhere alone until I’m ready to deal with it. To clear my head and just… I don’t know. But… I don’t like being alone like this.”  
  
“You mean because Raven isn’t there?”

“Yeah…”

“Does she have to stay for long in the hospital?”

“They want to run a few tests before she can get out. At least a week, I guess.”

“Why don’t you stay with Octavia or something?”

“Nah, she would non stop tease me. Besides I’m going out with her later anyway. I don’t know what we will do but everything is better than being alone all day.”

“Sometimes I think it’s good that I’m more the lone wolf type.”

“Even a wolf should be with it’s pack. Anya already gave me the ‘I’ll kill you if you hurt my sister’ talk. Guess you aren’t as lonely as you think you are.”

“She what?”

“Yeah… and then she told me to give you a chance to date me. I told her of course that you’re not interested anyway. You made it more than clear that you aren’t gay.” if Lexa didn’t know it better she would say that Clarke seemed to be upset by it.

“Can’t they just leave me alone? I know I suck at dating but forcing you to date me...”

“She didn’t forced me to. It was just a friendly reminder that it would be nice to think about it.”

“Still not cool. If we would start dating then I because we both want it. Not my sister.”

“I think it’s quite funny, actually.” Clarke laughed.

“What’s funny about that?”

“Normally you start falling in love, then date, then be in a relationship and after that you get fucking nervous because you don’t know if the family will approve or not.”

“And? I can’t think of a single reason why someone would not like you anyway. What’s so different now?”

“I already finished the final stage! That’s awesome. I mean if it would ever come to that. You know dating each other. Which will not because of reasons, but nevertheless it’s awesome. And… you’ll be surprised… I’m not always nice to be around.”

“Reasons?”

“Dunno, wait… maybe cuz you’re not gay?” explained Clarke unsure.

“That’s all?” Lexa sounded almost relieved.

“Some would think that’s a pretty important reason not to date a girl as a girl you know?” Clarke laughed more.

“True, but I thought there would be more reasons why you wouldn’t want to date me.”

“Oh I could think of some.” snickered Clarke.

“Really? Shot. If I want to shut up my siblings I can need any help I can get.” _‘Or get you_ ’ thought Lexa. _‘Wait, what?’_

“Pff. Always using me. I see, I see.”

“I would never use you Clarke! You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“Chill Lex. I’m just messing with you.” _‘Lex? Did she just called me Lex?’_

“Okay… I just don’t like being used myself. So I wanted to make sure you know that I would never use you.”

“I know, I know. So where were we?”

“Reasons not to date me.”

“I have no idea how you look like.”

“Well brown long curvy hair, 5’5 tall…”

“Just as tall as me, I see.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“What? No. I’m just trying to picture you. I’m more the visual person, you know. It’s way easier for me to have a picture of someone in my head while thinking about them. Besides it means I can easily kiss you all the time. That’s a huge plus.”

“You could kiss someone who’s taller or smaller as well.”

“Sure I could. But I could just pin you against the next wall and fall into you. No need to lean down or up. Or wait for you to do the same. And I still get to be the big spoon.”

“...” Lexa was lost for word as she imagined Clarke kissing her pined against a wall. Just thinking about the blond against her… her lips-

“Lexa?”

“Huh?” answered Lexa finally snapping out of dreamlike thinking.

“You’re so easy.” snickered Clarke again.

“I was just lost in thoughts for a moment.”

“I bet you were.”

“Clarke….”

“Leexaaaaaa~”

“You promised to behave.”

“But it’s so much more fun to make you blush while actually talking. I can even hear you taking deep breaths to lower your heartbeat. it’s so damn cute.”

“Stop mocking me...”

“Someones whinny.”

“Clarke… I hang up.”

“What?? No please! I behave!” almost yelled Clarke into the phone.

“Aww, someones afraid to be left alone?”

“Not funny Lex...”

“What? You’re so clingy. It’s actually quite sweet. I know it’s just because Raven isn’t there, but still...”

“You do know that I would wanted to write and talk to you even if Raven would be here, right? That wouldn’t change a thing.”

“If you say so.”

“Lexa. Really. I like you and that has nothing to do with me having nobody around for a couple of days. I swear.”

“Okay...”

“You know… I would do anything to show you how clingy I really am and give you a really big Griffin-Hug now.”

“A Griffin-Hug?”

“Yep. The best hug ever. Handed over from generation to generation. As the only living successor of the Griffin family I have the responsibility to share this awesome hug with as many people as I can.”

“That sure does sound awesome.” laughed Lexa thinking about Clarke hugging everyone in sight.

“It is. If we ever meet you will get one. I even give you the extra log big Griffin-Hug.”

“I look forward to it.” Lexa grinned from ear to ear at the thought of Clarke hugging her with the same big grin on her face from the picture Anya send her.

“Everyone does.”

“You’re full of yourself Griffin.”

“Nahh I’m just highly qualified in hugs.”

“I see, I see. I have yet to confirm that.”

“You will. I promise.”

“We’ll see about that.”

“We will. But I’m afraid that I have to hang up soon. I promised Raven to keep her company today since O scored a date with your brother.”

“That was just a matter of time. I mean they are both hopelessly in love with each other.”

“Oh, are they?”

“I’m 100% certain, yes. I’ve never saw Lincoln like this.”

“Good to know that Octavia is in good hands then.”

“She is. He would never do something which could hurt someone. Not even to people he don’t know. He’s way to soft for this world.”

“Not everybody can be as bad-ass as your sister. I can’t blame Raven for falling for her. She surely is hot.”

“Considering that she was quite the playboy and got every single one she wanted… yeah I guess your right.”

“I… I don’t want to offend you or your family… but do you think Anya is taking this serious? It’s not like Raven didn’t had a lot of fun as well… I just don’t want to see her heartbroken again, cuz someone thought cheating is a lot of fun.”

“Believe me then I say that my sister is dead serious about Raven. I have no idea how Raven did that, but I can assure you that my sister wouldn’t cheat. Never.”

“Okay. Well I’m sorry to cut this short but I really have to go now.”

“It’s okay. My stomach wants something to eat anyway.”

“Didn’t you eat already?”

“No...”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because you called me.”

“You could have eat while talking or tell me to call later!”

“But I wanted to talk with you...”

“Awwww, you’re so sweet. I really don’t want to leave you, though...”

“Already missing me?” teased Lexa getting more and more confident while talking to Clarke.

“Nahh… I will manage. But I can gladly pass Ravens teasing. Wanna bet how they will force us to meet next time?”

“You deeply hurt my feelings Griffin. And as for the meeting part. We should expect the worst.”

“I’m sorry commander. I try to be more respectful next time.”

“We both know that this is a lie.”  
  
“True. Anyway. I really have to go, but promise to write, k?”

“I will. Now go and greet Raven from me.”

“Will do. Bye Lex.”

“Good bye Clarke.”

 

_‘I really shouldn’t get to attached this fast...’_  
  
\---

 

“Ravennnnnnnn” whined Clarke. “Can we please not talk about her?”

“No Princess! We seriously have to talk about Lexa!” answered Raven who asks the most stupid questions about her since Clarke came to visit her. “You didn’t wanted to date for soooooo long. I really want you to be happy. We just want to make sure you know what you’re doing here.”

“What do you mean?” Clarke wasn’t sure if she can follow Raven’s train of thoughts.

“Is Lexa someone special or just something to have fun with?” asked Raven bluntly.

“What the fuck Raven! We’re talking about a human being not some toy!” even the thought of thinking about using Lexa for fun made Clarke angry.  
  
“That’s why I ask idiot! You never open up easily. Not even to us! If you would be more open minded we wouldn’t have to tease everything out of you. You know, Anya showed me those pictures. I know that smile Clarke. Stop bullshiting me. What do you plan to do with this girl?!?”

“Why do you even care? That’s non of your business!”

“I’m your best friend! It totally is my god damn business! Now tell me how you meet her. I really wanna know.” told her Raven enthusiastic.

“We meet online, that’s it.”

“Oh common. Don’t leave the juicy details, Griffin. How did you meet online?” whined Raven.

“Through a dating website for lesbians and bisexuals. Anya and her brother Lincoln made Lexa an account and forced her to write with girls.”

“And you happen to be that girl? How come you’re even on a website like this? No offense, but I’m sure there are more than enough people out there who would want to date you instantly. I get that you would want to try woman after this jerkface, but...”

“I don’t want to date. All I want is someone fun to write with and made that always clear right from the start. Well that’s what I wanted.”

“Wanted? So you want more than just writing now?”

“I think it just bugs me that everyone except me knows Lexa, you know? It’s not like I didn’t enjoyed writing with her, but knowing how they all know Lexa… I’m not sure if that’s the only reason, though.”

“Why else would you?”

“They describe her so different from what I thought she is. Like she is so damn caring and sweet to me all the time while O and Bell are telling me she’s terrifying. That’s just not matching up. And then there is Anya who tries to tell me that Lexa just gets easily misunderstood and… I don’t know. I’m just really curious.”

“So you want to see if Lexa is different around you? Like she is treating you special while giving O and Bell the cold shoulder?”

“I… I don’t know what Anya already told you. Hell, I didn’t even know you two were dating! Just know that Lexa didn’t had the easiest life and I admire her for her strength to move on like this. I mean I don’t pity her or anything, but I want to be there for her. Anyway. What is that will with Anya about? Hm???” Clarke tried to change the topic since she didn’t know herself what to think about Lexa and herself.

“Ohhmm… Anya and I.. we’re… I think dating.” answered the now flustered Raven.  
  
“You think?”

“I don’t know. I guess? It was pretty shitty… and… complicated...”

“Cut the shit and start telling me the whole story Raven. You roasted me about Lexa now it’s my turn.”

“We… You know that I’ve done some shitty things, right? A whole lot of one-night-stands and so an… Well Anya used to be one of them. Well that’s what I wanted it to be.”

“But it wasn’t?”

“No… It was always just sex, you know. I didn’t sleep with them again because why would I? I mean I already got what I wanted. It was always weird with Anya. I was already attracted to her, but never had the balls to approach her. Me! Raven fucking Reyes!! The others told me about her. She was kind of like me. Never wanted to get attached to someone and didn’t slept more than once with them. The problem was that I never saw her with a girl before. She always got boys, but than I saw her flirting with a girl and even kissed her! I snapped and was just like fuck it. I drunk way more then I should to get the confidence to even talk to her… The rest should be clear.” Raven was clearly embarrassed what was totally new to Clarke.

“Wait, she kissed another girl, but then she slept with you? How?”

“How? Well she took my off my clo-”

“Raven! I fucking know how sex works! I want to know how you happen to get her while she clearly had someone else!” interrupted Clarke not wanting to know how Raven has sex. Just thinking about it was gross.

“Easy. I told that girl to back off and grasped Anya’s hand and left the bar.”

“Just like that? Are you serious?”

“Of course I did! If I want something I get it! Raven’s ultimate rule number one.”

“I… I don’t even know what to say, but did Anya just let you do that?”

“That was the surprising part. She let me get her out but I didn’t know what to do after that. I couldn’t bring her home with me cuz I knew that you would have been home. But I also knew that Anya never took someone home before. Never. They actually bet on who will be the first to get home with her. I was lost and just stood outside deciding what to do, but then she just held my hand tighter and started walking. Speaking of that, I still have to get the bet price. I mean I totally won that bet, didn’t I?” laughed Raven.

“Seriously? You can’t tell me that you weren’t at that bar since then. That would mean you met Anya what? Two weeks ago? And knowing in what pain you we’re I’m sure you weren’t able to have sex more than one week ago.”

“I wasn’t…”

“But you went out even more than nor-. Wait. Did you meet Anya all the time? Your telling me she is the reason you ditched me for weeks???? And didn’t even dared to tell me you were seeing someone?” Clarke got slightly angry at this. Why didn’t Raven told her that sooner?

“It was complicated.. I”

“You what? I thought we were best friends. And there is Bell bringing your girlfriend right to you. Why the fuck does he even know, but O and I not? What the hell is wrong with you guys! First O isn’t telling me about her boyfriend and now even you?” Clarke was now beyond angry. Her two best friends didn’t trusted her enough to let her know about there love interest. _‘That fucking hurts.’_ thought Clarke.

“What? No! That wasn’t my intention! I didn’t even know if Anya and I were a thing! Actually I went to her and ended things 2 weeks ago. Well I wanted but Anya didn’t gave me the chance to do so.” Raven almost seems desperate not knowing how to calm Clarke.

“Explain.”

“Okay.. I slept a couple of times with her. For months… Well but we never really talked or an anything. It was supposed to be just sex, but I wanted more. And.. more… I couldn’t stop. So I stopped leaving her before she wakes up and waited for her to kick me out… she never did. She even made me breakfast like… like a couple would do. Soon my leg started to hurt again, like you know. Still I went to meet her and have sex even than it hurts. Do you know what she did? She noticed and stopped. She fucking cared for me. I’m sure she didn’t even know my name all this time because I never told her. I didn’t told her anything. But she just knows. I have no idea but she just… understands me. Didn’t questioned me… but she couldn’t bring herself to continue while I was pain. Normally she would just go slow or hold me. Even kissing my scars and hugged me tight until I fall asleep despite the pain. She never asked why I have this scars. Never gave me a bad feeling about it… So… I got the results… I know that I had to do the surgery no matter what… However this also meant that I had to stop what was between me and Anya… I was about sex… How could she want to continue even though I will not be able to have sex for weeks from now on. I though it was the best to have sex for a last time. To get a clear cut. For me… Didn’t work.”

“What do you mean? Didn’t work?”

“It was extremely painful to even move… So we started but she soon stopped. I couldn’t take the pain anymore and she noticed it. From the beginning she asked if I’m sure everything is okay like she always does. However this time she just stopped for good. Told me that I should stop hurting myself and that she can’t do that anymore. So I run… Bell happened to pick me up… That’s the only reason he knows and O and you not. Nothing more. I didn’t told you because I thought that this is over anyway… Both of you would have told me to stop this even sooner. That it wouldn’t be good for me to give my heart to someone like this again. But I fall for her anyway. I couldn’t stop it… I still didn’t wanted to see her again… Bell just brought her here. I didn’t even know it… And then we talked alone and yeah… We almost kissed but fucking Jasper disturbed us. I’m still angry at this, though. After this she gave me her phone number and we’re writing since then. It’s… It’s nice. I know that you don’t want me to be hurt again and that this, what ever this is, could end badly but-”

“Raven. It’s okay.” interrupted Clarke Raven. “I mean I’m sure I would have told you to stop this, but after meeting Anya I know that this is something serious. She was looking at you door like she would die to get in there to see you. It’s easy to say that you both have feelings for each other. Aside from what Lexa already told me of course.” snickered Clarke knowing that Raven would die to know what Lexa told her.

“Wait, what did Lexa told you???”

“Noootthhhinnggg~”

“Common Griffin! That’s not fair!” whined Raven.

“Life is a bitch. You know that, deal with it.” Clarke grinned finally getting at least some revenge.

“Do you have Lexa’s phone number?”

“Yeah, why?” but Raven didn’t answer it. Raven just took her own phone out and started to do something with it. Clarke just thought that she was writing Anya something to get to know what Lexa knows about them. Using her now free time she was checking her phone for any new massages.

 

**Lexa:** Her there, hope Raven doesn’t grill you as much as Anya is grilling me.  
**Lexa:** Seriously they really want to set us up badly.  
**Lexa:** I think she just tried to get us to meet at your workplace. Anya never invited me to coffee before. Especially in the coffee shop you’re working in. I’m even sure that she was never there.  
**Lexa:** I have no idea what you did but Anya clearly likes you. She always hated anyone I liked so far. Well… she does hate nearly anyone anyway.  
**Lexa:** If she continues like this for the next days I get mad. Even Lincoln starts to write me.  
**Lexa:** According to all his first date ideas Octavia sure is a lucky girl.  
**Lexa:** Anya just gave me a list with reasons why I should be interested in girls.  
**Lexa** : They really try to turn me gay for good and I have no idea if o should be offended or not.

 

Clarke was laughing hard but didn’t even get to answer any of those messages before Raven start talking.  
Surprisingly but not to her.

 

“Hey Clarke. I thought your at the hospital? How’s Raven?” said someone who definitely sounded like Lexa.  
  
“Hey there. I’m good. Bored to death but Clarke is surely a good distraction.” answered Raven plainly.

“You’re not Clarke.”

“Great job detective. I’m said Raven. Nice to finally be able to talk to you as well.”

“I figured, but how did you called me in Clarke’s name? Did you steal her phone or something?” Lexa was still calmly asking questions.

 

Clarke just sit there shocked at what is happening now. _‘Wait, in my name? But I have my phone right her in my hands. Oh no. She didn’t’_

“Did you just fucking hacked my phone?!?” yelled Clarke making even Lexa hearing her.

“Well yeah. You wouldn’t gave me your phone freely.” answered Raven as if that was the obvious answer.

“The fuck? You can’t just do that! What did you also do?” Clarke was angry shouting while Lexa was still quite.

“Oh just the normal. Downloaded your chat protocol to have something to read, you know.”

“YOU DID NOT!!! I FUCKING KILL YOU!!!”

“Woohoo chill Griffin. I’m just fucking with you. I just looked up Lexa’s number. I swear.”

“You just took her number? JUST? Raven that’s not funny! I don’t care if you tease me but this is not just about me and I swear if-”

“Clarke. It’s okay. She’s my sister girlfriend. It’s not like she wouldn’t have my number soon anyway.” interrupted Lexa calmly like nothing happened.

“I… I’m her girlfriend?” asked Raven surprised and unsure.

“Is that a question?” Lexa sounded now confused.

“Yeah… I mean… I. Uhh….” stuttered Raven nervously.

“If you all would stop trying to set up me and Clarke then all of you would have more time to talk about your own relationship problems.” Lexas sight made Clarke chuckle.

“Yeah.. I get that but.. ohmm.. did she told you.. did she told you I’m her girlfriend or-”

“I’m not you, Raven. I don’t plan on interfering into others relationships more than I have to. This is clearly something you two have to discuss. Not me, Clarke or anybody else. It would be appreciated if you would do the same, though.”

“But I-”

“No buts. That’s non of your concern. Whatever Clarke and I wants to do is our own decision. Not yours. Never was, never will.”

“I’m sorry.” it almost shocked Clarke that Lexa made Raven actually apologize.

“I don’t want to sound ungrateful since I’m sure all of you just want to help, but you can’t force Clarke to date me just like that.” _‘There it is again. She always thinks about others first...’_ thought Clarke not wanting to disturb them.

“And what about you?” asked Raven.

“What do you mean?”

“We tease you just as much, but still you only voiced your concern regarding Clarke. Nothing about how you feel because of this. You weren’t even mad that I just hacked your phone number. Guess Anya way right. You really do like Clarke already.” snickered Raven grinning at a now red faced Clarke.  
  
“I- uh. No. I mean of course I like her but-” stammered Lexa failing to act cool after Ravens assertion.

“So we could only force Clarke? Interesting.” giggled Raven now

“What? You can’t just take the words out of my mouth like this!” nearly screamed Lexa trying to not sound to desperate.

“Time to turn the tables bitches.” said Raven with her typical evil laugh.

“Stop teasing Lexa, Raven. That’s not fair.” tried Clarke to interfere.  
  
“Please stay out of this Clarke. This is my fight.” replied Lexa commanding which surprised Clarke. Until now Lexa was always sweet and caring but never showed this side of her.  
  
“Wohooo that’s the Lexa I wanted to meet. Now I finally see what O told me about.” Raven seemed to be fully in her element now, while Clarke done as told. _‘Did she just nicely asked me to shut up?’_

“She should have never made fun of my coffee order in the first place.”

“Oh someone knows how to hold a grudge because of stupid reasons.”

“I don’t think it’s advisable to work in a coffee shop without respecting the costumers wishes. That’s not recommended in the economic sense of way.”

“What the fuck. Don’t tell me Clarke got herself an uptight businesswoman.”

“Even worst. I’m about to become a lawyer.”

“Oh gosh. That sure is worst. You can skip the ‘never hurt my sister’ than speech. Got it. Don’t wanna find my ass in prison.”

“Then I suggest you leave Clarke and me alone as well.”  
  
“Okay, but know that I will make you fucking go boom as well if you ever even think of hurting our little princess here.” warned Raven.

“I would never hurt Clarke willingly Raven” assured her Lexa.

“Good. So no juicy details for me? Nothing? Common guys! I was the last to even know about you two. That’s not fair!”

“You are truly annoying. I promise you that, if ever something happens between Clarke and me, for what ever reason, you will be the first to know. Good enough? But stop that intense teasing then.” suggest Lexa not wanting to discuss her and Clarke’s relationship any longer.

“Even before your own sister or brother?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t know about him but she will hate that.”

“I know.”

“You got yourself a deal commander.”

“Of course Anya tells you about that nickname first.”

“She even told me about your little gang. What was it called? Natblida or something? Must be cute seeing you followed by this cute little kids like a real queen.” you could only hear Clarke start laughing at the image.

“You know I really wanted for Anya to be with you but I start to doubt that this was a good idea.” told her Lexa clearly embarrassed.

“Don’t be so uptight. Chill your life commander. It’s cute.”

“Anyway, I’m afraid I need to hang up. I really have some studies to do. Sorry.” apologized Lexa.

“Wow. Such a nerd. Just like Clarke. You really are made for each other.” chuckled Raven poking Clarke who got red again.

“Yeah… ohm… I better go now. Bye Raven. Bye Clarke.”

“I see why Clarke has her fun with you now. But I will shut up like promised. Bye Lexa.” said Raven and hang up the call after Clarke said her goodbye as well.

  
  
“Sooo… Lexa and you~”

“You promised to leave us alone.”

“Yeah, yeah. I just want you to know that she’s a good girl. Don’t give up so easily on this one.”

“Can’t I just be friends with someone? I’m friends with you even after we both dated the same gay. At the same time. What’s so different about Lexa?”

“Yes, but don’t run away from the possibility to have more than this. I know that Finn wasn’t the best experience and I know that it was fucking hard to… to let someone else in… you know… to trust someone… love… and Lexa, well we just want to see you happy again. She did make you laugh, that’s more enough reason for us. Not many people get to make you laugh anymore.”

“Ohh does my Raven turned into a cute little lovesick puppy? I just have no desire to date anyone soon, you know? Not like I would have much time beside med-school anyway.”

“As sadly as it is… I think I really am. Anya makes me happy. I mean she’s a total bitch but so am I.”

“Awww how cute.”

“Shut up Griffin. You will regret telling yourself not to date.”

“I already told you thousand times that Lexa isn’t even gay. Can’t you just leave us alone? I just like her as a friend, god damn it.” asked Clarke annoyed.

“You can be pretty convincing if you want something.” giggled Raven.

Clarke only laughed while Raven soon fall asleep because of her painkillers.

 

–

It wasn’t long until Clarke was already back home letting Raven get the rest she needs. Raven had to stay at least a week from now before she could come back home. Not like Clarke wouldn’t enjoy haven their home for herself alone, but it sure got silent really fast.  
After getting herself something to drink and eat she decided to follow Lexas lead and tried to study a bit.  
Clarke always got good grades and wanted to keep it that way. Her mother was always really strict if it comes to school and soon convinced Clarke to become a doctor just like herself. Sadly Clarke didn’t know for long if she really wanted to become like her mother. It’s not like she didn’t like being a doctor but this was always her mothers dream. Raven changed all of it for her. After the accident she vowed that she would do anything to help people like her best friend. To find next techniques to help this people even more. She would do what ever it needs to help as much people as possible. But now with Raven in the hospital she didn’t seem to get enough sleep to actually function probably. Thinking that she need to take a break she checked her phone for any new massages.  
  
**O’ to the Blake:** Yo Grif, you find your ticked as promised in your mailbox. I’m sorry that I don’t know if I can be there on time! Really am! But I will get something to drink and popcorn for us. Till later ;D

 

_‘Like you’re ever punctual._ ’ it took Clarke 3 meeting with Octavia until she decided that O just can’t seem to come in time. Like really never. Since then she comes herself later or get ticket for both of us but already goes in, without waiting at all. It becomes a habit and Clarke didn’t seem to mind anymore. Plus every time Octavia comes late she got something to drink and eat for free. That was surely something Clarke didn’t mind at all.  
  
**Lexa:** Still with Raven?  
**Lexa:** I want new siblings... What them?  
**Lexa:** Why did I wanted to become a lawyer again?

 

Clarke chuckled again. She didn’t had any siblings herself but she always thought that I must be like with the Blakes and Raven. Not like she doesn’t love them, but they sure can annoy the hell out of her.  
  
**Clarke:** Nope. I’m home now. Just waiting to go out with Octavia. And I question that myself as well most of the times.

**Lexa:** Good to know I’m not alone.

**Clarke:** Didn’t you wanted to study?

**Lexa:** That was the plan… I just had to go anyway soon. Bonding session with Anya.

**Clarke:** I hope you two have fun than :D  
  
**Lexa** : Same for you and Octavia. Want to talk afterwards?

**Clarke:** Huh? You. You of all people want to talk? I remember someone telling me she doesn’t talk much. I really must be special.

**Lexa:** That’s just what I promised you last night.

**Clarke:** Promised me?

**Lexa:** Yeah. I had to promise you to talk with you all the days after tomorrow. You don’t wanted to sleep before I did that.

**Clarke** : I did not! Gosh! My sleepy self is so embarrassing. You don’t have to do that.

**Lexa:** I want to. I likes talking to you so it’s no problem.  
  
**Clarke:** Really? Okay. But if I get on your nerves or don’t want to then just tell me. It’s fine. I wouldn’t get mad.  
  
**Lexa:** I will. Sorry but I have to go now. Until later Clarke. Have fun with Octavia.  
  
**Clarke:** You too Lexa. Until later  <3

Looking at the clock she noticed that she had to get ready soon again. Changing into comfy gray jeans and a blue shirt she got her ticket and left her home.

 

It took her 15minutes to reach the cinema by foot and just now looked what movie they are actually watching.  
_‘Friend Request, okay? Whats that? Well let’s see.’_ thought Clarke. After seeing the huge queue she was glad that Octavia wanted to get popcorn and something to drink. Deciding to go in she searched in the already dark room for the right seats. Just now she noticed that Octavia seemed to booked a love-seat for them. _‘Why did she do that? Maybe it was cheaper?’_  
Not thinking for long why Octavia would do that, because it’s useless to try to understand Octavia’s actions most of the time, she just moved around until she found the right seat.

She saw from a long distance that their seat seemed to be already taken. _‘What a great start.’_ Clarke was now walking towards some girl who was on her seat. The closer she come, the more she realized how beautiful this girl was. She wasn’t laughing and actually looked a bit stiff, but still really good. Now standing right before her she noticed her long curvy brown hair and her strong attitude.  
Clarke wasted quite some time to try finding out which eye color the girl had. It was to dark to actually see it but she was sure they had to be just as beautiful. What was surprising is that the girl seemed to stare at Clarke just as much. Suddenly Clarke felt the air get hotter and hotter. The stranger eyes were like magnets for her. She just couldn’t look away. Clarke knows that she had to talk eventually. It still was her seat this girl was sitting on. No matter how gorgeous this girl looked like, she still want’s to sit there. But the girls looked changed rapidly from in awe to surprised and finally into fear? Or was she shy? Clarke wasn’t sure what just happened that made this girls attitude changed so much. The whole body seemed to tense now and Clarke didn’t know why. She doesn’t wanted to make this girl even more uncomfortable so she tried to speak, but this girl seemed to be faster.

 

“Clarke?” it was a simple word. No, not a word. Her name. How does this stranger know her name? She surely wouldn’t forget someone as good looking as her. And why does her voice sound so familiar? The way she says her name. The strong ‘K’ sound at the beginning. _‘No this can’t be-’_

“What-” started the girl clearly unsure what to say. “What are you doing here?”

“Holy shit”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chap the date from Lexas site :D
> 
> Prepare yourself for extremly fluff.  
> This will almost get disgusting xD
> 
> Love ya all <3  
> \+ nex pic for ya <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first 'date'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay...  
> My surgery didn't went as planed…  
> But I’m better now~  
> Next chapter will come up in the next days. I promise. 
> 
> \+ 2 pictures for you, because I didn’t liked the first one xD

 

 

Even though Lexa knew that she had to study it was really hard to concentrate. She didn’t like how they all want to force her to something, while she didn’t even know if she wanted it herself. Sure Clarke was an amazing person so far, but that doesn’t mean that she has to instantly marry her or something. Not like Clarke would want to date anyone in general as well. All of this doesn’t mean as much as all her friends wants it to be. The only reason her heartbeat got faster whenever she saw Clarke’s pictures, was just because Clarke happens to be a beautiful girl. That has nothing to do with feelings or being attracted to her. Doesn’t it? That’s a totally normal reaction!  
Without thinking she already reached again for her phone. She never was one of those addicted kids who can’t live without being available non stop, however since she was writing with Clarke, she found herself more then often on her phone without reason.

 

 **Anya:** Don’t forget to come today! I swear I will be fucking mad if you ditch me again.

To Anya’s credit she often tells her that she can’t come lately. The school was way more work than she first thought. Doesn’t mean that it was fair to ditch her sister that often. Maybe she should consider meeting her sister more than twice a month.  
  
**Lexa:** I swear that I will be there. You blackmailed me, remember?

 **Anya:** Just wanted to make sure. I never knew what your little head is up to. Probably never will.

 **Lexa** : Maybe it’s better this way.

 **Anya** : Any other way would be weird

 

Sadly she didn’t had any messages from Clarke. _‘Hmm… let’s see if she has some time for me.’_

Luckily Clarke seemed to be just as bored as she was. After deciding that they will talk later on, Lexa started to get ready for the movie night with her sister. She was always someone who preferred to be early, so it didn’t surprised her that Anya wasn’t already there. Anya also told her that she will be probably late anyway. After getting something to drink and eat for them she made her way towards their seats.  
  
_‘Loveseats? Really?’_ not that she mind cuddling with her sister. Okay, it was a bit weird, but still wouldn’t be that bad. What was surprising, is that her sister wasn’t someone to normally cuddle with. ‘Maybe she won the tickets?’

Deciding that Anya will explain that later on anyway she sat down and waited. A look on her phone told her that she was still 5minutes to early. 10 minutes later Anya was still not there, but she already got her free share of stupid adds. She checked her phone again for any massages from Anya, but still nothing. _‘She will come soon’_ thought Lexa optimistic. From the poster outside she could that this movie must be something about social media. She didn’t know what kind but just from the look it was hopefully not a horror movie. Knowing her sister it does have to be at least a bit scary.

 

It’s wasn’t much later that someone come her way. That person seemed to stared at her for some reasons. She couldn’t see who this person was, because it was already dark but this person came straight her way. The nearer the person come the more Lexa could see. The person was clearly a girl with a really nice body, as she must admit. She had long curvy hair and Lexa really wanted to figure out which color they hard. ‘ _I_ _t had to be something bright’_ thought Lexa still not looking away. The girl seemed to didn’t mind that, since she was looking at Lexa just as much.

‘ _Does she know me?’_ Lexa started to get uncomfortable, since the girl was now almost in front of her. It couldn’t be because of the seats. She checked them 3 times before actually siting down. _‘what’s her problem than?’_

The moment this girl was really in front of her Lexa had to take a deep breath. A really fucking deep breath.  
It almost shocked Lexa how both of them just stared at each other. Nobody said anything but didn’t dared to look away either. The only problem was that Lexa exactly knew who was in front of her, while the other probably not.  
Should she say something? Should she wait until Clarke starts talking? Starts anything instead of just staring at her. And how the hell was Clarke even able to be more beautiful in person?

 

Clarke was still looking her straight in the eyes, but didn’t show any emotion Lexa was able to decipher. Was it wonder? Was she confused? What was Clarke thinking? Deciding that this can’t go on like this for ever, Lexa build up the courage to speak up.  
  
“Clarke?” Lexa wasn’t sure why she needed to put Clarke’s name into a question. She was 100% sure that this, in fact, was Clarke. So she asked what she really wanted to know. “What-” she stopped for a second than she saw a twitch in Clarke’s eyes, but finished her actually question. “What are you doing here?”  
Clarke eyes were now wide open, clearly in shock. Lexa on the other hand was still looking at her in disbelieve.  
‘ _Maybe I’m just dreaming this?’_ thought Lexa still unsure how all of this even happened.  
“Holy shit” was all Clarke responded which wasn’t surprising for Lexa at all, since it was pretty much what Lexa though herself. But how should she react now? Clarke just started the staring match again what makes Lexa even more uncomfortable.

 

Both of them didn’t noticed that the movie was already starting.  
“Hey Blondie, go sit down next to your fucking date and stop standing in the way. I didn’t pay for this tickets to see ya.” yelled a man behind Lexa. Lexa instantly went bright red. Not just because she felt embarrassed, but also because he said ‘date’. _‘Get yourself together, Lexa. Don’t start being weird! This isn’t even a real date! You’re sister planed this! Clarke didn’t even know it!’_ she thought now looking away, not wanting Clarke to see her completely red. Clarke on the other hand gave the man behind them an angry glare and quickly sat down next to Lexa.  
  
“Hey” Clarke was this time the first to speak, still looking at Lexa and totally ignoring the movie.  
“Hello Clarke” replied Lexa unsure of what to say. Does Clarke really know who she is? Maybe she should clarify this before it gets even more uncomfortable for both of them. “I’m-”  
“I know who you are.” interrupted Clarke. “I-”

 

“What the hell is wrong with you gurls? I still wanna see that god damn movie so you better shut the fuck up, okay?” yelled the man from behind again which made both of them instantly shut up. Both of them still didn’t pay any attention to the movie. Lexa saw Clarke moving a bit to get something out of her bag. Finally finding what she was searching, she hold up her phone to Lexa in order to show her what her plan was.  
“I fucking swear that, if you even think about writing her now with that fucking bright screen of yours, I will cut that phone in half.” of course that man was still mad at them. Not that Lexa could blame him, since he had every right to want to watch the movie undisturbed. It’s clearly not his fault that Lexa and Clarke have jerks as friends and had to meet under this circumstances.

Clarke seemed to be taken back by this man. She didn’t tried to challenge him even further, but didn’t seemed willing to give up as well. In Lexa’s opinion it was kind of cute how Clarke didn’t want to give up, however she has no idea what else to do. It wasn’t just the way Clarke frowns and seemed to be in her own little world thinking about possible solutions. Or the way she bits her lower lip. Or the way she couldn’t hold her hands still. Or the way she was still looking at Lexa in such an instance way. Or-

 

Without any warning Clarke took one of Lexa’s hands into her own. Lexa instinctive flinched her hand away, but instantly regret it as she saw Clarke’s shocked look. It’s not like she wouldn’t want Clarke hold her hand, she just didn’t expected it. Clarke on the other hand looked at her in hurt. Like she thinks that she done something terrible wrong even if it was just taking Lexa’s hand. Before Clarke was able to apologize Lexa already made up her fault. Now she was the one who reached for Clarke’s hand, though slowly so that Clarke knew what was coming. Clarke looked grateful knowing that she didn’t done anything wrong and meet Lea’s hand half way. Now Lexa only had to wonder why Clarke wanted to hold Lexa’s hand in the first place. It couldn’t be because this was a date or something like that. Or? There couldn’t be a single reason why Clarke would want anything to do with Lexa in this way anyway. Both of them made it clear that they didn’t want to date the other. Even if Lexa found her questioning this decision way to often already.

 

Clarke was now smiling again and took Lexas right hand in her right was well. _‘How can her hand be sooooo soft? How is that even possible?’_ thought Lexa following Clarke’s left hand pointing at there joined hands. Lexa didn’t had to wait long to find out why Clarke wouldn’t use her left hand, since this would be way more comfortable for Clarke. Clarke turned their hands so that Lexas back of the hand was facing them. With the other hand she pointed again at their hands and then start writing something of the back of Lexa’s hand. _‘Ah shes left handed. That explains it’._

Lexa was now trying to focus on Clarke’s finger softly roaming her hand in order to write words. _‘I bet it feels really nice to be caressed by her.’_ Clarke must me sensing that Lexa was thinking about something else and added a bit more pressure, which made Lexa focus again. Clarke had written ‘ok?’. Not knowing what Clarke wanted to say with it, she gave Clarke a confused look. Clarke seemed to catch her questioning look and pointed again at their hands. Finally getting that Clarke just wanted to make sure if it’s okay for Lexa to hold hands she nodded her consents.

Just as Clarke wanted to start writing again they both were startled by screams. With one look at the screen they both realized that this was indeed a horror movie. While Lexa just stared at the screen in horror, Clarke on the other hand clung on Lexa for her dear life. _‘Of course Anya had to pick this kind of movie.’_ Not that Lexa would mind it that Clarke pressed herself tightly against her, but Lexa would still prefer it, if that wasn’t just the case because Clarke was scared. Sadly Clarke quickly recovered and let go of Lexa again with an apologizing look. Lexa simply smiled a bit and hoped that it was dark enough to cover her blushing cheeks. Just than Clarke wanted to say something again the man behind them coughs loud as some kind of warning. After Lexa saw Clarke and the guy exchanging angry glares, Clarke focused on Lexas hand again. She simply wrote ‘later’ and than used her hand to signal talking. At that Lexa nodded and followed Clarke’s focus to the screen after placing the popcorn and the coke between them.  
  
Maybe they should have payed a bit more attention to the movie, because it doesn’t made any sense for Lexa so far. Considering Clarke’s confused look she had problems understanding the plot as well. After a few minutes the only thing that Lexa really got was that it was about a curse in combination with facebook. Even if that sound kind of strange, it definitely was thrilling to watch. Scary on some parts, but still really interesting. Clarke on the other hand doesn’t seemed as thrilled as Lexa was. Actually she felt Clarke flinch more than once. The more the movie gone on the more she felt Clarke getting closer again. At some point she even had her hand on Lexa’s shoulder and hold her tight against herself.  
  
She could deal with brushing Clarke’s hands almost every time she took some popcorn. She could even deal with having Clarke’s hand on her shoulder. What made it really hard to deal with, was that Clarke’s front was now completely pressed against her side. How was she supposed to concentrate on the movie while having Clarke completely snuggling up to her? Lexa never was one to cuddle. Actually was the completely opposite of a touchy-feely person. Anya was the first she let through her walls, followed by her foster parents. Still Anya was the only one she really let’s near her. Not like anyone wants to hug her anyway. It was still kind of strange how natural it feels to have Clarke near her even if something felt odd. Maybe it wasn’t as odd as it was just unknown for Lexa? This wasn’t what it feels like than Anya is close to her. So what is different now?

 

The more she thought about it the more she felt herself getting redder and redder. Meanwhile the movie gone on and Lexa was still trying to focus on the movie. Really trying. She had really no idea, if she should thank Anya now or hate her even more. On one hand it was really nice getting to know Clarke. It was even nicer to have her so close to her, but how should she face Clarke after the movie? What should she say? What if Clarke didn’t like her? All her dates gone to god damn wrong that it was almost 100% sure that this would be as well. _‘Wait. Date? This is not a date! Woman up Lexa! You can do this! You’re just friends! Are we? What the hell should I do?’_  
  
\---

 

What Lexa didn’t know was that Clarke was looking at Lexa more than once during the film to check up on her. She surely know what she can do with her friends, but didn’t know Lexa’s limits. She knows that Lexa isn’t a real social person, however didn’t know if that includes that she can’t stand being physically close to them as well. If Lexa was uncomfortable she didn’t show that until now. Well in fact she didn’t show any real emotions anyway. All she got was that Lexa seemed to flinch away a bit every time their hands meet or she gets a bit closer to Lexa. But she never pulled back completely or made it known that she doesn’t want that in general. She didn’t even look away from the screen. It felt like Lexa wasn’t even the slightest interested in Clarke. What bugged Clarke was that she didn’t know if she likes that or not. Not that she wants Lexa to feel uncomfortable around her, but being ignored like that wasn’t nice as well. _‘We only just meet. For the first fucking time!’_ thought Clarke. Lexa should be interested in Clarke, shouldn’t she?

 

So Clarke pushed her luck. Knowing that they are indeed watching a horror movie she used it to her advantage. It’s not like she wouldn’t normally getting scared as well. That is if she would watch the movie at all, what she isn’t. To her defense, how could she if Lexa was so much more interesting?  
First she just made her hand more often meet Lexas while picking Popcorn, even nearly grasping for the whole hand. Still no reaction.  
When she notices that others seem to cuddle up, because of the scary parts of the movie she did the same. As long as Lexa would think that Clarke only does it due to the fact she’s scared as well, everything should be fine. At first she just pressed her shoulder softly against Lexa’s. Sadly Lexa seemed to only tense up shortly, but nothing more. Then she leaned her side completely against Lexas. Still nothing. It did crossed Clarke’s mind that she shouldn’t enjoy this as much as she did already. Showing Lexa that she may be just a tiny bit gay was still way to much fun, though. _‘A little bit of fun can’t hurt.’_ thought Clarke smiling.  
It felt actually nice to be near Lexa, as Clarke must admit. Lexa was quite warm and had the ideal high for Clarke. She could easily lay her head down on Lexa’s shoulder and would be perfectly cozy. Probably would even sleep within seconds. How can someone like her have such a bad dating record? Okay, she was quite and was holing back her emotions, but not in a bad way. Nothing wrong with it.  
  
While thinking about Lexa she actually watched the movie for a bit and even if she didn’t get much, it sure was scary. So scary that she didn’t noticed that she was now entirely pressed against Lexa’s body and even had her hand on her shoulder in order to press Lexa even harder against her. Or get even closer to Lexa. Not that it mattered as long as they were close. The worst part was that she didn’t even noticed that she indeed now got a reaction from Lexa. The moment she turned around to look at Lexa, she only saw Lexa looking back at the screen, but looked slightly uncomfortable. She neither looked scared, nor looked like she did before. Lexa’s lips were tightly pressed together, her eyes unfocused and her whole body stiff as a rock.  
Noticing Lexa’s clearly discomfort Clarke instantly let go. That’s really wasn’t what she wanted to do.  
Even after Clarke pulled back and tried to get some space between them, Lexa was still holding completely still. It worried Clarke that this was all to much for Lexa and blamed herself for it. Lexa told her that she isn’t a social person and she still decided to push Lexa way beyond her comfort zone. Even though it wasn’t Clarke’s intention to cuddle up like that, she blamed herself all the same.  
  
There wasn’t something Clarke could do now, or could she? She could get hold of Lexa’s hand again and start handwriting again, but that would mean that Lexa may get even stiffer. Should she just wait until Lexa was somehow responding? Moving? Speaking? Anything?  
  
_‘What the fuck am I supposed to do now?’_

 

–

 

Lexa was so lost in thoughts that she didn’t even noticed that Clarke moved away. All she could think about was how to correctly react to Clarke’s behavior. Should she lean against her? Should she cuddle as well? What was she supposed to do?  
Slowly she noticed the lack or warmth against her side. The missing hand on her shoulder. Actually she just now got that Clarke was separating herself from her. Did she done something wrong?  
  
On look to her side was enough for Lexa to know that she in fact did something wrong. Clarke was looking at her in worry and Lexa had not a single clue why she does that. There was no reason for Clarke to look at her like that, or was Lexa acting strange? Did she offend Clarke in any sort of way? Knowing that she was probably to blame, she slowly pointed at Clarke’s hand to ask if she could hold it again. Clarke softly nodded waiting for Lexa to get the hand this time herself. No half way meeting, no encouraging smile. Nothing.  
Obliviously to this situation Lexa was grasping for Clarke’s hand anyway. Although Lexa didn’t know what she did to make Clarke act this way, she still thought that it would be better to apologize than doing nothing.

Therefore she slowly wrote the word ‘sorry’ which made Clarke look at her funny. First she looked stunned, which turned into a confused look quite fast and ended in total disbelieve.

Clarke seemed to catch up on Lexa confusion and was now shaking her head. Sadly Lexa appeared to be still lost. At least Clarke was now slightly smiling again. Then she pointed at herself and than at her own hand. ‘ _She is sorry? For what? Did I miss_ _ed_ _something?’_ thought Lexa unsure of what happened, while she was lost in her own little dream world.  
  
The even more confused look from Lexa made Clarke snickering. Of course the man from behind them was again coughing loudly to interrupt them. This time however the man didn’t looked just at Clarke, but also at Lexa. If Lexa was really good at something, then it was at making people shut up. Sometimes Lexa cursed herself for being like this. Other times she think it’s also beneficial considering her job desire. It may not help making friends, but it surely helps as a lawyer. Asides from that she mostly got what she wanted. After being left alone for so long in her life, she didn’t even bothered to want people around her. As long as you don’t have people dear to you, you also have no people who can hurt you. Now, however, Lexa is questioning this concept. She can trust Anya. She can trust her foster parents Indra and Gustus. She is sure that she can even trust others as well. Especially Clarke, even if she doesn’t know why she think she can. She just know it.

 

Changing herself to stop giving others bad vibes is still hard. Her smiles are still mostly forced. She tries hard, but usually fails immensely. Fortunately she doesn’t need to try being friendly in this situation.

All she needed was one glance to silence him. A simple nod confirmed Lexa that he got the message. Just than Lexa turned her attention back to Clarke, she saw the same look from earlier on. _‘What is she thinking?’_ thought Lexa still not knowing what this look should mean. The only difference now was that Clarke was also biting down on her lower lip. Without any way to stop it Lexa grow hot and got several shades redder in seconds. If Clarke couldn’t see her blushing before, she surely could now. Seeing the amused look Clarke gave her, she was certain that Clarke did noticed it to Lexa’s dismay. At least Clarke was smiling at her again. Even if it cost some of Lexa’s pride it was still worth it. Thinking about it, it was kind of funny how they are both acting. It’s not like they wouldn’t know each other at all and still don’t want to waste time to know even more about the other. No matter if they even miss most of the movie or annoying the others in the cinema. _‘How could anyone come to the idea of writing on hands to communicate, anyway? Clarke clearly is something else.’_ thought Lexa grinning. Clarke in return just smiled brighter at Lexa’s grinning. It was rare for Lexa to just show emotions like that, but with Clarke she just can’t help it.

The rest of the movie was kind of blur for Lexa. They actually continued watching it after some while, what didn’t mean that Lexa was able to concentrate again. Clarke side was now again leaned against Lexa, but both of them somehow forget to let go of the others hand. Not that Lexa wanted to, though. She enjoyed it, despite the unusual feeling. Somehow it felt really, really wrong but at the same time incredible right. _‘Friends can hold hands, can’t they? Nothing wrong with it, right?’_

 

After the movie finally ended Lexa was unsure if she should be at ease or flip out. Being near Clarke was hard enough, but actually talking to her? What should Lexa even say? ‘Hey Clarke, sorry that you have to spend time with me because my siblings decided to bang your best friends?’ Probably not the best idea.

Before Lexa could even say something at all, Clarke got a tighter hold of her hand and signaled to follow her outside. Or course Clarke had to turn around shortly to give the man one last evil eye. Seeing it as a provocation the man was about to respond something, but again one look from Lexa was enough to shut him up like before. Clarke just rolled her eyes and frowned while leading Lexa outside. They throw the empty box of popcorn away and made their way outside. To Lexa’s surprise Clarke didn’t let go of her hand and lead her further away. Although Lexa had no idea where Clarke wants to go with her she didn’t tried to stop Clarke anyhow.  
  
Somehow Lexa wondered how her hands can still feel so warm, since it was really cold outside. There were no time to put on her gloves, before Clarke was already walking away with her hand in hand. From what she can feel Clarke’s hand was just as warm, almost sweaty. Same as Lexa’s. She could even see Clarke’s freezing red ears, whenever the wind softly blows against Clarke’s hair. Could feel how Clarke was slightly shivering because of the cold. Could see Clarke’s other hand buried in her jacket pocket, while the other never wanted to let go Lexa’s. Could see how Clarke rubbing her now red nose against her way to big scarf, trying to warm it up. Could see that-

Suddenly Clarke stop walking and was now facing Lexa, amused that Lexa almost run against the bench. Looking around Lexa recognized her surroundings. They were at the river not more than 20minutes away from Lexa’s home. She often comes here for her morning runs, but prefers the park in winter. Not that she minded the cold wind in general, however running against it, isn’t that much fun. Before Lexa could think more about it, she felt Clarke letting go of her hand. Clarke was now sitting down and patted on the left side next to her. Lexa got the message and sat down next to her.

 

“So, we finally met.” said Clarke now facing Lexa who only nodded in return. “I’m still not sure I like the reason behind it. Or rather the way.”  
“Me neither. I didn’t expected my sister to be that creative to be honest.” replied Lexa slightly smiling at the thought of Anya celebrating her success with the rest of Clarke’s friends just now.  
“I bet this was O’s idea. She’s reading way to much crap in the internet.” snickered Clarke. “Aren’t you cold?” asked Clarke pointing at Lexa’s jacket, shivering even more, while seeing Lexa’s open jacket.  
“No.” Lexa was used to the cold and felt hardly ever cold. Growing up in the system without much more than some old busted cloths did help when it comes to the cold. “Are you?”  
“Nah, I’ll manage.” answered Clarke shivering even more.  
“You sure are stubborn.” before Clarke was able to counter something, Lexa was already taking her jacket off and placed it around Clarke.  
“What are you doing?” Clarke looked at her in disbelieve. “It’s winter! You can’t sit here in just a shirt!”  
“Not just a shirt. I still have a scarf.” This didn’t seem to convince Clarke at all. Not giving Clarke a chance to give her back the jacket Lexa added. “Clarke. I swear it’s fine. Just take the jacket.”  
“Are you sure? I don’t want you to catch a cold.” Clarke was already shivering less but seemed worried.  
“I’m sure and I didn’t had a cold in years. Stop worrying about me.” waved Lexa off.  
“That’s something you need to get used to, Lexa. Being selfless might be a good characteristic in general, but not in the extend you practice it.” stated Clarke.  
“Maybe” Lexa smiled sadly at Clarke.  
“Cut the crap, Lex. Sometimes you need to act at least a bit selfish.” Clarke said while bumping her shoulder playfully against Lexa’s.  
“So, does this mean I should get my jacket back? Just for the sake of acting selfish?” teased Lexa.  
“I said a bit selfish, not being a totally douchebag.” pouted Clarke which made Lexa laugh.  
“Do not worry, Clarke. I won’t let you catch a cold as long as I can help it.” assured her Lexa.  
“Really?” asked Clarke to which Lexa simply nodded. “then how come you’re still not next to me?”  
“But I am next to you.” Lexa was slightly confused now.  
“There is still some distance between us. Too much distance. You’re wasting important body heat!” at this Lexa scooted a little bit closer to Clarke, making sure to not letting her side toughing Clarke’s. Clarke eyed her skeptically. “Do I smell or something?”  
“Of course not.” Lexa scooted even closer, still not touching Clarke in any sort of way. The closer she got, the more her heart started beating even louder and faster. She felt her cheeks grow hot again and tried to look away. The dark cinema might have covered her red cheeks, but that luck was over now.  
“I had my arms around you half the movie and we even hold hands. Why does sitting close to each other bother you so much now?” asked Clarke slightly confused at the way Lexa was acting towards her. Sometimes Lexa seemed to be just fine, other times totally not or simply tolerates it.  
“This is different.” mumbled Lexa almost to quite to hear.  
“How so? Because we’re not in the cinema anymore? Or maybe because we’re in a public place?” wondered Clarke.  
“Because you’re not scared now.” replied Lexa unsure.

“Okay? So you can tolerate being close to me, if it benefits me in any sort of way, but under normal circumstances you would never come near me?” Clarke took a deep breath and than slowly moved away from Lexa to give her some space. “I’m sorry Lexa. I knew you have your issues with people, however everything I did was to push you and made you do things which made you uncomfortable. I didn’t mean to force beyond your comfortable zone. I-”

Without thinking it through Lexa had already her arm around Clarke’s shoulder, holding her close against her.  
“You don’t have to do that, Lexa.” Clarke would never want to force Lexa to do anything she doesn’t want herself. Even if Lexa know that, it’s still hard to take it by heart.  
“I’m not doing that for you, Clarke. Someone told me to be a bit more selfish. Here I am, being cold, and stealing your body heat. See, I’m the bad one.” this actually made Clarke laugh. “And just to make this clear. You never did something against my will. I’m also not uncomfortable with you. It’s just kind of new for me. I already told you that people try to mostly avoid me.” added Lexa just to make it clear to Clarke that she has no reason to apologize.  
“If you wouldn’t give me your jacket in the first place, you wouldn’t need to steal any body heat, Lexa. That’s hardly badass nor selfish.” snickered Clarke, happy to know that she didn’t done anything wrong. “And yeah. I got that avoiding part. That man almost shit his pants. I kind of envy you there. That was fucking hot.” Clarke beamed at her. “So I agree, you seem to have this affect on people. Guess O and Bell got a point there. However, it’s not working on me. I still think you’re utterly adorable.”  
“I’m not.” disagreed Lexa instantly.  
“Sure, sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night, Commander.” this only made Lexa start pouting and Clarke laughing even harder. “Awww, now she’s even pouting. Such a cute little cinnamon roll.” Lexa only rolled her eyes, now completely red faced. “Someones blushing~” teased Clarke even more, enjoying this side of Lexa way to much.  
“I’m not blushing. It cold, that’s all.” tried Lexa to explain. “Now give me my jacket back. You don’t deserve it!” now it was Clarke’s time to pout, as Lexa took her jacket back and put it on without placing her arm around Clarke again.  
“Hey don’t be mean! It’s fucking cold! At least give me your arm again!” whined Clarke already missing the extra warmth.  
“That’s your own fault, Clarke. You wanted it that way.” grinned Lexa back. Clarke seemed to take this as a challenge and went silent for a while.  
  
Suddenly Clarke was standing up and faced Lexa with a wide smirk. Lexa on the other hand had no idea what Clarke’s intention was. Seeing Clarke eat shitting grin can’t mean something good.  
  
“You know Lexa, I like you. I really do. And… as your friend I am supposed to help you, right?” asked Clarke as innocent as possible. Lexa nodded still unsure of what Clarke had in mind. “You told me you’re not used to be close to others. Sometimes being thrown in at the deep end, will help much more than taking baby steps.” with that Clarke almost jumped onto Lexas lap with both arms around Lexa’s back to prevent falling down. Lexa herself was to stunned to react in any sort of way. _‘Clarke… Clarke is sitting on my.. o_ _n_ _my-’_  
Clarke was now hugging her tightly, humming happily at the new extra warmth. They stayed like this for a while, until Lexa somehow forced her arms to move around Clarke’s middle. She just put her arms lose around her, not daring to hold her even closer. The rest of her body was still stiff as a stone. She didn’t trust herself to do more before Clarke gave her an encouraging squeeze. “It’s okay Lexa. I won't break.” whispered Clarke in her left ear. “But if this is to much you can always kick me off. I won’t be offended, if you do.”

‘ _This is the last thing I want to do,_ _though._ _’_ thought Lexa now encouraged to overcome oneself. Slowly Lexa nestled up against Clarke, finding comfort in Clarke’s tight embrace. Her head was now on Clarke’s shoulder, softly pressed against the blondes hair. Her arms were just as tightly around Clarke, as Clarke’s were around her. It felt nice to be so close to someone else aside her small little family. Again Lexa was surprised how easily it was to trust Clarke. She didn’t even know Clarke in person for more than a few hours. Didn’t know her at all for more than a few days. Still she was holding her as close as possible. Not because she was simply cold. No. Because it felt way to nice to just let go. To trust someone. To simple enjoy someones company.

  
  
“Oh my god!!! Lexa!!! Look!!!” almost yelled in excitement. Just now Lexa realized that she didn’t even had her eyes open anymore. Slowly opening them she felt Clarke slightly letting go of Lexa in order to create some space between them.  
“It’s snowing!! Look how beautiful it looks!” Clarke was looking at the small snowflakes like a kid, who got his most desired toy as a Christmas gift. A look full of wonder for something so small and trivial. _‘Not as beautiful as you’_ wanted Lexa to say, but didn’t dared to. Just thinking about it was almost to much for Lexa’s heart. Noticing that Lexa wasn’t paying attention to the snow, Clarke slowly turned to face her. “Lex? Are you listening? What are-”  
It felt like the time stopped the moment they were facing each other. Even close enough to feel each others breath. Close enough that only on of them had to move a little bit further to kiss the other. _‘Just a bit closer...’_  
  
But both of them weren’t moving at all. They just stared at each other for the next few minutes. They only opening their mouths slightly, wanting to say something, but both aren’t saying anything.  
Clarke was the first to get over her speaking barrier. “How is it possible to have eyes so green…?” This got Lexa attention, but was thinking to slow to process what Clarke just said. “No, not only green. More like hazel. Green with a bit of blue and brown in a ring of forest green… So, so beautiful.” Clarke seemed to be somehow lost in Lexa’s eyes, what begins to make Lexa a bit nervous. “What? I-” hearing Lexa talking seemed to snap Clarke out of her thoughts.  
Abruptly Clarke got up from Lexa’s lap with her face blushed beyond believe. “I-. I think we should go now. It’s getting quite cold, isn’t it?” Clarke was now moving away, letting a still stunned Lexa behind. _‘What did just happen?_ ’ thought Lexa.

“Are you coming?” asked Clarke now a few feet further away. Lexa just now got up and followed her without answering nor questioning where they are going.  
  
‘I’m official screwed.’  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it <3  
> And no  
> It can't be this easy <3
> 
> Hope you liked the pictures for this chapter as well <3  
> Love you all guys <3 <3 <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke any Lexa meeting part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry this took me so long again...  
> I try to be better. I really do. 
> 
> But good news!  
> I got an amazing beta reader!!!!  
> She ist SOOO DAMN AMAZING!!!!  
> Love her <3
> 
> No really. She helps me a lot and I have the feeling I get better and better.   
> So less mistakes this chapter for you.   
> The chapters before will be corrected as well. We come to chapter 5 so far. Hopefully I will update all chapters with chapter 10 <3  
> Love ya all.

They were walking side by side for quite some time now. Neither of them talking. Just silently moving in no particular direction. It was still snowing, turning their surroundings slowly white. Clarke wasn’t even bothered by the cold anymore. Just thinking about what happened a few minutes ago was enough to let her heat up instantly. Whatever happened wasn’t even close to what Clarke intended to do. 

 

She never minded hugging her friends. Especially never felt weird afterwards. This time however something seemed off. It was only meant to be fun after all. She already promised Lexa a ‘Griffin-Hug’ so why not give her one? Lexa didn’t even kick Clarke off, like she expected to. Nevertheless something changed the moment she had her arms around Lexa’s back. 

 

It felt warmer than it normally would. Way more exciting and closer than with any other person. Probably nothing she should feel when it comes to hugging someone she barely knows. But do they really know so little about one another? They opened up to each other within hours. Shared things they wouldn’t with just anybody. Getting attached within days. Feeling safe around each other, only seconds after meeting for the first time.

 

‘ _ Okay, that is strange,’ _ Clarke admitted. She was always an open person. People tend to trust her rather quickly. Quite the contrary to Clarke. Or Lexa in that matter. However they both opened up to each other. It might be because they never thought they would meet anyway. How could they have known they were already connected by their friends. In the end they would’ve meet one way or another. No matter what happened.

 

The way they met certainly wasn’t what either of them expected. They acknowledged the creativity of their friends, but still didn’t agree with them interfering. It was supposed to be their choice. When and how they wanted to meet for the first time shouldn’t be for others to discuss.

 

Were both of them really that hopeless? She knew Lexa had her issues with dating. Clarke on the other hand, already dated a few boys. Even made out with some girls. Truth be told, she hasn’t been on any dates for quite some time now. Not that she wanted to anyway. She was totally content with being single. The only bad thing was the lack of sex. That indeed sucked. Nothing she couldn’t handle, though.

 

But there she was. With someone she barely knew. Someone she almost kissed a couple of minutes ago and had no idea why. Maybe she missed being with someone. Her friends have been complaining a lot about her mood. Telling her how she’s always grumpy and needs to get laid. Not that she disagreed on that. But that wasn’t a reason to involve Lexa. She could never use Lexa like that.

 

It surprised her how protective she acts when it came to Lexa. Judging from their earlier encounter, with the man in the cinema, Lexa could hold her own just fine. Yet Clarke still felt the need to protect her. Lexa’s been through so much in her short life. No need to cause her more problems.

 

“Clarke! Watch out!” suddenly Lexa reached for her arms. Clarke was so absorbed in her thoughts she didn’t register the traffic lights. One step more and she would probably be laying next to Raven in the hospital.

 

Taking in her surroundings she realized she was unconsciously walking towards home. Lexa was now holding her secured in her arms. Turning slightly she could see Lexa’s worried expression.  _ ‘How long was I zoned out?’ _ Clarke wondered. They’ve had to as least walked a half hour to come that far. 

“Clarke?” Lexa asked, showing no intention of letting go. “Is everything alright?”   
  


Clarke nodded out of instinct. There was nothing wrong with her after all. Wandering around without thinking was still not the best idea, Clarke had to admit. Fortunately Lexa was keeping her safe. That could have gone terribly wrong.   
  


“Are you sure?” Lexa didn’t seem convinced at all.   
“Yeah,” answered Clarke. “Sorry. I was kind of lost in thoughts.”   
“I guessed as much,” Lexa said, slowly letting go of Clarke. “Maybe we should bring you home.”

“We?”

“Yes, we. As in ‘I will bring you home, because I don’t want you to run into more danger’.” 

“Who would’ve thought that such a gorgeous girl happened to be my knight in shining armor. I must be really lucky,” Clarke joked knowing it was the easiest way to convince Lexa that she was alright.

“Oh believe me. You are,” Lexa jested back finally smiling again.

“So modest,” Clarke laughed.

“I’m only telling the truth, Clarke,” Lexa declared self-assured. “As you must know I’m an excellent fighter. I may suck at dating, but I’m sure you won’t find a better knight than me, my queen.”

“You can fight? Like black belt in karate fighting?” Clarke sputtered.  _ ‘Holy shit that’s hot’ _

“I prefer kickboxing, but yes. I also have a black belt,” Lexa confirmed.

“Next you’re gonna tell me you have fucking abs,” Clarke joked while Lexa only smirked in response. “Really? You’re kidding, right?”

“Maybe. Maybe not.” Lexa’s smirk only grew wider. “If you play your cards right, you may find out someday.”   
  


“What? Hey!” but Lexa was already walking across the street.

“You better hurry up.”

“The knight is supposed to wait!” Clarke barked finally catching up.

“Someone’s bossy today,” Lexa snorted with a wide smirk.

“I’m always bossy. I told you I get what I want.” Clarke declared with a smirk of her own.

“Really? We’ll see about that. ” Lexa asked.

“I bet we will,” Clarke answered.   
“So where do you live?”

“Actually we’re already here.” Clarke pointed towards a house which was only a few meters away.

“Are you serious?” Lexa asked dumbfounded.

“Yeah, I know a house just for two seems a bit... too much? But my parents we’re loaded, well my mother still is. As a surgeon she was almost never at home. Especially after my dad died… And Raven is basically my sister anyway. Even my mother treats her as her own. Probably even better than me… After… Well Raven didn’t have anywhere to go, so my mother bought this house for us. We fought a lot after my dad died and we both needed space. She thought it was better that way,” Clarke explained insecure. She normally didn’t like to talk about these kinds of things. The fact that Lexa grew up without her parents and a lot of money didn’t make it any easier.   
  


“That wasn’t what I mean, Clarke.” Lexa answered. “But thank you for trusting me with that.” After only getting a confused look from Clarke she added, “we’re basically neighbors, Clarke.”

“What?”

“Yeah, you see that house there with the huge apple tree?” Lexa pointed at a house on the other end of the street only 50 meters away.

“My ass! You’re kidding me, right? There’s no way in hell that we’ve been living this close without me noticing you!”

“Why would you notice me?”

“Because-” Clarke could barely stop herself before she said something she’d regret later on. “Because reasons.”

“Reasons? Like?”

“ I just can’t believe I’ve never seen you.I’ve spent so much time in your garden.” 

“What do you mean ‘you’ve spent so much time in my garden?’”

“Uhhmmm. I-, not important.”

“Clarke? What did you do in our garden?”

“I uh… well Octavia, Raven and I...”

“Clarrrkkeee????”

“I-.”

“Don’t tell me you three are the apple thieves…” Lexa warned and got a sheepish smile in return. “Do you have any idea how much time Lincoln and Anya spend just to catch you?!”

“Hey! Can you blame us? Those apples are the best apples ever!”

“Then why didn’t you just ask? Why the hell are you always sneaking in our garden just to steal some apples? Over and over again?”

“That wouldn’t be fun! The first time we did it we were drunk. Hella drunk! And yeah, then it become a habit… A challenge of some sort. I’ll ask from now on. I swear!”

“You know Anya and Lincoln would kill the three of you right?”

“What? You can’t tell them. Please.”

“Nope. Not a chance.”

“Pleaseeeeee!!” Clarke took both of Lexa’s hands in hers and plead for her dear life.

 

“Please what?” asked a person from behind, which startled both of them. Clarke looked horrified to see Anya standing behind them. She was sure that if Lexa told Anya, her days would be over. No, not just hers. Raven’s and Octavia’s as well. The more Anya tried to get them, the more Raven took it as a challenge. They even got that far, that they made plans and organized tools to get the apples without Anya noticing. Not that it worked. 

It always ended with them running for their lives. If it wasn’t be for Raven and her ability to make everything go boom, they would’ve been caught. Normally, they only had to run from Anya. But one time she got help. While Clarke was busy running away from Lincoln, Octavia was still trapped in the tree. What was supposed to be only a smoke bomb. to help them get away in tricky situations, almost burned half the garden. Luckily the apple tree was fine. They only got away because the Woods siblings were busy trying to extinguish the fire. Raven only shrugged and said she must have confused the smoke bombs with the real ones. Of course Raven refused to explain why she had real bombs at all.

 

“Nothing,” Lexa answered followed by a look to Clarke that clearly said ‘this is not over’.

“Really? If you say so.” Anya eyed them skeptically. Clarke was still terrified, but calmed down when Lexa softly squeezed her hands.

“Anyway, I take it your date went well?”

“You know this wasn’t a date Anya and I would be grateful if you all would stop pushing us,” Lexa objected angry. Even if Clarke knew that was indeed, not a date, it still hurt for whatever reason to hear Lexa say that so coldly.

“Ah, so you’re holding hands with just anyone? We both know that you hate body contact. Lincoln and I spent two months before you even let us to sit next to you without flinching away,” Anya argued knowing that this was unusual for her sister. Lexa and Clarke both blushed deeply, but didn’t bother to let go. If anything Clarke held Lexa’s hands even tighter, enjoying the fact that Lexa didn’t lie when she said she felt comfortable around her.

Knowing that she wouldn’t get an answer Anya continued. “Whatever. Do you mind letting me in Clarke? Raven wants something from her room. I mean, she gave me the key, but I admit I was worried to see images I never wanted to see. And I don’t mean in Raven’s room.” Clarke got several shaded redder, while Lexa seemed confused. “Really Lexa? Gosh, this is going to be harder than I thought.” Anya huffed, rolling her eyes at her sister's innocence.

“Our cute little Commander is just too good for this world,” Clarke teased mentally giving Anya a high five. Lexa grumbled something quietly. Anya observed them, astonished.   
  


“Clarke? Do you mind if I steal my sister for a moment? You can go upstairs. I’ll follow soon,” Anya asked friendly. Too friendly for Clarke’s liking.

“Yeah, of course,” Clarke agreed puzzled. “Are you coming in too, Lex? Or do you wanna go home already? I mean it’s fine if you have something else to do. I just-”

“It’s okay Clarke. Just give us a minute or two,” Lexa interrupted Clarke’s stammering.

Clarke slowly let go of Lexa’s hands and left the two alone.

 

–

 

“Are you sure you don’t wanna bat for the other team, baby sis? Having Clarke as my sister-in-law would be so much fun.” Anya almost whined. “She even thinks you’re cute after actually meeting you. That’s a fucking first.” Anya whined even more.

 

“You just want her so you two can tease me together,” Lexa grumbled peeved off. She knew something about Clarke was different, and yes she liked her. That wasn’t a reason to date her, nor a reason to date girls at all. Just because she felt comfortable around the blonde girl, that didn’t mean she was gay.

 

“What? No. I mean yes. It will be fun, but that’s not the reason I want you to get together. For whatever reason you didn’t scare Clarke off. I have no idea why, but she even thinks you’re cute. Name someone who’d disagree.”

 

“Does it matter? You don’t have to date  or kiss everyone you think is cute.  That would be gross, wouldn’t it?” Lexa said.    
  
“Would kissing Clarke be gross?”

 

“What? We’re friends. Maybe not even that. We barely know each other,” Lexa stammered nervously thinking about what happened half an hour ago. Clarke wasn’t about to kiss her, was she? No, Lexa must have imagined things. 

 

“That’s something  that can be easily changed. You didn’t answer my question, though. Would it be gross to kiss Clarke?”

“I guess? I mean you don’t normally kiss your friends, do you?”

“You guess? Whatever. I know you’re game is weak and you don’t wanna acknowledge that you may like girls. I get that. It was scary for me too. The only difference is that I don’t give a fuck about what people think. You do. Anyway, Clarke will be good for you. No matter if she’s  a friend or more.”

“You forget that Clarke isn’t even interested.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. You’re a Woods now! Act like one!”

“She made it pretty clear. There’s no reason to make things awkward.”

“Whatever you say baby sis. Let’s go before Clarke misses us.”

 

–

 

Clarke rushed inside trying to clean up as much as possible before the siblings came upstairs. Since Raven’s been in the hospital, Clarke’s barely eaten anything healthy. If they ever eat anything healthy at all. Of course Octavia let her walk straight into a trap without any warning to clean her home. Her home was a mess, or as Clarke would say a creative chaos. Everywhere were pencils, drawings, paint… and lot’s of old pizza boxes and crisp bags.  _ ‘Great’ _ thought Clarke knowing there was no way hiding it. They didn’t even have a trash can big enough.  _ ‘Worst first impression ever.’ _

 

In her dilemma she didn’t notice that Lexa and Anya were already inside.

“Wow, I thought your mother was a doctor? Do you eat anything healthy at all?” Anya snorted.

“Even worst. She is a surgeon,” Clarke corrected simply knowing there was no use trying. Both Raven and herself sucked at cooking.

“Does she know how you eat? It’s kind of unfair. How can you be this hot when you feed yourself with all this unhealthy crap?” Anya asked.

“Oh I’m hot? Don’t tell that to Raven,” Clarke laughed. “You should know we have a habit of dating the same people. Guess we have similar tastes.”

“Well, you’re too late Blondie. Besides, you’re not really my type. You’re way too friendly,” Anya joked. “But I still have a very single hot sister, as you know.”

“ANYA!” Lexa yelled. “Stop that.”

“She’s only telling the truth Lexa,” Clarke agreed, smirking.

“See Lexa, I’m right as always. Now accept your  gayness and bring a sweet girlfriend over,” Anya said.

Lexa only rolled her eyes while Clarke laughed. It was nice to see this side of Lexa, as well.   
  


“But seriously though. You and Raven need to stop eating this crap,” Anya stated.

“I’m afraid Anya’s right. It’s actually terrifying that you eat like this , especially if you’re training to be a doctor. You’re supposed to tell others to be healthy. Shouldn’t you be setting a good example or something?” Lexa asked. 

Anya was thrilled. “You want to become a doctor?” Clarke nodded. “Amazing! You would be such a power couple. The bad-ass lawyer and the doctor.”

Clarke and Lexa rolled their eyes.  _ ‘As if this would be important. I would date Lexa under any circumstances. Wait? What? Fuck! Bad Clarke! Stop crushing on straight girls! Stop crushing on anyone!’ _

Anya nudged Lexa. “What? You would make tons of money!”

“You know I don’t care about money. I want to be a lawyer to help others. Nothing more.”

“Same as me.” Clarke smiled at Lexa.

 

Before Anya could respond her phone started ringing. Instead of holding her phone at her ear she simple turned on the loudspeaker.

“Where the fuck are you Anya? Leave my room alone and just bring me the damn-” 

“Raven,” Anya interrupted Raven before she could finish the sentence. “I’m here with Blondie and my baby sis.”

“Wait? Both of them? Where?”

“At your home. Found them holding hands outside.”

“Oh, okay.”

“What do you mean ‘oh okay’? Raven?” Anya asked, confused because Raven wasn’t teasing them with her like before.

“Well, I hold hands with Clarke all the time. We even share a bed from time to time,” Raven defended them. “Can they hear me?”

“You sleep with Clarke?” Was the only thing Anya could think about.

“Yeah? But like sleep for the sake of sleeping. We may ‘sleep’ with the same people, but we don’t sleep with each other. We’re basically sisters,” Raven explained.

“Raven’s right. My mother loves her even more than me,” Clarke grumpily interjected.

“I’m awesome,” Raven laughed. “Now leave the girls alone and do your job. I’m waiting.”

Raven didn’t wait for a reply before she hung up.

 

Anya was still stunned that Raven didn’t even try to tease them.

“Raven’s room is upstairs, right side.” Clarke explained laughing at Anya’s confusion.

“I have no idea what you did, but I will find out.” Anya walked out of the room straight into Raven's.

“Soooo, I guess Raven held her promise. No more interfering,” Clarke said turning to face a smirking Lexa.

“Didn’t I already tell you I usually get what I want?” Lexa teased.

“Oh hush. You only got lucky this time,” Clarke teased back.

“We will see, Clarke.”

“We will.”

 

They went silent for awhile. Enjoying each other's presence. Clarke was used to having Raven or Octavia around her. Both of them louder than the other. All her other friends were very talkative as well. Some people called that being social, but from time to time she liked to only exist. Being near someone without the need to talk. Thinking about different things without being alone. 

 

The only person she had this connection with was her father. He was a mechanic and liked to build small things with all different types of material. He created figures, animals, buildings… about anything that had a lot of small details. Sometimes they could even move or make noises. 

 

Clarke loved to watch her father as a kid. While he worked on his projects, she used the time to draw. She tried to work with wood and metal as a kid as well, but was never good at it. Even years after they still used to work in silence. It ended when he died. Thinking back, that was probably the reason why she ever considered dating Finn. He used to build her small animals out of metal. It reminded her of her father and the time they spent together. Sadly, she was never able to be in the same room as him to draw or watch create anything. The moment they were alone he only wanted one thing: Sex.

 

Now she’s there with Lexa. Neither of them needed to fill the silence. Clarke had already said Lexa’s calm nature reminded her of her father. Being there with her confirmed it even more. Maybe she had a little father complex. Doesn’t change the fact that she missed being with someone who understood you didn’t have to talk all the time.She had a feeling Lexa would understand that. Lexa had already told her she wasn’t a big talker anyway. Maybe she finally found someone who would simply let her be.

 

“The way you look at each other freaks me out,” Anya told them in disgust.

Both of them were too deep in thoughts so realize Anya came back. They faced  Anya then, annoyed. “Wow, you already mastered the evil couple glare. Well, I won’t disturb you anymore. See ya.”

Anya closed the door behind her and left the two alone again.

 

“What’s an ‘evil couple glare’?” Lexa asked confused.

“I have no idea. Your sister is as weird as Raven sometimes. They’re like the same person,” Clarke shrugged.

“I have no doubt that they’ll be good for each other,” Lexa said smiling which made Clarke smile as well. It was nice to see Lexa like that. Smiling and less tense than she was at the movies.

 

“So… what do you want to do now? Watch a movie?” Clarke suggested. “We can order some pizza or something.”

“Even more pizza? You really need to eat something other than this crap. It’s really not healthy, Clarke.”

“Well… I can’t cook for shit. I have no idea how, and everything turns gray and tastes gross. I’m still better than Raven. When she cooks, everything burns and I don’t mean only the food. I mean EVERYTHING.”

“Did you eat an actual meal  today?” Lexa asked chuckling.

“Uhh… some cerea. Why?”

“Wait, you didn’t have breakfast?”

“I’m never hungry in the morning...”

“Clarke! That’s the most important meal of the day” Lexa told Clarke, who only rolled her eyes. “I’m serious!”

“Yeahhhh. Got it. I’ll try to do better, mom.”

“Don’t mom me. That’s weird.”

“Oh? So you’re more the daddy kind of girl? And here I thought you didn’t have it in you,” Clarke joked.

“What? NO! Stop that,” Lexa argued to Clarke’s delight. ‘ _ How can she be so damn cute?’ _

“Chill your life commander. Why’d you ask anyway?”

“Ask what?”

“If I ate something today?”

“Oh. We could go over to my place and cook something together. Or mostly me, because I don’t want gray food,” Lexa suggest.

“Wow Lexa. Already meeting the parents? Aren’t we moving a bit fast? You haven’t even kissed me yet,” Clarke said trying to sound as serious as possible, while Lexa turned bright red.  _ ‘So easy.’ _

“You-... You want me to kiss you?” Lexa asked shocked.  _ ‘Being that innocent should be illegal!’ _

“Shit, Lex. I was only joking. Stop being so damn cute. You make it really hard to behave!” she laughed. “Seriously, though. No worries okay? I admit I have a habit of falling for straight girls, but I would never force myself on someone. I promise not to jump you, okay?” Clarke assured her, feeling slightly bad. She knew Lexa was easily flustered and was too good for this world.

“Would not being straight change something?” Lexa whispered more to herself than to anyone. Clarke was stunned.  _ ‘Did she just-’ _

 

Before Clarke could respond anything the door of her home was opened again.

“Cllaarkkeee? It’s me!” someone yelled from the door.

“What do you want Octavia?!”  _ ‘Of all the times, she had to come now!’ _

“Woah, tiger. Was your date that bad?” Octavia joked. Coming closer she saw Lexa standing next to Clarke. “Oh. Hey Lexa. Did I disturb some gay-actions?” Lexa shook her head. If Clarke didn’t know any better she looked almost relieved at the interruption.

“Shut up Octavia.” Clarke grumbled.

“That bad? Sorry. But at least you still have your clothes on. Could be worse.”

“If you’re only here to make fun of us, you can turn around and go.”

“You’re kicking me out?”

“I asked you to go, but you can have a kick for free if you want. I wouldn't mind.”

“Woah Clarke. Calm down okay?”

“I will not calm down. It was you’re idea to make us meet like that, right? Why would you do that?”

“What? I was only helping!”

“Helping? By forcing Lexa to meet me, although she didn’t want to? What kind of help is that? It should be our decision to meet. Not yours!” Clarke yelled angry.

“I-”

“Both of you stop.” Lexa interrupted. “It’s okay Clarke. I don’t regret meeting you. Please don’t fight because of me.”

“Lex...” Clarke murmured feeling sorry for her outburst. “I’m sorry if I overdid it, okay? I just wanted to help you two! You were sad we already met Lexa and you didn’t. I swear I only did it out of good intentions. But you have to agree my plan was awesome,” Octavia said.

“Awesome plan? I was standing in front of a girl I didn’t know and wasn’t able to say anything because we were in a damn cinema! Do you have any idea how fucked up it is to sit next to someone you’ve wanted to meet so badly and not be able to say anything for the first hour and a half?” Clarke objected.  _ ‘Fuck. Did I really just say that?’ _ One look at Lexa was enough to confirm it.  _ ‘Yep, fuck me.’ _

“Badly, huh?” Octavia chuckled making Clarke and Lexa blush. “And I admit my plan had some weak points. Still the most creative thing I’ve ever done.”

“Some weak points… right,” Clarke snorted trying to hide her embarrassment.

“At least it worked. Even better than we thought it would,” Octavia stated. “But I have a date to attend to. Just wanted to see how you’re doing. See ya girls. And Clarke?”

“Yeah?”

“No sex on the couch,” Octavia laughed and quickly left the house.

“THE FUCK? O!” Clarke yelled, but Octavia already closed the door.

 

“I swear this girl will be the death of me,” Clarke said groaning in annoyed.  _ ‘Does every friend have to embarrass me?’ _ Now alone again, Clarke couldn’t stop thinking about what Lexa just asked her before Octavia disturbed them. She wasn’t even sure if she should ask Lexa about it. Maybe she heard it wrong. But what if Lexa really just asked that. Or was she scared? Scared that Clarke would want more? _ ‘Maybe I’m overthinking things again. It’s not like I want to date her or anything, anyway.’ _

 

“Clarke? You didn’t answer my question from before,” Lexa said making Clarke blush. “Hey, it’s okay if you don’t want to go over to my place if it makes you uncomfortable. But we’d be alone. My parents won’t be back for at least 3 weeks,” Lexa explained.  _ ‘Wait what? What is she talking about?’ _ Seeing Clarke look at her funny Lexa continued. “I could go over there and bring some food over. I just don’t know if you have the right kitchen equipment.”

“What?” Clarke was confused. 

“Are you okay?” Lexa asked. “If you don’t feel well I could always just leave. We could meet some other time. If you want to of course. I don’t want to imply that-”

“Lex,” Clarke stopped her. “First of all: Stop thinking that I wouldn’t want you around me.  If I want you to leave, I’ll say so. Got it?” Lexa nodded. “Good girl, and I’m perfectly fine. I just have no idea what you're talking about.”

“Oh, well I asked you before if you were hungry and said that I could cook something for us.”

“Ah fuck, yeah, you did. Sorry, I was kind of lost in thought.”

“It’s not a problem. Octavia was a bit distracting.”

‘ _ Yeah. More like you, but whatever,’ _ thought Clarke. “So what are  you cooking me?” Clarke asked excited.

“Whatever you want,” smiled Lexa clearly happy that Clarke said yes.

“Surprise me commander. I’m not picky.”

“As you wish my queen.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it <3  
> You will get more fluff next chapter :D  
> Hope you like the picture as well <3
> 
> You can find my amazing beta reader here:   
> http://archiveofourown.org/users/monique1397/pseuds/monique1397  
> and here:  
> http://1397monique.tumblr.com/
> 
> She's posting only Clexa so check her out <3  
> Give her some love for all the help :3  
> <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cooking time~

 

What was she thinking? She barely managed to not scare off Clarke so far. Why push her luck even further? Can’t she just be happy for once with how things are? It could’ve been so easy. Go home, maybe write a bit more with Clarke and hopefully meet sometime again. No pressure on both sides and more importantly, there was no way to destroy anything before it even started.

 

That’s why she found herself in her kitchen with Clarke. How did this all happen? They were only writing for a couple of days. This, whatever this actually was, was never supposed to happen. 

 

It felt nice to write with Clarke. Somehow Lexa felt understood. A feeling that was rare for her. She could just be Lexa, not who people expected her to be. Lexa didn’t have to worry about scaring off Clarke with her appearance. Didn’t have to worry about anything.

 

Since the dilemma with Costia she wasn’t looking forward to actually meet someone from the internet. Meeting Cos was similar to the way she got to know Clarke. After being alone for so long, she thought that meeting online would be easier. As long as they couldn’t see her, they couldn’t misjudge her. 

 

Everything was so easy with Cos. They wrote a lot and always listened to each other’s problems. It was only a matter of time until Lexa fell for him, though she didn’t know who Cos really was. The only thing she knew was his name, age, an e-mail address and one picture. Every time she asked to call or meet each other, he declined for stupid reasons. Anya often told her something was off with him. It couldn’t be that someone would write with her like that who wasn’t willing to at least give her his phone number. It broke Lexa’s heart that the one who told her for months that he loved her, lied about almost everything.

 

Costia aka Cos begged Lexa to forgive her. Claiming that she only lied about ‘visual aspects’, but never about her feelings for Lexa. That she deserves a second chance after everything they’ve gone through. It was true that Costia was always there for her. Still no excuse for lying. Lexa offered to stay friends, to Costia’s dismay. What did Costia expect? The different gender was one thing, the huge age difference another, but lying all this time was a no-go.

 

Lexa tried to stay in contact knowing it was hard for Costia as well. Sadly, things ended quickly and Costia stopped writing completely. It broke Lexa’s heart to know that she was left alone again. After sulking for days Anya finally got her to open up a bit. They talked for hours about what they have gone through. At some point Lincoln found them both crying and it didn’t take long for him to join. In the end she lost one person she thought she loved, but gained two loving siblings.

 

Yet nothing prepared Lexa for this. She was used to chatting. Maybe even flirting while doing so. That didn’t mean she had to talk to them directly. Let alone meet them. Everything changed so fast. Too fast for Lexa’s liking. For whatever reason Lexa still couldn’t shut up. She had to invite Clarke home. What if Clarke didn’t like her cooking? What if-

 

“So what are you planning to cook me, commander?” Clarke teased, sensing Lexa was overthinking things again.

“Ohm… I was thinking something basic,” Lexa replied opening the door to her home. “Do you like spaghetti bolognese? It doesn’t take that much time and you could even help, since it’s pretty simple.”

“Sounds good to me,” Clarke smiled. Now inside, Clarke saw how different Lexa and herself were living. Everything matched perfectly together. There were a few pictures of the siblings and who Clarke thinks are their parents.

Noticing that Clarke isn’t behind her anymore, Lexa turned around to find the reason. “You already met Anya and Lincoln. This is Indra and Gustus. Our parents,” Lexa explained while pointing at each parent.

Clarke nodded in understanding.

“There isn’t a single picture of you smiling,” Clarke noticed.

“I normally don’t.”

 

–

 

Before Clarke was able to respond something, Lexa was already on her way into the kitchen. ‘ _ What does she mean, she doesn’t smile?’ _ Clarke wondered. Sure, she isn’t smiling all the time and is more the serious type of person, but Clarke already saw her smiling quite a few times today. Can’t be that bad, can it?

 

Following Lexa into the kitchen, she observed Lexa collecting all kind of ingredients and tools.

“You can have my apron, if you want. Don’t want you to dirty your clothes,” Lexa pointed at the aprons hanging on the wall next to Clarke.

“Let me guess. Yours is the one with a raccoon on it?”

“Obviously.”

“In that case I can manage without one.”

“Why? It’s just an apron.”

“I know, but I want to see you wearing it,” Clarke teased.

“What? Why?”

“Because I bet you look way cuter in it than I ever could.”

“I’m everything but cute.”

“Oh my… You’re sure you don’t need glasses, Lex? If you could only see what I see.”

“Actually I do have glasses. I’m usually wearing contact lenses though,” Lexa explained while picking up a knife, a cutting board and an onion for Clarke.

“You do? Do you have a pair of those cute big nerdy glasses? And what do you want me to do with this onion? You don’t expect me to cut it, right?” Clarke asked.

“Well, I won’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I prefer my contact lenses to stay where they are,” Lexa explained.

“What? That’s unfair! You can’t just invite a girl home, only to make her cry,” Clarke whined. “Anya’s right. You do suck at dating.”

“Good thing this isn’t a date than. Now cut the onion or I eat everything alone.”

“Only if you wear that apron and allow me to take a picture.”

“You do remember that you’re the one who’s getting free food, right?”

“But you already have a picture of me.”

“Because of Anya. Not because you allowed me to take one.”

“But-” Clarke sulked.

“Clarke,” Lexa warned. “Start cutting that onion or we’ll both starve.” Finally giving up Clarke started to peeling the onion. “Good girl.”

“You should save that for different circumstances.”

“What?”

“Calling me a ‘good girl’,” Clarke teased knowing full well how Lexa reacts to flirtatious teasing. Sadly Lexa doesn’t seem to understand what Clarke was hinting at. “Really Lex? You’re such a pure soul. I’m not sure I’ll be good for you.”

“Not everyone can have a dirty mind like you. Anyway, I’ll gladly risk losing my ‘pure soul’ for you. Now cut the onion”

“Yes, chef.”

 

Clarke instantly felt tears forming in her eyes, when she started cutting the onion. Each cut made it harder for her to hold back her tears. “Lex….”

“Yeah Clarke?” asked Lexa turning around. “What are you doing?”

“The onion is evil. She makes me cry,” Clarke whined rubbing her eyes with her hands. That of course only made it worst. Still not ready to lose the fight against the onion she continued cutting.

“Stop that Clarke. You will only cut yourself,” Lexa lectured while handing Clarke a tissue.

“I’m not dumb, Lex. Just because I can’t cook, doesn’t mean I can’t handle knifes. I have to cut and stitch up people all the time in the future. Remember? I’m in med-school for a rea-, FUCK!” Clarke yelled. Of course she had to cut herself right after claiming that she wouldn’t.

“Clarke! Are you okay?” Lexa asked worried, taking Clarke’s hand into hers. After seeing that it wasn’t a deep cut she used the tissue to cover up Clarke’s finger. “It’s not deep. Just wait here. I patch you up in no time.” Lexa gave Clarke an another tissue for her eyes. “Be right back.”

 

Clarke could hear Lexa running through her home and coming back soon after. Slowly Clarke’s tears stopped and she could almost see normal again.

Lexa took Clarke’s hand into hers again and carefully took off the tissue. “I’m sorry. The only band-aids we have left are with dinosaurs on it. I hope that’s okay.”

“That’s fine,” Clarke replied watching Lexa carefully cleaning the wound. Clarke couldn’t help but notice how close they were again. Slowly her gaze wanders to Lexas face, which only made her think about their almost kiss again. But who could judge Clarke? Lexa was adorable and the way she bit her lip in concentration wasn’t helping at all. Yet Clarke managed to behave better than before. She couldn’t risk doing something she’d surely regret. There is no way she’d sacrifice her chance to actually get to know Lexa, because of a stupid little kiss.

 

“Good all done,” Lexa said looking up straight into Clarke’s eyes. Just like outside Clarke felt the same pull towards Lexa. Clarke could swear that Lexa felt it as well, but was holding back just as much.  _ ‘Could that be?’ _

Somehow Lexa managed to turn away and went back to finish cutting the tomatoes. “You can sit down. I’ll do the rest. I don’t want to risk you cutting yourself again.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I can still do something. I admit that was kinda clumsy on my side, but I rarely cut myself.”

“Okay, but I’ll do the cutting. You can cook the spaghetti after I finish.”

“Alright Chef.”

 

–

 

Lexa finished cutting everything except the onion. She really hated cutting them. Especially when she wore eyeliner. Anya used to joke that she looked like she wears war paint every time she was cutting onions. Lincoln on the other hand used to call her raccoon and somehow both of them stuck to it. Not that she would tell that to Clarke. No, she will do everything to try not to cry.. 

 

Slowly she tried to hold her breath. She remembered reading somewhere that it would help. The first few cuts were easy and Lexa had the hope it would continue like that. Sadly her luck quickly left. It didn’t take long for her to start crying like a little baby. At least she finished cutting it before it got even worst. She tried not to rub her eyes, but it burned too much not to. Squinting her eyes in order to ease the burning, she didn’t noticed Clarke coming closer. Said person was now softly brushing away her tears with a tissue. Lexa couldn’t stop herself from leaning into Clarke’s touch even further.  _ ‘This feels nice.’ _

 

“I think you can open your eyes again,” Clarke said, after she gently fondled her hand across Lexa’s cheek.

Lexa slowly opened her eyes. Noticing that she could barely see Clarke clearly, she rubbed her eyes again.

“Good job. Now you’re all black again,” Clarke snickered. “There is no way I can clean that without some soap.”

“It’s okay. I think I lost one of my contact lenses anyway. Thank you, though.”

“No problem. Better get your glasses then.”

“Will do. Be right back.”

 

–

 

_ ‘I’m literally fucked,’ _ Clarke thought, knowing very well that she needed to stop. She couldn’t let it continue like this. Lexa was straight for god's sake, and while Clarke wondered if that was really true, she still knew that she wasn’t good for Lexa. At least not when it came to feelings. The possibility that she just really needed to get laid was enough reason for her to question her behavior towards Lexa. 

 

All of this was probably because Lexa was new, and getting to know new people was somehow exciting. Nothing more nothing less. It would be weird wanting to have sex with someone she already knew for years. There was a time she was tempted to have sex with Raven, but she quickly shut that thought down. It wouldn’t have helped Raven in any way and she surely didn’t want to hurt her further than Finn already did. 

 

Raven become her safe-spot. She understood her like nobody else did. If Clarke was forced to choose between her friends, she would always choose Raven. No matter what. Clarke would never destroy this by needing comfort in different ‘areas’. It didn’t take long for Clarke to know that she made the right choice. Raven was the sister she never had and now even thinking about that grosses her out.

 

Still, she envied Raven’s ability to sleep around with strangers without a second thought. Clarke always needed to know the person before she decided to sleep with them. It’s not like she had to know their whole life story. No, she just wanted to feel wanted for who she was and not just because her body looked pleasant. Before she could even think about someone as more than just a friend, they needed to earn her trust. 

 

Since she found out her own mother stopped the life-support without her knowing and therefore killed her father, she developed huge trust issues. She knew it wasn’t her mother's fault her father died, but she blamed her all the same, until she meet Finn. He was always there for her, no matter what. Being cheated on by the person she thought she could trust the most hurt. A lot. That was probably the reason she had no intention dating anyone for months now.

 

Of course she just had to forget all this and fall for the next best straight girl.  _ ‘Wait, what? I did not fall for her!’ _

 

“Should I asked what the spaghetti did to you?” Lexa chuckled behind Clarke. Clarke didn’t even notice she grasped the noodle package and broke the spaghetti into tiny pieces.

 

“You know that you could’ve just asked for smaller noodles, if you don’t like long ones.” She had washed the rest of her makeup away and was now wearing black nerdy glasses. If Clarke didn’t think Lexa was cute as fuck in general, she definitely would’ve after seeing Lexa in her oversized gray hoodie paired with those glasses. Which she has to wear right now of course. Not like it was already hard enough for Clarke. 

 

Lexa only smirked at her as if she knew exactly what Clarke was thinking.  _ ‘She’s a quick learner’. _ It pissed Clarke off as much as it turned her on. It had been so long since she shamelessly flirted with someone. Even if she knew they weren’t flirting for real it was still fun.  _ ‘This girl’s got more game than I want to admit.’ _

 

Lexa didn’t seem to be bothered about the fact that Clarke didn’t answer in embarrassment at all. She just continued working on the food like nothing happened. Meanwhile, Clarke used the time to watch Lexa cook. She only stopped when Lexa asked her to cook the pasta. Of course she insisted on using Clarke’s damaged ones.  _ ‘Cooking spaghetti can’t be that hard,’ _ Clarke thought, not wanting to embarrass herself further. She got a pot from Lexa and filled it with water. Lexa watched her like a hawk, which made Clarke slightly nervous.  _ ‘I can’t make a mistake by cooking pasta. If I do she’ll think I’m completely useless.’ _

“Stop that Lexa. I’m not going to burn your kitchen down. I know what I’m doing.” Trying to gain her confidence back, she placed the water filled pot on the burner. Not waiting until the water was boiling, she cluelessly poured the pasta into the water. Lexa was focusing on her sauce, trying to avoid watching Clarke. Clarke however, was watching Lexa in fascination.  _ ‘How can simple bolognese-sauce smell so damn good?’ _

Finished with the seasoning Lexa started collecting plates, forks and spoons for them. Meanwhile Clarke forgot to watch the time and had no idea how long the pasta’s been cooking.  _ ‘Damn! All because you can’t focus around her.’  _ She used the sieve Lexa gave her beforehand and put the now waterless noodles into a bowl.  _ ‘Why do they look so slimy?’ _

 

Not giving it a second thought, she put the bowl on the fully set table. Lexa joined her with the bolognese-sauce and smirked when she saw the noodles. Still not commenting Clarke’s cooking as she sat down. Clarke sat down next to Lexa and waited for her to start taking the food.

“You can start,” Lexa told her knowing what was going to happen. Clarke eyed her skeptically and start taking some of the noodles. Well, she tried. It was more like taking a chunk of noodles.  _ ‘Oops’ _

Lexa couldn’t take it anymore and laughed out loud. Normally Clarke would’ve been mad, but hearing and watching Lexa in pure joy was way to cute. “Yeah, got it. So what did I do wrong?”

“Well, what did you do right?” Lexa countered still laughing, which made Clarke roll her eyes. “You should start with not breaking the noodles into tiny pieces. Then wait until the water is boiling and use some salt. And last but not least cook noodles next time for half the time. It you don’t want to get these slobbery ones.”

“You couldn’t tell me that sooner?”

“You told me to stop watching you.”

“But-”

“Clarke it’s okay. You told me you couldn’t cook and proved it. It’s fine, you’re still cute,” Lexa said before she was able to stop herself. “I mean-, you-”

“It’s okay, Lex. You’re very cute as well.” Clarke smirked.

“I-, I’m not,” Lexa disagreed blushing.

“Oh yes, you are,” Clarke claimed. “Maybe we should cook new noodles, though,” she added poking the ‘noodles’

“No. You made them and we’re eating them.”

“But they look horrible.”

“I’ve eaten worst things. Don’t worry.”

“If you say so… You don’t need to be nice to me. I know I can’t cook for shit and as it seems I can’t cut things as well,” Clarke sighed defeated. “Maybe I shouldn't become a doctor just because my mother wants me to be. I mean how can I expect to be any good, if I can't even cut a damn onion without hurting myself.”

“Then don’t.”

“Then don’t what?”

“Don’t become a doctor, if you don’t want to be one.”

“If it were only that easy.”

“I never said it’d be easy. But if I remember correctly you were the one who wrote ‘Life should be about more than just surviving’ on your profile. Maybe you should start taking your own advice. Sometimes you need to make sacrifices.”

“You checked my profile?” Clarke asked surprised. Maybe Lexa was at least a tiny bit interested in her as well? ‘ _ Or she just checked her profile like any other normal person would…’ _

“Well, I-. Never mind. We should eat before it gets cold.” Lexa was blushing again, but quickly took some noodles and sauce and waited for Clarke to take some sauce as well.

After silently eating for a while Clarke hummed in pleasure. “I must say that my noodles have zero consistency, but your bolognese-sauce is fucking amazing.”

“At least you don’t have to chew anything,” Lexa laughed.

“Well, that’s actually good that I don’t have to waste time chewing.”

“What do you mean?”

“It means I can eat a lot more in a short time before I’m full.”

“Feel free to eat as much as you want.”

“You only want me to gain even more weight.”

“’Even more? You can hardly say that. Look at your body. You’re perfect.”

“Maybe it just looks like that. You have no idea how my stomach looks like without clothes on. Not everyone can have abs like you.”

“I never told you if I had abs and I’m sure your stomach looks perfectly fine.”

“It was implied. You wouldn’t bait me like that if you didn’t have abs.”

“You really do like abs don’t you?”

“On girls? Yeah. That’s really hot.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“So you do have abs?”

“Didn’t say that.”

“Come on, Lex. It’s a simple question. I didn’t even asked you to show them. Yet.”

“And here I thought you had skill Clarke. You want me to show you? Then make me.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Yes.”

 

Clarke smirked and looked at the bolognese-sauce and then back to Lexa.

“I’m so sorry, but I have to do this,” Clarke said to the bolognese-sauce before she dipped in half her hand, which landed with one swift motion straight on Lexa hoody.

 

“What the? Clarke! Do you know how hard it is to get tomato out of bright clothes?” Lexa almost yelled.

“Then you better better take off your hoodie right now,” Clarke grinned innocently.

“Are you serious? You don’t play with food! And I’m sure you know I didn’t mean that with ‘make me take of my clothes’.”

“It works either way, as I just proved.” Clarke pointed out. “Now take of your hoodie. I don’t want to be the reason you never wear it again. It’s way too cute on you to being ruined.” Lexa grumbled and slowly turned around to take off her hoodie. What Clarke didn’t consider was that Lexa could have clothes under her hoodie. “Really? You sat outside in just a shirt and told me that you don’t easily get cold? Why are you now wearing a tank top under this really warm hoody?”

“So much for it worked, huh?” Lexa smirked.

“Haha, it-, wait. Is that a tattoo? You have tattoos?”

“Of course not. I just like to draw things on my arm, my back-”

“You have more on your back? Oh my god, now I really want you to take off your clothes.”

“After you ruined my hoodie? Not a chance.”

“Well, your tank-top is white and I still have some sauce left on my hands. So are you resigning or do I need to ruin even more clothes?”

“Don’t you dare!” In her despair Lexa dipped her fingers into the sauce as well and reach for Clarke’s shirt. Sadly, Clarke sidestepped Lexa and started running away.

“Not a chance commander. I’m not as easy as you.”

“Easy? Me? We’ll see,” Lexa replied running after Clarke, not giving up.

 

Clarke ran into the living room and towards the couch. Lexa quickly chased after her, but Clarke simply moved around the couch. They only stopped after a few rounds of running around. Of course she didn’t expect Lexa to jump over the couch after another round, and tackle Clarke straight to the ground.

 

Even then she tried to get away, but there were no use. Lexa was straddling her hips and already left the sauce everywhere while tackling.

“Okay, okay. You won. I give up. Wait! What-,” Clarke tried to say, but Lexa already had other plans. “NOOO! PLEASE!” Lexa was now tickling Clarke’s sides. “Fuck! Lex! Stop!” Clarke whined between laughing.

“No way. You started this war and I’m ending it!”

“But Lex-, Fuck,” Clarke couldn’t stop laughing and tried to stop Lexa from tickling her further. “Just stop!””

“Admit your defeat and I will.”

“Never!”

“Then live with the consequen-,” Lexa tried to say, but got interrupted by Clarke flipping them over. Now Lexa was the one on the ground, pinned down by Clarke.

 

“Sorry babe, but I’m everything but a bottom.” Now on top, Clarke felt way better. Lexa was too dumbfounded to fight back, and just stared at her with an unreadable expression. Her hands were still on Clarke’s sides, however without moving. Using Lexa’s surprise, Clarke grasped both hands and slowly pinned them down next to Lexa’s shoulders. She could swear she noticed Lexa taking a real deep breath when she did so, but maybe she was just imagining things. Not like she wouldn’t do the same when someone was bent above her, legs between hers and her hands pinned against the ground. As innocent as it started and should still be, Clarke thoughts clearly weren’t anymore.

 

“C-, Clarke?” Lexa stammered uneasy. It was obvious that Lexa didn’t feel comfortable with her hands trapped. Knowing that she’d gone too far she immediately let go of Lexa’s hands. Even though Lexa started all of this, Clarke still felt sorry. Anya made it quite clear that Lexa didn’t like body contact. So being pinned down by someone surely wasn’t Lexa’s favorite position. Plus she could only image how she must have looked at Lexa at this moment. Judging from Lexa’s behavior she must have looked at her like an animal looked at his prey. Why couldn’t she just tickle Lexa back, like every other person would. Of course she had to go too far. Again.  _ ‘You’re such an idiot Clarke! First you hold her hand, than hug her, almost kissed her after and now you were ready to dry hump her. Just great. Now get your shit together before Lexa feels even more uncomfortable.’  _ So she did what she actually planned to do. Getting revenge for being tickled.

 

The moment Clarke touched Lexa’s sides, she laughed uncontrollably. Who would have thought the ‘commander’ was ticklish as fuck. Lexa was wildly kicking around, trying to get Clarke off her. Of course without any successes. The only thing she did managed was to accidentally lifting up her tank-top. It wasn’t until Lexa nearly managed to get Clarke off that she noticed that something changed. Her hands aren’t feeling any fabric anymore. Instate she feels soft warm skin. Lexa’s skin.

 

‘ _ Shit.’ _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry...  
> I really had a lot on my mind the last couple of weeks.   
> I try to be better and upload faster. 
> 
> As always:   
> Give my amazing Beta-Reader monique1397 some love <3
> 
> And I'm sorry you get no drawing this chap from me, but this picture from eliza was well to fitting. I could've never drawn that better xD  
> Just to make this clear. I wrote this chapter BEFORE I found this pic! xDDD  
> You can't image how I had to laugh xD 
> 
> Love you all <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #warning  
> someone will be hurt this chapter (not Lexa or Clarke)   
> Nobody will die or something, but I want to warn you anyway
> 
> I need this to happen for the later chaps. It will all end well. I promise.

 

‘ _ Shit,’ _ Lexa thought. She had no idea how, but somehow Clarke’s hands happened to be on her waist. On her bare skin to be precise. _ Well, that’s what it feels like _ . Looking down on her stomach she saw Clarke’s hands really weren’t over her tank-top anymore. She probably pulled it up by moving around to much, since the fabric of her tank-top was now ending right under her breast. Which left her stomach completely exposed, including her hard trained abs. Meanwhile Clarke seemed to be just as stunned as Lexa was. Clarke’s hands were still on her waist, but not moving.  _ ‘Why does this feel so nice? She isn’t even doing anything.’ _

 

“Shit, that’s hot,” Clarke blurred out blushing deeply. “Fuck, I-, Never mind.” She rapidly pulled her hands back and sat up between Lexa’s legs.

Lexa was stunned. She actually managed to embarrass Clarke. Maybe Anya was right. Having abs as a girl had its perks. At least when it came to flirting with other girls. It wasn’t like Lexa was shy about her body. It didn’t bother her that Clarke saw her like this. Growing up in the system, she was used to changing in front of others all the time. The only difference here was they would never dare touch her. Not like she’d ever let them. But again, this was Clarke, not just anyone.

 

“Lex,” Clarke almost whined.

“Hm?”

“Would you mind?” Clarke asked, pointing at her tank-top. Lexa blushed.  _ ‘Did she just-’ _ . Seeing that Lexa didn’t get what she meant, Clarke blushed even harder and added, “down.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.” Lexa sat up slightly, with Clarke still between her legs. There were face to face now. Only separated by a few inches.  _ ‘If I’d only lean forw-’ _

“Lex, tank-top. Down. Now,” Clarke warned, trying hard to look Lexa in the eyes.

Lexa quickly pulled her tank-top down, blushing even harder. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It was my fault anyway. I’m sorry. I swear I didn’t mean to do that.”

“What? Tickling me?”

“No, that was deserved revenge. I mean the undressing part.”

“Oh, of course. I know you didn’t do that on purpose.”

“Yeah, and uhm sorry about the bolognese-sauce fight.”

“No worries. I joined you, remember.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

“Okay,” Lexa repeated not knowing what else to say.

 

Silence filled the room. They were still sitting on the ground. Both facing each other, without any sign of wanting to get up soon. The ground wasn’t comfortable, but they enjoyed the moment anyway.

 

A loud ringing interrupted them, but neither of them moved. Lexa knew that it was her phone, but decided to ignore it. It wasn’t until the third ring Clarke finally asked, “don’t you want to answer? It sounds important.” Lexa sighed and got up in order to get her phone. It rang again when she reached it and answered annoyed. “What?”

“Lex?” a small voice asked. A voice Lexa definitely knew.

“Aden?” Lexa asked back almost shocked. She hadn’t heard anything from him for months now. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“I-, I can’t explain right now. We need your help. Like right now. But if you can’t that’s fi-”

“Aden,” Lexa interrupted. Of course she would help him. No matter why, when or how. He was like a little brother to her. She had to protect him at any cost. As long as he let her. “Where are you? And who is ‘we’?”

“I’m with, uhm, a friend.” Aden tried to explain, but Lexa could also hear the ‘I’m not your fucking friend’ in the background. “We’re… uh...”

“Aden. Just send me your position via whats-app, and I’ll come get you two.”

“Uhh… and how do I do that?” Aden asked, but got interrupted. “You’re so useless. I’ll send our position. Bye.” a girl said and hung up.

 

Lexa was confused.  _ ‘What the hell just happened?’ _ Aden never asked for any help and was always the perfect boy. He got adopted months before Lexa. Since then they’ve called each other a couple of times a month. Somehow this all ended 3-4 months ago. Lexa didn’t know why, but Aden always said that he had no time or whatever. Knowing better than to object, she just trusted him and waited for him to call her again. Anya told her he probably just reached the puberty. It made sense, so Lexa let it go.

 

“Lexa? Is everything okay?” Lexa flinched. She didn’t notice Clarke was standing next to her. Not that she stood up at all.

“I-, I don’t know,” Lexa replied rejected. “A friend called me. Nothing important, but I have to go now. Don worry. It will be o-”

“Lex,” Clarke interrupted. “I know that, whatever this is, isn’t okay. You don’t have to tell me, it’s okay. If you want to do it alone,that’s okay too. I’m not stopping you. However, if you need some help, just ask me. It wouldn’t be a problem. You know that, right?”

“I’m sorry-”

“Don’t be. It’s okay. Remember? I don’t like asking for help as well. Or talking about me-, whatever. Not important. Should I just go? Or can I be of any help? You don’t need to do anything alone. I’m here for you.”

“I-, okay. You’re right,” Lexa sighed. There really wasn’t a reason why she shouldn’t tell Clarke. “I already told you I grew up in the system. There was a boy, Aden. He was living in the same group home as mine. It wasn’t always nice and well… we stuck together. And I have no idea what happened, but he needs my help.”

“Okay, so where is he?”

“I don’t know. The girl he’s with wanted to send me their location.” Just when she said it she got a new message.

“Okay, so we have the location. Let’s go.” Lexa didn’t answer and followed Clarke without question.

 

They were walking for about ten minutes until they saw Aden sitting on a bench with a girl.

“Aden!” Lexa pulled him into her arms. She was worried sick. Clarke often had to assure her that everything was going tol be fine. Else, Lexa would’ve gone mad.

“Lex. I. Can’t. Breath.” Aden whined.

Lexa slowly let go of Aden. “Sorry. What happened? Are you hurt?”

“I’m okay, but Ontari isn’t,” he said while pointed at the girl next to him.

Lexa turned to the girl, noticing Clarke was already in front of her.

 

“Hey,” Clarke said, and eyed her skeptically.

“Don’t bother. I’m okay. This jerk just doesn’t believe me,” the girl replied annoyed.

“A jerk? For helping you?” Clarke asked.

“I don’t need his or your help. Just leave me alone,” Ontari snapped.

“Clearly. Lexa?” Clarke turned to Lexa who only glared at Ontari for calling Aden a jerk. “We need to get her to the hospital.”

“What? NO! I’m fine!” Ontari panicked. She instantly held her head in pain. “Fuck!”

“You should stop yelling and any rapid movement. It’ll only make it worst. Look, I don’t know why you don’t want to go to the hospital or what happened, but you really need to be looked after. So, either you give me a really good reason why we can’t go, or I’ll carry you there myself.”

“Try me. I’m not going. No matter what.”

“She can’t because her adoptive mother did this. If she goes to the hospital they’ll call her,” Aden explained.

“ADEN! Why-” Ontari yelled, but regretted it instantly.

“Didn’t I just tell you not to yell?” Clarke lectured.

“Fuck off. Just go! I can handle it. It’s just a headache.”

“Right, Of course. And your bruises are only decoration? Maybe makeup?”

At this Ontari went silent. Too silent for Clarke’s liking. “Ontari? Hey!”

“Clarke? What’s wrong?” Lexa asked worried, but Ontari was already falling into Clarke’s arms.

“Shit,” Clarke hissed. “Lex, can you hold her up?” She then turned to Aden. “Did she tell you what else hurts? Or what happened? I need to know before we carry her home.”

Lexa gave a questioning look, but didn’t object. She did as she was told and moved in front of Ontari to hold up the unconsciousness girl. Aden on the other hand looked as if he could start crying any moment. “Her left hand. It was bleeding. I don’t know what really happened. I just know she can’t go back to this monster.” He was now sobbing. “Will-, will she be okay?”

“Yes, Aden. You’ve done everything right,” Clarke assured him and took her phone out. “Be right back.”

“Wait! You can’t call an ambulance! They will bring her back to her!” Aden cried out.

“Aden. She is unconsciousness. We need-” Lexa tried to explain.

“Don’t worry Aden. I will only call my mother. She is a doctor. There is no way I’d let her go back,” Clarke promised and called her mother.

 

–

 

Clarke felt heartbroken. Whatever happened to this girl was serious. She was sure that Ontari had at least a concussion and hoped that nothing was broken. Calling her mother was nothing she looked forward to, but this girl needed help. Badly.

After the 3 rd ring her mother answered the phone.

“Clarke?” her mother asked.

“Hey, mom. Are you in the hospital right now?”

“No, I’m on my way home. I just got into my car. Why?”

“I need your help.”

“What happened? Are you okay,” Abby asked after a short pause.

“I am. Look, I can’t explain right now, but I’m with a girl and she really needs to be treated. From what I can see she has a least a concussion and just lost consciousness.”

“Then what are you waiting for? Call an ambulance! She needs to go to the hospital.”

“That’s the problem. We can’t. Please. Can you come to my home? We’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“But-”

“Mom,” Clarke interrupted her mother. “Please. Trust me just once and help her. For me.”

“Okay. I’ll be there,” her mother finally agreed and hung up.

 

Clarke turned back to a still sobbing Aden and Lexa, who already had Ontari on her back. “You’re sure you can carry her?” Lexa only rolled her eye’s and gave Clarke a knowing look and then looked down at her stomach. “Yeah, got it. Dumb question.”

Lexa started walking towards their homes. “So what’s the plan?”

“My mother will be hopefully able to help her. To be honest, I have no idea what to do afterwards. We can’t just let her stay at my home forever, but she can’t go back either. We need to do something about her adoptive parents, though. Anyway, let’s focus on getting her better first.”

Lexa and Aden nodded and continued walking towards Clarke’s home.

 

Clarke could already see her mother leaning against her car from afar. Ontari woke up short after they started their journey home. Telling them she feels strange and dizzy. Fortunately she didn’t lost consciousness again.

 

“Clarke,” Clarke’s mother simply said already moving towards the girl on Lexa’s back.

“Mom, this is Lexa and Aden. The girl on Lexa’s back is Ontari. Guys, that’s my mother Abby,” Clarke introduced pointing at each one of them and moved to open her front door. “Come in. We have a free guest room she can sleep in. Follow me.”

Lexa and Aden followed Clarke without question. Her mother on the other hand was shocked. “Clarke? What is going on here? They’re kid’s! They should be home at this hour.”

“Can we talk about that later? I wouldn’t do this, if it wasn’t for a good reason. So Truce? Just for now?” Clarke asked already annoyed.

“Okay, but we will talk about that later.”

“Thank’s mom.”

 

Clarke led them into an almost empty room with one small bed and a small closet. Lexa moved in and carefully placed Ontari on the bed. It hurt to see her little brother feeling so helpless. Clarke must have noticed it too and placed her arm around Lexa. “Everything will be fine,” Clarke whispered into Lexa’s ear.

 

“Okay, I need some space. You two please wait outside,” Abby pointed at Lexa and Aden. “Clarke you stay and help me.”

Aden and Ontari both objected instantly, which shocked them more than the rest.

“It will not take long, but I have to undress her. Furthermore you would only stand in the way,” Abby explained making Aden blush strongly. “I will not hurt your girlfriend Aden. She’s safe-”

“I’m not his fucking girlfriend!” “She’s not my girlfriend!” Ontari and Aden answered in unison, which made Abby chuckle.

Lexa only glared at Ontari, but pushed Aden outside giving Abby and Clarke the room they need.

 

“Okay honey. We’ll need to undress you now. I know it will be hard for you, but I need to know what happened,” Abby said helping the girl to lift up her shirt.

“I-...” Ontari started to explain, while Clarke and Abby slowly start working.

 

–

 

“What if she won’t get better? What if I was too late?” Aden was crying in Lexa’s arms the moment they left the room. They sat down in the living room, waiting for Clarke and Abby to come back.

“You have nothing to worry about. They will help her,” Lexa tried to calm down Aden.

“But what-”

“Aden. If Clarke says she will be okay, she will be. You can trust her,” Lexa assured him. “You want to tell me what happened?”

Aden sighed. He knows that he has to tell Lexa at some point or another. “Ontari and I do to the same school. Well she is one year ahead, but I still know her. She never met her real parents and got adopted when she was little,” he explained. “I don’t know what’s happened to her all this time. All I know is that she always has bruises, but never talks about them. She always wears long clothes, so the others wouldn’t notice. Her ‘mother’ even managed to release her permanent from sport lessons, because Ontari couldn’t change her clothes without them noticing.”

 

“So you knew for quite some time. What changed? I wouldn’t expect her to listen to you before. Why now?” Lexa wondered worried. Ontari might not be her favorite so far, but nobody deserved to be treated like this.

 

“Today… She come in late to school and her face was bruised. That’s never happened before. I’ve seen bruises on her arms and legs, but never on her face. Not where others could see them. Some teachers asked, but she just said they should see the other one.” Aden told her angry. “I tried to talk to her after school, since she hates to be seen with me. You know, because I’m younger and all. Anyway, she wasn’t insulting me like always. She even called me by my name. Not a stupid nickname.”

 

“You sure feel protective over someone who treats you badly.”

“Yeah, I care about her. She reminds me of you actually. All the acting tough thing and getting easily misunderstood. Plus, nobody is born bad. How life treats us is what makes us evil.”

“You still have a choice, Aden. Blaming your life for your own behavior isn’t changing anything. Either choose to become evil like the ones you hate, or be better and become someone people look up to.”

“You’ve changed,” Aden noted.

“Maybe.”

“Is Clarke the reason?”

“No, my family is. I actually just meet Clarke today. We’ve been writing for a few days now, though.” Aden’s eyes widened after Lexa finished her sentence. “What?” Lexa asked insecure.

“I’m so sorry! If I’d known that you were on a date, let alone your first, I would’ve never called you.”

“What? That-, This-, We’re not dating!” Lexa disagreed.

“Ah, right. Next time, tell me that without blushing that hard and I might believe you.”

“Aden!”

“What? I’m 14, not 5.”

“Pfff, you’re one to talk. What about your little girlfriend?”

“Really Lex? She is not my girlfriend. Just because I care about her, doesn’t mean I have to date her. I care about you as well. Does that make you my girlfriend?” Aden grinned and added, “because I wouldn’t mind.”

“Urgh, Aden. Got it. No need for suggestions like that.”

“Just saying~”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

“Don’t worry Lex. I’m happy for you. Clarke seems to be a good girl. Not everyone would do this on their first date.”

“This was not a date!”

“Yeah, right. My bad. Let me rephrase that. Not everyone would do this on their first ‘totally not a date but sure feels like one’ meeting.”

“Seriously?”

“Lex, everyone who knows you, would say the same. It’s not like you to act this way around someone you barely know.”

“I don’t treat her different.”

“Really? From how she behaved, you already told her who I am. That is something you would never randomly tell someone. Not without trusting them first. The important fact however was that you let her help you. You tend to solve your problems yourself. Always.”

“She just offered, because she was there when you called.”

“Hm, and the fact that she can put her arms around you, without you flinching is non-relevant as well? It may have gone better, but I don’t believe you’re okay with someone getting near you all the time.”

“No…,” Lexa blushed again.

“See, you do like her.”

“Isn’t that weird?”

“What do you mean?”

“Because she’s a girl and I only just met her and all. I didn’t even know I might like girls that way a few day prior.”

“You shouldn’t love someone because of their gender, Lex. Love is love. No matter what. Nobody should judge you for loving someone.”

“But-”

“No buts. I don’t say you’re in love with her, but it would be a lie to say you don’t like her at least a tiny bit.”

“Hmm...”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“What were you doing when I called? You didn’t sound happy.”

“Uhm, we… We were fighting.”

“Fighting? But you didn’t seemed angry. What happened?”

“No, not like that. We had a kinda tickle fight...”

“A tickle fight.”

“Yeah...”

“You. Tickling.”

“Yeah...”

“You hate that.”

“Well, I did before.”

“But you don’t hate it when Clarke does?”

“I-”

“Who won?”

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“What you mean by winning.”

“Well the one on top usually wins.” A blushing Lexa and the silence was enough as in answer for Aden. “Uhhh that girl has some guts, pinning down the commander. I already like her.”

“I-”

 

“Aden?” Clarke interrupted them. “You can come in.”

Aden quickly stood up after getting a nod from Lexa and walked into Ontari’s room. Clarke slowly sat down next to Lexa and sighed.

“Is she okay?” Lexa asked worried. Clarke looked really exhausted.

“She will be. My mother gave her some pills to ease the pain. We still have to figure out what to do now.”

“Was it bad?”

“Bad enough for my mother to agree that she can’t go back.” Clarke stated and already saw Abby walking out of the room as well.

“You’re Lexa, right?” Abby asked, getting a chair and sat down in front of them.

“Yes.”

“Can I ask what happened?”

“Aden called me saying he needed help. Then we found him with the girl, Ontari, and brought them here.”

“So you don’t know her. How do you know Aden?”

“We both grew up in the system and lived in the same group home. He got adopted more than a year ago, though. Ontari got adopted as well, but I don’t know what happened to her. All Aden told me was that her adoptive mother is responsible for her injuries.”

“Do his parents know where he is?”

“He told them he was at a friend’s place and stayed over. We just have to worry about Ontari.”

“Yeah, about that. I think we need to inform the police. Whoever this Nia is, she needs to get punished for it. Ontari was lucky to have Aden. I don’t know what would’ve happened, without him.”

“Nia Winters?” Lexa asked worried.

“You know her?”

“Sadly. She is my sister’s boss. Which means we have to be careful. That woman is bad news.”

“Okay. We can’t just let her stay here. Nia will search for her and we can’t do anything when she finds her. She’s still legally her daughter.” Abby explained. “We also need to get her to the hospital. I won’t feel good without getting a proper look at her. I can ease her pain now, but I need to know for sure if something is broken or permanently damaged. You don’t mess with head injuries.”

“It won’t be that easy. Nia has one of the best lawyers and it will probably end badly no matter what we do. As long as she’s the only one to rat her to the police.”

“You sound like you have an idea.”

“I know that she had a huge dispute with her oldest son Roan. Maybe he could be helpful. My sister probably knows where to find him. They used to work together. I’m sure she could help us.”

“I can call Bellamy. He’s a cop. Maybe he could be helpful as well,” interjected Clarke.

“That would help a lot. I’m sorry to rope you into this whole mess,” Lexa replied grateful.

“Don’t worry Lexa. Clarke attracts situations like this all the time. She got that protective instinct from her father. Nothing we can do about it,” Abby stated.

“You let it sound as if it’s a bad thing,” Clarke snapped.

“I didn’t say that. It’s just not wise from time to time.”

“I’m sorry that I’m not some ignorant b-” Before Clarke could finish her sentence Lexa took Clarke’s hand in hers, slowly rubbing the back of her hand to calm her down. “Sorry,” Clarke said instead. “I really don’t want to fight anymore.”

“It’s okay, sweetie. I shouldn’t have mentioned Jake,” Abby acknowledged and smiled sadly at Clarke. “I know I did a lot of things wrong, but you should know that I would help you as much as I can.”

“I know mom. I do trust you.”

“Speaking of trust. You never told me you have a girlfriend.”

Both Clarke and Lexa blushed. Clarke instinctively must have intertwined their hands at some point. “We’re-, She’s not my girlfriend mom.”

“I wonder for how long,” Abby whispered sarcastically knowing full well that something was off with this two.

“What did you just say?”

“Nothing, sweetie,” Abby replied. “I’m sorry, but I really need to go now. Long shift and all. You can call me if you need my help.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, mom. You can stay in Raven’s room. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.”

“Are you sure?” Abby yawned.

“Yeah, let me help you put clean sheets on. Be right back, Lex.” Lexa only nodded at Clarke in response.

 

–

 

Abby followed Clarke into Raven’s room. It was obvious that her mother was really exhausted. Clarke picked out clean sheets and begun putting them on. She knew that her mother probably worked again for days without taking any breaks. Normally she works until she nearly collapses.  _ ‘Some things never change’ _ Clarke thought.

 

“Are you sure Lexa is good for you?” Abby asked. Clarke turned around knowing what her mother was trying to imply. “Don’t worry, mom. We’re just friends.”

“Who are you trying to convince here? Yourself or me?”

“I-, I’ve only  known her for a few days.”

“And you still think it’s a good idea to get dragged into situations like this. I just want to know, if she is worth all this trouble.”

“I’m not discussing what I’m willing to do for my friends.”

“I’m just asking Clarke. I’m only worried.”

“Mom, I’m fine. No matter what you say, it won’t change anything. If you don’t want to help, don’t. I’m really happy that you did, but if this is too much for you-,”

“Clarke. I will help you. This is the first time you’ve called me in months. Not to mention that I can’t remember a single time you asked me for help.”

“Maybe-, maybe I would ask and talk to you more, if you would stop objecting to everything I’m doing,” Clarke said after finishing the bed and left the room.

 

Clarke knew her mother would disagree again. Knew her mother would tell her and Lexa all of this isn’t worth Clarke’s time. She almost wondered why her mother didn’t tell her to kick them all out and use the time for something important. Like studying. All in all it went better than she thought.

 

Lexa was still waiting on the couch in the living room. She was writing with someone when Clarke sat down next to her. Slowly turning around, Lexa looked at her worried.

“You’re okay? I’m sorry I dragged you into this mess and you had to deal with your mom.”

“Everything's fine. It was my choice, remember?”

Lexa looked at her deep in the eyes as if she could see right through her. “Did something happen with her?”

“Hm? Just the usual arguments. Nothing to worry about, Lex.”

“You wouldn’t have needed to call her without me. So all of this is my fault. But even if it weren’t, I would still worry.”

“Lexa,” Clarke said softly. “This is not your fault. You didn’t make Nia treat her daughter that way. It’s her fault, not yours. All you did was react to what Nia did. Don’t blame yourself. Friends are supposed to help each other.”

“But-”

“No buts Lex,” Clarke stated. “Did you manage to reach Anya?”

“Yes, she said she would come here, if that’s okay with you.”

“Mi casa, es su casa. She can stay the night if she wants. If she’s okay with taking the couch, that is.”

“I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.” Lexa send Anya a quick message, telling her she can come around. “Can you extend the couch? I don’t think Anya and I will fit together.”

“Nope, but we can share my bed. It’s big enough for two.” Lexa’s eye’s went wide. “Purely platonic of course. I wouldn’t mind sharing with Anya,” Clarke stammered. “I don’t think Raven would want to find me with her lover in my bed again, though. Or you two get my bed and I’ll sleep here. But you have to stay at my home, because of Aden.”

“It’s okay. We-, we can share. I’m not doing to kick you out of your own bed, Clarke.”

“Are you sure?”

“You’re not a blanket thief, are you?”

“I try to behave.”

“Why do I have a feeling you’re going to steal them anyway?”

“Pff, give me some credit, commander.”

“I’m sorry my queen. I’ll try to do better.”

“Damn right you will.”

Lexa only grinned in response and looked towards the room Aden and Ontari were in. “I lied to your mother. Aden didn’t call his parents.”

“I figured. You’re not a good liar, but I think my mother was to tired to care.”

“I don’t see the point in lying, therefor never practice it. The truth needs to be told one way or another. It will hurt anyway. Waiting will only increase the pain.”

“Lies are like ripping of a band-aid. The more you wait, the more it will hurt..” Clarke agreed. “Good to know that I can count on you being honest.”

“I’m not known as a sweet talker, so yeah. You can.”

 

“Gosh, what’s wrong with you guys.” Anya interrupted them, still having Ravens keys. “I knew why I had to worry about my little sis here, but now I understand why you’re friends have to worry about you as well.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Clarke argued.

“We planned a fucking blind-date for you and instead of making-out, you mess everything up! What the hell are you thinking? Fighting Nia? Are you dumb? We wanted to get you to together, not watch you die!”

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting a bit?” Clarke asked.

“Do you have any idea who Nia is? What she can do? I don’t work for her because she’s nice or because she pays good. No. I’m fucking terrified. You don’t move against her! Never!”

“You don’t expect me to watch this girl get hurt, do you?”

“Clarke, you don’t want this. Believe me.”

“Oh I do.”

“No you don’t.”

“Either you’ll help us or not.”

“God you’re even more stubborn than Raven. Lexa! Tell her this is insane!” Anya turned towards her sister.

“Huh?” Lexa asked lost in thought.

“Really Lexa? Can you stop eye-fucking her for a second? I know you love Aden, but Nia-”

 

“She’s right,” a low voice said behind them.

“Ontari! Abby said you shouldn’t stand up,” Aden yelped trying to hold her back.

“He’s right Ontari. You shouldn’t move around,” Clarke confirmed standing up. “Come here. At least sit down.”

Ontari slowly moved towards the couch and sat down next to Lexa. Aden never left her side and was ready to catch her, if she would lose consciousness again. “Did the pills help?” Clarke asked.

Ontari nodded slowly, since her head still hurt.

“This bitch!” Anya yelled after seeing Ontari’s bruised face.

“Anya! Language!” Lexa scolded.

“Shut up Lex, I know Aden is basically your kid, but do you see that girls face? What the fuck did this bitch do to you?”

“It doesn’t matter. Just let me get back home and everything will be okay. I never should've listened to Aden in the first place. I can handle myself just fine.” Ontari objected.

“I can see that,” Anya replied sarcastically.

“Can you all stop fighting? Aden, bring Ontari back into bed and make sure she stays there,” Aden nodded and dragged an angry Ontari towards their room. “Can I count on you behaving Ontari? Believe me you don’t want to mess with my mom.” Ontari only rolled her eyes in response. “Look, I know you’re a runner. I am too, but you’re not going to solve your problems like this. Try sleeping a bit. You wouldn’t get far with injuries like this anyway. Or do you want to lose consciousness in the middle of the street and be found by the police? I’m sure Nia will be happy to answer their questions about you.” Ontari only stared at Clarke, but followed Aden anyway.

 

After Ontari and Aden left the room again, Anya fixed her gaze on Clarke’s chest. Clarke looked down at her chest as well, not knowing what Anya was looking at. “Why are you wearing Lexa’s favorite hoodie?”

“I, uh-,” Clarke stammered. “Our clothes got dirty.”

Anya raised an eyebrow. “While fighting! Not what you think! We-” Lexa tried to explain before Anya got the wrong idea.

“Fighting? That’s what you folks call that now? Anyway, who’s the bottom?”

“Anya!” Lexa yelled now red as well.

“So you’re the bottom,” Anya stated.

“What? We didn’t do anything dirty! And even if, I’m not a bottom!” Anya just looked over at a now laughing Clarke. “Clarke! That’s not funny!” Lexa whined.

“Sorry, Lex, but-,” Clarke continued laughing. “You’re the epitome of a bottom.”

“Uhhh, that must’ve hurt,” Anya was now laughing as well.

“I hate you both.”

“No you don’t” both said in union.

“Don’t we have better things to do?” Lexa sulked. “Like planning how to help Ontari?”

“Ah right. I called Roan. He isn’t at home right now, but could be here tomorrow. Saying we should wait for him and not do anything stupid. Plus, he advises to watch Ontari. She isn’t a bad girl, but needs guidance.”

“So there’s nothing we can do now?”

“Not really. We should sleep and continue tomorrow. I’ll take the couch and stay awake. You two can leave it to me. I’ll make sure Ontari won’t leave this house.”

Lexa rolled her yes. She remembered Anya doing the same, when she got adopted by Indra and Gustus. “You don’t have to stay up alone. I could-”

“I will stay awake anyway. Raven slept most of  today, means she can’t sleep at night. Believe me, you don’t want to listen to us talking.”

“Uh-, let’s go Clarke,” Lexa stand up and waited for Clarke.

“You can find a spare blanket in the bedding box. If you need anything my room is upstairs. First room on the right,” Clarke explained and lead Lexa into her room.

 

Before Clarke opened her room she turned around to Lexa. “I need to warn you. The reason I gave my mother Raven’s room was because I don’t want her to see mine. If you think our living room was messy, you will probably run away after seeing mine. So, I would offer you to shower, bath or something before you come in.”

“It’s fine Clarke. As long as I don’t see things living, which shouldn’t, I’m fine.”

“Well, I warned you.” Clarke opened the door and moved inside. Lexa wasn’t far behind, but stopped in the middle of the room. It was full of pictures, drawings and all kind of canvases, pencils, brushes and everything an artists needs.

“This is amazing, Clarke.” Lexa wasn’t able to take her eye’s of the walls. Clarke smiled at Lexa, enjoying being praised for something she really loved to do. She normally didn’t talk about painting anymore. People tend to tell her that this is a nice hobby, but nothing more. It’s not like they don’t think Clarke is talented. The problem was that Clarke was just as smart and being a doctor is way more secure than being an artist. She would earn more money and didn’t have to worry about paying her monthly bills. While painting was her dream, she knew they were probably right. Why risk the chance of an actually job for a stupid dream?

Lexa was now standing right before some paintings and took a closer look at one of her favorite drawings. It showed Octavia and Raven on a motorcycle.

“The girl in front of Octavia is Raven,” Clarke said closing the door to her room.

“Raven? But I thought-”

“I drew that before the accident,” Clarke explained. “She can’t drive it anymore. Well, she shouldn’t. Raven isn’t easily stopped.” Lexa turned around obviously shocked. “What?”

“You drew this?” Lexa asked turning back to the pictures.

“Actually I drew every single picture in this room.”

“You did what? Wow, you’re amazing. I mean even more amazing than before, like-,”

Clarke couldn’t help but chuckle. “It’s okay, Lex. I get it. It’s just a hobby, though. My life is on my desktop.”

Lexa turned towards her desktop. It was covered in papers and books about medicine. “That’s your job Clarke. Not your life.”

“Being a doctor and having a life, doesn’t work well together. My mother is the best example.”

“Is that what you actually want to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“You told me that your mother wants you to be a doctor. Not you.”

“We can’t always be what we want. Being an artist was a dream.”

“No Clarke. It’s your passion. I know it’s not my place to say, but you shouldn’t become a doctor for the wrong reasons.”

“I do want to help people.”

“Who says you can’t do that with painting?”

“Like?”

“I don’t know. I’m sure there is some kind therapy with pictures or something. But you should definitely continue drawing.”

“My mother would hate me.”

“This is your life. Not your mother’s.”

“Hmm...”

“You don’t have to listen to me Clarke. But this is amazing. You’re only wasting your talent. I couldn’t even draw a stick-figure.” Clarke snorted at Lexa. “That’s not funny Clarke. It was quite depressing as a child. Anyway, we should sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day.”

“You’re probably right. Do you mind sharing a blanked? I would give Aden my second one. Don’t want him to freeze. He already has to sleep on a chair.”

Lexa turned around looking at Clarke’s bed. It was a king-size-bed with 2 blankets on it. “Did you seriously stack your blankets?”

“Hey! I told you I easily get cold.”

“I can see that. I fear for getting any blanket at all.”

“If you get too cold you can always cuddle me.” Lexa blushed, but surprisingly nodded anyway. Clarke smirked and picked out some sleeping clothes for Lexa. “Here. You can wear this. I’ll be back. You can change here or in the bathroom. The bathroom is on the other side. Be right back.”

 

Clarke took the blanket and went downstairs. She stopped when she heard Anya gently saying ‘I wish you could be here as well, Raven’. Even though Clarke was happy Raven finally found someone, she never expected Anya to be so supportive about her surgeries. It didn’t exactly fit Anya’s image, but it didn’t fit Raven’s either. She knew Anya heard her when she turned around with pink cheeks. Clarke just winked at her and smiled softly. Anya mumbled something Clarke couldn’t understand and continued walking towards Aden’s and Ontari’s room.

 

Clarke tapped on the door before she came in. Ontari was sound asleep, while Aden held her hand. It didn’t look comfortable, but Aden was sleeping as well. When Clarke put the blanket around Aden she thought she woke him up, but he was only speaking in his sleep. “Have... to... protect... Tari...”

_ ‘Gosh, this boy is sooooo cute. Just like my Lexa. Wait! No Clarke! You seriously have to stop thinking that way.’ _

 

She left them alone and went back into her room, where Lexa was already waiting for her. Somehow it felt odd seeing her in her clothes. Not the bad kind of odd, though. It felt actually nice seeing her in her clothes. Just like it felt extremely nice wearing Lexa’s hoodie. When Anya told her, this was Lexa’s favorite it felt even better.

 

Lexa was sitting on her chair at her desktop and was looking at one of Clarke’s favorite pictures. It showed Clarke with her father when she was still a little kid. She was wearing a lioness costume her father made her himself. It was one of the best moments she shared with her father.

 

“That’s my father. If that wasn’t obvious,” Clarke said, startling Lexa.

“I’m sorry. I just-, you look so happy in this picture.”

Clarke nodded with a sad smile. She missed her father a lot, but knew he was in a better place now. Lexa slowly got up and pulled Clarke into her arms. It didn’t take long until Clarke returned the hug. After a while she let go of Lexa. She really was tired and knows that Lexa was as well. Picking out some clothes for herself to sleep in she started undressing. Lexa was blushing again and quickly turned around, giving Clarke some privacy.

“You know I don’t have anything you haven’t seen before, right?”

But Lexa didn’t turn back around, nor did she answer. Not that Clarke minded. Lexa’s ears were red enough as an answer. She quickly changed her clothes and was now wearing some sweatpants and a t-shirt.

“You can turn around now,” Clarke said. “Let’s get you a spare toothbrush.”

 

Lexa followed Clarke outside into the bathroom. Clarke gave her a new toothbrush and they start brushing their teeth together. Thinking back Clarke couldn’t help but wonder how all of this happened. They weren’t even supposed to meet and here they are brushing their teeth together and were about to sleep. Together. In the same bed. Like an old married couple. Not in a bad way of course. She just felt so comfortable around Lexa.

 

They finished cleaning up and walked back to Clarke’s room. Lexa waited for Clarke to get into the bed first, not knowing which side Clarke prefers and laid down next to her. They twisted the blanket so it would cover both of them, without needing to cuddle closely.

 

“Lex?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for today.”

“What are you thanking me for?”

“For a great time.”

“Great time? I made you ask your mother for help, even though you have problems with her. Not to mention I dragged you into something that shouldn’t be your concern.”

“I don’t regret helping your brother, nor this poor girl. I would’ve help them without you as well. Don’t blame yourself,” Clarke assured her. “And I had a great time. Your former dates must’ve been jerks. If this would’ve been a real date, it also would’ve been one of my favorites.”

“I’m still sorry. And I beg you differ. I’m not good at this whole dating thing.”

“Why? We watched a movie, you cooked for me, you meet my family, I invited you home and you’re even staying the night. All in all very impressive. I don’t think anyone ever managed that with me.”

“Except my sister made you invite me in. Or that I cooked for you, because your place is a mess and you need to eat more regularly. I didn’t even meet your mother, because you wanted to introduce me but because my brothers friend needed her help.”

“Don’t be so negative. You still managed to share a bed with me. Still a success, if you ask me.”

“I may not have much experience, but normally you have to at least kiss the girl, before you can call all of this a real success.”

“You don’t always have to kiss on the first date. There is nothing wrong with waiting. Besides, the day isn’t over yet. You still got a chance.”

“A chance for what?”

“Kissing me.”

Both of them went silent after this. It was too dark in the room to see the others expression. It felt like hours until Lexa showed some kind of reaction. “Yeah, right. Funny, I thought you really meant that for a second,” she awkwardly chuckled.

“Joke, yeah. Right, you got me” Clarke answered just as awkward. “We better sleep now. Good night Lexa.” She quickly turned around, facing the wall.  _ ‘Why can’t I just shut up?’ _

Lexa was still looking at Clarke after she turned around. Clarke could feel Lexa’s hand was moving towards Clarke’s arm. Deep down Clarke hoped that Lexa would get the message and pull her into her arms. She didn’t wanted to take the first step. It wasn’t the first time she ruined something before it even started. Besides Lexa said she doesn’t like girls this way, even though she didn’t act like it. Which means leaving the first step to Lexa was the only safe way, not to get hurt again.

 

Unfortunately Lexa pulled her hands back, before it touched Clarke’s arm. She quickly turned around as well after quietly saying “Good night” as well.

 

‘ _ This will be one hell of a night.’ _

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it ;D  
> I'm sorry for the drama, but it will be important. 
> 
> Stay tuned <3  
> Love you all
> 
> And thanks to my lovely beta-reader!  
> Also thanks for every single commant. You really keep me going!  
> It still feels so unreal that so many people are actually reading this.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who needs sleep anyway?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Promised extra Clexa fluff <3

“Kissing me.”

Lexa’s mind went blank. There is no way Clarke just said that. She must have heard that wrong. How could she not? Why would someone like Clarke want to kiss her? _‘Wait, maybe it was only a joke? That would make sense. Pff, as if she want’s someone like me. She could have anyone.’_

 

“Yeah, right. Funny, I even thought you really meant that for a second,” Lexa awkwardly chuckled trying to find it funny. Which she didn't, but she didn’t want to make things unnecessarily complicated. Clarke would never want her. That was for sure.

“Joke, yeah. Right, you got me” Clarke answered just as awkward. “We better go to sleep now. Good night Lexa.” She quickly turned around, facing the wall.

 

Lexa was confused. She was sure it was only meant to be a joke. Why was Clarke acting as if Lexa said something wrong? If Lexa didn’t know any better, she’d even say Clarke looked hurt. Did she really want Lexa to kiss her? Maybe this was normal behavior for Clarke? It was only a kiss. Kissing Lexa wouldn’t be any special anyway. Clarke had already dated a few people and surely knew how to get what she wanted. _‘Is she sad because I turned her down? Maybe she’s not used to get rejected? Should I ask what's wrong? Should I just kiss her now? But how should I do that? What if I’m just imagining things? What am I supposed to do?’_

 

Lexa was clueless. Even if she wanted to kiss Clarke, she had no idea how. It’s not like she’s never been kissed, but she was never the one to initiate it. What if kissing a girl was different? She never liked kissing boys. Their lips are as coarse as sandpaper. Not to mention they always try to shove in their tongue down her throat the moment their lips meet. Nothing she looks forward to.

 

Still Lexa tried to be brave. _‘Maybe she’ll turn around and talk to me? Or kiss me?’_ She slowly moved her hand towards Clarke’s arm, but stopped before she touched it. _‘But what do I do if I misunderstood her? Wouldn’t things just turn more awkward? We still have to share a bed… It could make her uncomfortable...’_

 

Lexa lost her confidence and pulled her hand back. She knew she probably wasn’t going to sleep at all, but it was still better than wasting her chance with Clarke. The last thing Lexa wanted was to destroy her friendship with Clarke. They may not have known each other for long, but Clarke was already important to her. She understood her in ways others couldn’t. Except her family of course. Quickly turning around, she tried to calm herself. It was terrifying how much she wanted Clarke close. Aden and Anya were right, actually wanting to hug or being hugged by someone was a big deal for her. So why didn’t that apply for Clarke as well? Why did she want to have her close so badly?

A couple of days ago she would’ve claimed there was no way she could ever like woman. At least, not romantically. And here she was a couple of days later, wanting nothing more than Clarke to kiss her or even hug her.

 

Maybe Clarke just had this effect on people. She already told Lexa that she was one of the more popular kids. Lexa knows Clarke often got reduced to her body, which Lexa certainly wouldn’t do. Sure, she couldn’t deny that Clarke was aesthetically pleasing, but she was so much more. She never thought someone could be as selfless as Clarke. Aside from the shocking awareness that Clarke really liked to spend time with her, she also offered her help without a second thought. Clarke didn’t even know what kind of help Lexa needed. Who would do that for someone she barely knew? That was insane!

 

Lexa didn’t know how to describe Clarke in any way other than special. She’s never met anyone quite like Clarke. How could someone be so kind, caring and offering? Helping Lexa was one thing, but she helped Ontari and Aden as well. Even called her mother, which she has problems with, just to help Ontari. Someone she’s never met before. It didn’t matter who was in need of help. Clarke would offer it anyway.

 

Summarized, Lexa had no idea how she deserved being with Clarke. She was none of those things. Of course she would help Aden, but for entirely different reasons. Aden was her family and therefore important to her. He was one of the few people she saw as her people. People she would protect at any cost. Ontari, however, wasn’t. She was aware that Ontari needed help. Needed to get away from Nia. But that didn’t mean she would endanger her sister and Aden in order to help Ontari. Aden would’ve probably protested, since Ontari seemed to be just as important to him as Aden is to Lexa. Lexa would prefer being hated by Aden than losing him because of Ontari’s problems. Maybe it was selfish, maybe it was wise. Perhaps she was nothing more than a coward. Who is there to judge? She didn’t care about others opinion. At least not when it came protecting the ones she loved.

 

Clarke was different. She’d jump into a raging fire without a second thought. No matter who or what. Lexa admired Clarke for her selflessness. Under normal circumstances Lexa would brush it off as naive. This, however, was Clarke. Someone who already endured so much pain in her short life. While Lexa shut the world out, Clarke never lost her hope in people. This was one of the few things that made Clarke special. As well as it made Lexa, in her opinion, unworthy of Clarke’s affection.

 

Lexa was too lost in her thoughts to notice Clarke being wide awake, facing Lexa’s back.

“Lex?” Clarke asked grumpily.

“Hm?”

“You know it’s kind of hypocritical to accuse me of being a blanket thief, when you’re the one actually stealing it.” Lexa indeed found herself being completely wrapped in the blanket, which left Clarke without any at all.

 

“It’s okay. But would you mind sharing again? Because it’s kinda cold here,” Clarke teased.

“Yeah, of course.” Lexa replied embarrassed. Slowly Lexa turned around, but stopped holding up the blanket when she noticed that she was face to face with Clarke. Clarke was still shivering but Lexa couldn’t help herself, and stared  at Clarke. The room was only lighted by the soft moonlight through Clarke’s windows, but it was enough to see clearly. Seeing Clarke in sleeping clothes laying right next to her was probably too much for poor little Lexa’s heart. No wonder she forgot what she was supposed to do. Again.

 

“Will this become a habit?” Clarke smirked at Lexa’s reaction.

“Huh?”

“Me telling you to do something and you stopping the moment you look me in the eyes.”

“I-”

“Relax, but please share some of the blanket with be before you get into full thinking mood again. I’m freezing. Literally.”

“Oh, Sorry, I-”

“Lex. Chill and give me some of the damn blanket. Or come here and warm me up,” Clarke laughed.

This time Lexa didn’t need to be told twice. She already fucked up the kissing invitation. Even if this was a joke again, Clarke wouldn’t mind cuddling anyway. That’s something they’d already done. A couple of times actually. Nothing to worry about. Slowly Lexa crawled forward, until they were only a few inches away from each other. Lexa took a deep breath and reached for Clarke pulling the blanket around them. Sadly, Lexa didn’t have it in her to close the short distance between their body’s. She didn’t know if she should pull Clarke into her embrace or let Clarke hold her. All she knew was that she couldn’t stay lying face to face with Clarke. It’d only make it harder for Lexa to think straight. _‘’Straight’ isn’t probably the best word to use anymore,’_ Lexa corrected herself.

 

–

 

Clarke was waiting patiently for Lexa’s next move. Clarke never would’ve thought Lexa would take the invite. This time however, it really was meant as a joke. Not that Clarke wanted to complain. Who could possibly turn down a Lexa in cuddle mode? She didn’t want to be the one initializing intimacy all the time. So she waited. And waited. And waited. _‘Ah fuck it,_ ’ Clarke thought running out of patience. Patience was never one of her good characteristics.

“You know I’m normally good at reading people, but sometimes your behavior confuses me. I have no idea when I crossed a line, or did you a favor.” Clarke said frustrated. “There are only two options that could explain your actions.”

 

Lexa didn’t reply, clearly waiting for Clarke to continue.

 

“The first would be that you’re tolerating me. Like you’re okay with me and don’t mind when I reach out for you. Just without doing the same. As if you don’t want to hurt me and let me do whatever I want. It feels like I’m taking advantage of you, which I absolutely don’t want to do. Then again you’re always hugging me back. You also took my hand back in the cinema. But it’s always me who starts those things. Means that this conclusion is arguable, since you’re returning my actions. But that’s just it. A reaction. Nothing more.”

 

Lexa looked as if she wanted to argue right away, but didn’t said anything.

 

“Or you’re just shy.” Lexa blushed deeply, which Clarke took as a confirmation. “In that case I don’t mind,” Clarke grinned.

“I-”

“It’s okay Lexa. You’re not used to being close to others. I get it. You just have to tell me when to stop. I just want to make sure you know I never want to make you uncomfortable,” Clarke assured her. “I would never get mad or anything. My friends have literally zero limits. I just don’t know yours. So if I ever cross a line, make you uncomfortable or something… Just promise to tell me okay? I’ll stop right away.”

“You-,” Lexa begun unsure. “You haven’t made me uncomfortable.. If you did, I would’ve made it pretty clear.”

“But-?”

“But I don’t know how to act around you. I never meet anyone like you. No one comes  close. I just don’t know what I’m allowed to do and what not.”

“You can do anything you want. If I don't like something I promise to tell you too.”

“And then what? What if-”

“Stop right there Lexa. Some things are worth risking.”

 

Lexa went silent. She looked as if she was fighting her inner self. Clarke on the other hand, only smiled sweetly at Lexa. If time is what Lexa needed, then Clarke will be damned not to give her that. Sure, Clarke wasn’t known for being patient, but that’s what Lexa needed. Maybe she did have a chance and could get Lexa to like her too. _‘As friends. Of course. Nothing more!’_ Clarke added.

 

–

 

“Maybe you’re right,” Lexa said, and moved closer to Clarke. Slowly she rolled Clarke onto her back and placed herself on Clarke’s right side. Her head was resting on Clarke’s shoulder, while she had no idea where to place her hand. Would she act too clingy if she placed her hand around Clarke’s waist? Should she spread her arm somewhere on Clarke’s stomach? Her mind went berserk and her heart was beating way too fast. Not even a couple of deep breaths were helping. It was almost embarrassing how small things like this threw her out of the loop.

 

Clarke must have noticed Lexa’s despair and squeezed her hand softly. Then she placed both of their hands right under her breast. She gave Lexa a questioning looks, to ask if this was okay and smiled when Lexa snuggled even more into her side. Her other arm found its way around Lexa’s back, holding her tightly against herself.

 

Lexa was still battling her inner demons. While her body rested comfortably against Clarke’s, her heart was still on a rampage. There was no way Clarke didn’t notice it as well. Hell, Lexa could swear it was beating so loud, that everyone in the house could hear it loud.

 

She wondered if Clarke felt the same way. At least a little bit. Sure, Clarke had way more experience than she did. Maybe it gets better with time. Lexa really hoped so, because being this nervous all the time can’t be pleasing. The only thing Lexa did know was that this had nothing to do with normal friendship. She can’t remember ever feeling quite like this. Especially towards her other friends. Her heart is even beating faster, than the first time Cos/Costia told her he/she loved her. How do people calm down in situations like this? Is it supposed to feel this weird?

 

–

 

‘ _Gosh, how can someone be so damn cute? This girl is way too pure for her own good. Such a precious cinnamon roll!’_ Clarke thought, trying not to enjoy this too much. Not only could she feel Lexa fast heartbeat, she could hear it too. No one has ever reacted to her, as Lexa did. _‘Maybe she does feel something for me?’_ Clarke wondered. She remembers the first time she fell for a girl. It was a simple sleepover. Sadly the girl, Mia, never returned her feelings and only talked about some boy she had a crush on. It broke Clarke’s little heart, but she was happy she didn’t make a move on her. A month later she came home crying and walked wordlessly into her father's arms when she found out Mia was dating the boy she had a crush on. Even though it wasn’t a happy memory, she remembers how she felt when they lied next to each other for the first time. Clarke was extremely nervous and worried she was going to do something stupid while they were sleeping. It was terrifying, but exciting all the same.

 

Sadly, that never happened again. When she dated Finn it was never like that. There was no prickling or nervousness. They become friends and decided to date when Finn confessed his feelings. Clarke didn’t love him, but she didn’t want to be alone either. After her father died she needed the attention Finn offered her. She didn’t minded dating him. He did as he was told, wasn’t a complete disaster when it came to kissing, and the sex was okay. It could’ve been worse, as Clarke used to say.

 

In the end, she was happy it ended without having to break his heart. Which she still did, but it wasn’t her fault anymore. She tried to love him, but couldn’t. It still hurt being cheated on, though. Not giving up she tried again, and again, and again. Sadly nobody seemed to be able to make her heart beat like Mia did. Until now.

 

She thought all of this had to do with the death of her father. That the betrayal of her mother made her unable to love again. It got even worst after Finn’s cheating. But here she is, with someone she barely knows, someone who again isn’t gay and her heart beats like crazy.

 

This wasn’t supposed to happen. She had no time for a relationship. Sadly Clarke’s heart didn’t get the message. On the other hand Lexa seemed to have similar problems of her own. Maybe Clarke’s feelings weren’t  as unrequited as she originally thought.

 

Not a reason to rush things, though. Clarke already made that mistake a couple of times and regretted it. Who knows what Lexa wants anyway? All Clarke knows is that Lexa was the one who started cuddling this time. It was enough for Clarke. At least for now. Who knows? Maybe they will only become close friends and nothing more? Friends could cuddle after all. Nothing strange about it. They didn’t know each other well enough to expect anything else anyway. Whatever this was, was enjoyable nevertheless. Why not leave it like this? While Clarke thought Lexa deserved so much better, she wouldn’t object to let it become something more than friendship. Just not yet. Not that fast. In the end the choice will be Lexa’s alone. She wasn’t going to fuck everything up and hurt Lexa. Not to mention that she wouldn’t only fuck up things with Lexa. There’s still Raven and Octavia who’re dating Lexa’s siblings. She’d never endanger her friends happiness if she could help it. _‘Patience Clarke, patience.’_

 

–

 

Sleep didn’t come easy for either of them. They didn’t sleep more than a few hours until the alarm went off. To be precise Clarke’s alarm, which said person skillfully ignored. Lexa wasn’t so lucky, but had no intention to get up either. Not that she could even if she wanted. Somehow they must have moved while sleeping, because Lexa woke up laying on her side with Clarke tightly pressed against her back. Or more like Lexa was pressed against Clarke’s front, since Clarke clung onto her like a monkey. Not only did Clarke have her arms around her, but even their legs were intertwined. That wasn’t the only thing Lexa noticed, though. _‘Clarke really has a weakness for abs,’_ Lexa chuckled seeing that Clarke’s hand were under her shirt again. It surprised Lexa that she felt somehow insecure, but safe nevertheless. Again, a feeling Lexa could only describe as weird. Her heart was still beating faster than it should, but it didn’t feel unpleasant at all. She knew that she was attracted to Clarke. There was  no denying. A friend would never make her feel this way. That was for sure.

 

The only problem was that she had no idea what she should do about it. Attraction was one thing, being in love another. Somehow it was funny that Lexa’s only problem was that it was Clarke she was attracted to. Someone who didn’t want a relationship at all. While being with a girl didn’t bother Lexa as much as she thought it would, she had no intention of letting it be a friends with benefits thing. It may be what Clarke wanted, but Lexa knew that wouldn’t be something for her. Not like she wanted her first time to be a fling anyway.

 

Apart from that she knew that it couldn’t work, even if she was willing to try. Having feelings for someone, who didn’t return them, would only end badly. Of course she wasn’t sure what she really was feeling at that moment, since she never felt that way. Yet it was safe to say which direction this was going.

 

Lexa tried to get up carefully. She needed to get some fresh air, clear her thoughts and probably have a very long conversation with her sister. If anyone would be able to understand her, it would be Anya. Developing feelings for Raven must have been equally terrifying to what Lexa was feeling.

 

Sadly Clarke showed no signs of letting Lexa go anytime soon. Every single move ended with Clarke holding her even tighter. Lexa tried to wiggle out of Clarke’s embrace, until Clarke almost growled and let one of her hands wander higher, only stopping when she found something to hold onto.

 

“Stop moving stupid pillow. Pillows aren’t supposed to move,” Clarke mumbled displeased in her sleep. While Lexa found it cute that Clarke talked in her sleep, she couldn’t help but whine in response. She must have woke Clarke by flinching away from Clarke’s grip. Waking her up wasn’t what Lexa wanted, but how else should she react in a situation like this? Especially when it’s with someone she may have developed a tiny crush on. Unluckily for Lexa, Clarke only increased her grip which made Lexa yelp.

“Pillows don’t talk, stupid pillow.”

“Clarke…,” Lexa whined.

 

–

 

Clarke was grumpy. Not only did her pillow magically move and wake her up, no, now it was making strange noises as well. _‘Memo to myself. Get a new pillow. This one must be broken.’_ Without giving it a second thought she squeezed it tightly and tried to sleep again. Sadly her pillow had other things in mind.

“Clarke...” her pillow whined.

‘ _Okay, that’s fucking creepy,’_ Clarke thought. ‘ _Speaking pillows who know my name? What a weird dream.’_

“Clarke… please,” her pillow continued whining.

“What do you want pillow? I’m trying to sleep here,” Clarke growled. _‘This pillow really needs to know her place.’_

“I’m not your pillow, Clarke,” her maybe not pillow replied to Clarke’s confusion.

“What do you mean you’re not my-,” Clarke asked finally opening her eyes only to stare at brown hair. “FUCK.” She instantly let go of Lexa and tried to move away as fast as possible. Of course without caring about her surroundings. “OUCH!”

“Clarke?!? Are you okay?” Lexa asked, looking after Clarke who fell out of the bed.

“Fuck. Yeah,” Clarke cried out holding her head. _‘This will be one hell of a bump.’_

“Are you sure? I didn’t mean to scare you. I just-”

“Lex,” Clarke interrupted. “Please don’t tell me I did what I think I just did.”

“That depends on what you think you just did,” Lexa replied blushing.

“I-, Where were my hands exactly when I woke up?” Clarke asked looking up from the ground.

Lexa only swallowed and blushed even deeper.

“Shit! I swear I didn’t mean to. I-”

“I know, Clarke. It’s-, It’s okay,” Lexa assured her shyly.

“I-,” Clarke started, not knowing how to make this any better.

“Clarke,” Lexa interrupted. “Stop worrying. Things like this can happen. You were asleep. Don’t worry about it.”

“But-”

“Clarke. Really. It’s not like you wanted to,” Lexa tried to assure her again, still embarrassed.

“Believe me, you have no idea-,” Clarke barely stopped herself from continue saying ‘what kind of really bad things I want to do to you right now’.

“What?”

“No idea how much I need a coffee right now,” Clarke added saving herself. _‘Stupid fucking brain. Why can’t you work just once in the morning?’_

“Ah, right. Your coffee. I forgot.”

“No problem.” Clarke answered jerkily getting up. “I-, I should go now. You know, making my a coffee and yeah.”

“That’s, that’s probably for the best.”

“Yeah, I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.”

 

Clarke shyly walked towards the door. _‘Grow some balls, Clarke. What the hell is wrong with you. Why does Lexa make you so damn nervous? That’s so not like you.’_

After she took a deep breath to gather some confidence, she turned around and said, “and Lexa? You know I’m still sorry about it, but… I must admit you got some nice boobs there.”

Lexa blushed deeply watching Clarke smirking. Before Lexa was able to respond, Clarke was leaving  the room after she gave Lexa a playful wink.

 

‘ _Yep Griffin, you still got some game,’_ Clarke thought giving herself a mentally high-five.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it <3
> 
> As always: Thank you sooooo much for your comments!!!  
> You really keep me going!
> 
> And I hope you like the picuter <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke wakes up <3

When Clarke got downstairs she found Anya already planning things with who she believed was Roan. She wondered why Anya was willing to do this for some girl she didn’t even know. Especially after she told Clarke not to interfere with Nia. At least if she cares for her life.

 

“I hope it was okay to use your coffee maker,” Anya said when she noticed Clarke joining them. “This is Roan, Nia’s oldest son. Roan, this is Clarke.”

Roan turned around and faced Clarke smiling, “A pleasure to meet you.”

“Hands off, Roan. Clarke’s off limits,” Anya instantly warned him.

Roan looked at Anya and then back at Clarke confused, “Since when do you like girls? What did I miss in the last 3 months?”

“A lot. But while I must admit that I do like a girl, it isn’t Clarke,” Anya blushed slightly. “She actually belongs to Lexa.”

“I have no idea what’s more shocking. Seeing you blushing and talking about ‘feelings for someone’ or Lexa finally trying to date anyone,” Roan snickered.

“Shut up will you!”

“Everybody knows you love me Ahn,” Roan smirked. “Anyway. You're the one who helped Ontari, right? Anya told me what you and your mother did. I’m grateful for what you did for my little sister.”

“No problem,” Clarke replied unsure if she should bother to correct Anya about the ‘belong to Lexa part’. Deciding that it would only be nothing more than a waste of time she added, “Did you already talk about what we can do now? I mean obviously we can’t let her go back to Nia. She can stay here as long as she wants, but if Nia decides to call the police we have to let her go. We can’t hide her here forever.”

“That was actually what we needed to talk to you about. I’m sure Anya already told you how Nia can be, or what she can and would do. You see, I didn’t leave without a reason. She kicked me out when I heard some things I shouldn’t have. I’d already searched for a way to get away from her beforehand. Especially for Ontari. My mother did everything to make this girl’s life a living hell. I just never thought she’d go as far as beating her,” Roan said angry at himself. “When your mother told me about the old broken bones… I just don’t understand why Ontari never told me that, you know? I always thought she would waste all her anger on me and leave Ontari alone. That’s why I never did anything against it.”

 

Clarke listened to Roan and felt sorry for him and Ontari. She couldn’t imagine how it must be to grow up like that and not be able to do anything about it. “You know it’s not your fault right?”

“But it is! I’m her brother. I should’ve noticed it,” Roan stated. “But this will all end soon. I spent the last months finding proof about everything I accidentally heard. This woman will see nothing more than prison walls for the next few years. I’ll make sure of that. Actually I wanted to find an apartment before I got Ontari away from Nia. That’s why I’m so happy she can stay here. I always have somewhere to stay on my own, but not with a kid. All we have to do now is to get Ontari checked and wait for the police to do their work. I already gave them the files and your mother took Ontari and Aden to the hospital.”

“So all we need to do is wait?” Clarke asked to clarify. She really thought this would be harder, but is happy all the same.

“Seems like it,” Anya shrugged. “I just can’t believe this will be easy as that. Still have a bad feeling about it. We’re talking about Nia after all.”

“Normally I would agree, but the things I found out are pretty destroying,” Roan assured them. “Let just hope that Aden can convince Ontari to testify against Nia.”

“Oh she will. Aden spends too much time with Lexa. They have an endless pool of arguments. I swear. No fun at all,” Anya replied. “Speaking of my baby sis. Where is she anyway?”

“She’s still upstairs in my room,” Clarke mentioned without a second thought.

“So you already shared a bed, huh?” Anya smirked.

“Anya,” Lexa warned, finally joining them. “Leave Clarke alone. We didn’t do anything, except sleep.”

“Lovely as ever,” Roan chuckled. “Good to see you Lexa. You’ve grown.”

“Likewise,” Lexa brushed him off.

“You know you could smile from time to time. Wouldn’t hurt,” Roan huffed.

“I see no point in smiling when there’s nothing to smile about,” Lexa objected, slightly pissed off. It was easy to see they had some problems with each other.

“Urgh, you really haven’t changed a bit. I hoped you would after finding such a beautiful girlfriend.”

“Clarke’s not my girlfriend.”

“Huh? But Anya said-”

“Anya says a lot of things.”

“But you still thought I was talking about Clarke, and I didn’t even mention her. Anya can’t be that wrong.”

“I-”

If Clarke didn’t think that Lexa was utterly cute at that moment she would’ve saved her from Roan long ago. Just when Lexa looked at her all whiny, Clarke decided to help her at least a bit. “We’re not dating, Roan. Anya and my friends just want to play cupid with us.”

“Ah, okay. So I do have a chance?” Roan asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Sorry, but you’re not my type.” Clarke turned him down with an awkward smile.

“I’m not? To bad,” Roan chuckled. “So what’s your type? Maybe cute little law students without any fun in their life?”

“Who wouldn’t want to know, huh?” Clarke smirked at Lexa, who blushed deeply.

“Oh gosh. You two really are cute together. I have to say I’m with your friends. I’m so rooting for you two,” Roan gushed.

Clarke and Anya only chuckled, while Lexa still tried to get her normal skin color back.

 

They all got interrupted when Clarke’s phone started ringing. “Be right back.” Clarke excused herself and left the room, leaving Lexa, Anya and Roan alone.

 

“Sooooo, do tell Lex. How was your first night together? Did you cuddle?” Anya asked after some time.

“Yes Lexa. Did you?” Roan asked as well.

“I hate you both,” Lexa said, blushing again.

“Well, we all know that’s not true,” Anya said.

“Maybe when it comes to you, but I really do hate Roan,” Lexa clarified.

“You’re still mad? Someone really knows how to hold a grudge.” Roan rolled his eyes.

“I’m sorry? You almost killed me!” Lexa yelled.

“Yes, that’s it. Only almost,” Roan defended himself. “How could I know you're allergic to pineapple?”

“I told you not to use it!”

“Yes, but without a reason. I thought you just didn’t like the taste.”

“You still did it. It counts!”

“But-”

 

“Is everything alright?” Clarke asked coming back to find them arguing.

“Oh yeah. Just the usual ‘you tried to kill me’ argument,” Anya shrugged. Seeing that Clarke was confused by her words she added, “Roan once cooked for us. Lexa asked him not to use pineapple. He thought she just didn’t like the taste and used it anyway. Well, Lexa is highly allergic to pineapple and we spent quite some time in the hospital afterwards.”

“It was an accident!” Roan still defended himself.

“Your allergic to pineapple?” Clarke asked “Thank god!”

“Excuse me?” Lexa was confused.

“I finally found someone to share a pizza with! Raven and O always order ones with tons of pineapple. I don’t judge people who like it, but I really don’t. It’s been quite a while, since I last had a pizza without having to remove pineapple pieces first. Let me tell you, it still does taste like them...” Clarke said. “Wait, you do eat pizza, right?”

“Of course I do.”

“Good, because I feared you wouldn’t. You know, with all your healthy eating.”

“I may prefer to eat healthy, but I’m still human,” Lexa smiled at Clarke.

“SHE SMILED!!!” Roan yelled. “Anya! Did you see this! Lexa actually smiled at someone!”

“Calm down Roan. I know it’s scary, but she does smile at Clarke a lot.” Anya laughed making Lexa blush again.

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh as well. Lexa really was too cute for this world. “Anyway, my mother just called. Ontari is okay. Well as okay as she can be. My mother will bring her back in the afternoon. They already talked with the police and they’re okay with Ontari staying here until things with Nia are over.”

“Good, that’s good. I should get going. I still have an apartment to find. Bye guys,” Roan excused himself grinning brightly. “And Mrs. grumpy.”

“I should go as well. Raven is already waiting,” Anya interrupted Lexa before she could shout something bad at Roan in response. “She told me to make sure you stay with Lexa today. So no visits in the hospital for you. Have a great day you two.”

 

With Roan and Anya now gone they were alone again. Neither of them were saying anything nor moving for quite some time.

“So...” Lexa was surprisingly the first one to talk. “I know my sister and Raven told us to spend the day together, but I won't be offended if you want to be alone or something. I’m sure you have a lot of other things to do.”

“My only plan was to write with you all day,” Clarke admitted. “But if you have other-”

“I don’t,” Lexa interrupted her. “I mean…, I wanted to write with you as well...”

“Okay,” Clarke smiled. “Maybe we could watch a movie or something?”

“If you want, sure. But not a scary one please.”

“Why? I promise not to cling on you like in the cinema.”

“That’s-”

“I mean if you don’t want me to of course. I always love to cuddle.”

“I-, I don’t mind cuddling with you.”

“Good. Is hugging okay as well?”

Lexa nodded still blushing.

“Like right now?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re so cute right now and I want to.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, but opened her arms for Clarke anyway. Happy with Lexa’s response she almost knocked Lexa over, holding her tightly. Both of them couldn’t help but laugh when Lexa tripped over one of Clarke’s empty boxes, making them both fall to the ground. It slightly hurt, but neither wanted to let go of the other. They stayed there for quite some time, with Lexa slowly moving her hands up and down Clarke’s back. Clarke hummed in agreement, hiding her face in Lexa’s neck.

 

“Couldn’t you wait until you reached Clarke’s bed or something? Or do you both have a ‘sex on empty stinking pizza boxes’ fetish?” Octavia joked, startling them both.

Clarke quickly let go of Lexa and stood up, helping Lexa up as well. “What are you doing here, O?”

“Don’t be so grumpy Clarke. Sorry that I interrupt your bonding session, but I need Lexa,” Octavia said.

“You need me?” Lexa asked. “For what?”

“Lincoln won’t tell me when his birthday is! And I really need to know,” Octavia whined.

“Seriously, O? That couldn’t wait until tomorrow or something?” Clarke said. She was so comfortable with Lexa a minute ago.

“Then I would only interrupt you two another day. Wouldn't change anything,” Octavia defended herself. “But Clarke? You really need to clean this place. It’s a wonder  Lexa hasn’t run away already.”

“That’s not the poin-”

“Octavia is right. We do need to clean this place. Actually we should do that now before Ontari comes back with your mother,” Lexa interrupted Clarke.

“With-, with your mother? As in Clarke’s mother Abby? Mommy G comes here?” Octavia asked confused. When Lexa nodded Octavia looked more perplex than before. “But you two can’t stand each other. What the hell happened last night? And who’s Ontari?”

“That’s a long story,” Clarke shrugged. “No big deal, though. We didn’t kill each other so I guess it’s an improvement.”

“No big deal? You didn’t talked to her in months. Not like I don’t understand why, but...”

“It’s okay O. I needed her help and she came. That’s all that matters. We agreed on a truce. At least for now.”

“Wow. I mean that’s good to hear.” Octavia was dumbfounded. “So, uhm. Right. Lincoln’s birthday. When is it?”

“Why do I need to tell you that? If he doesn’t want to tell you, you should respect that,” Lexa pointed out.

“But-,”

“Not gonna happen,” Lexa stated starting to collect the empty boxes.

“Clarke! Do something. Your girlfriend is being mean!”

“First off all. She’s not my girlfriend and secondly she’s right. He will have his reasons,” Clarke replied helping Lexa clean.

“What the fuck? I’m your best friend. It’s your duty to help me!”

“I don’t have to do anything O. Especially not when it comes to this. You heard Lexa. Not gonna happen.”

Octavia grumbled something, but helped them cleaning anyway.

 

It took them almost an hour to clean just the living room and kitchen. For the most part they were collecting all the garbage Clarke and Raven had accumulated over the last couple of weeks.

“You really should clean more often Clarke,” Lexa raised an eyebrow while cleaning the countertop.

“I know, mother. I promise to do better,” Clarke bugged out.

Lexa rolled her eyes in response but smiled nevertheless.

“So what are you doing here, Lexa? Already on your second date?” Octavia teased.

“Actually I stayed the night.” Lexa brushed it off, still blushing at the memories.

“You-, wait. Really? Wow. Okay. I didn’t expect that.” 

“Not like that O! We just slept! My mother took Raven’s room, Anya the couch and Ontari was with Aden in the guestroom,” Clarke defended.

“Wait. You’re not telling me that Lexa was in your room, are you?” Octavia asked.

“Well, yeah. We slept in my bed, since there were no other options. No big deal.”

“NO BIG DEAL? I never took a damn step into your fucking room. Raven once did when you were ill and you literally kicked her out and threw a chair after her.”

“Stop overreacting. It’s just a room,” Clarke grumbled. “And it only happened like once.”

“But it’s your room!”

“God, O. Stop that. There is no harm in letting her stay in my room.”

“So I can go upstairs and go into your room as well? Just like that?”

“If that’s what you want.”

“Really? Or do you just say that because Lexa’s here and you’re gonna kill me afterwards?”

“I won’t  _ kill _ you, Octavia,” Clarke hinted.

“Stop that!”

“What?”

“Calling me by my name. That’s never been a good thing.” Clarke stared at her in response. “Okay, okay. I will not enter your room. Like ever. Got it. Of limits. At least for everyone except Lexa.”

 

Meanwhile Lexa stood beside them wondering why this was such a big deal. Sure, Clarke’s room was full of drawings and all, but they were mostly of her friends anyway. Why is nobody allowed in Clarke’s room while she is?

 

“Lex?” Clarke asked waving her hands in front of Lexa’s eyes. “You’re okay there?”

“Huh? Yeah. Sorry. I was just thinking.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m perfectly fine, Clarke.”

Clarke gave her one last skeptical look before looking back at Octavia.

Octavia only smiled at them. It’s been a long time since Clarke cared about someone like that. If she ever acted around someone like she does with Lexa at all. “You know I’m happy for you two. While I still think you would be the perfect couple, I’m happy that you’re at least friends now. From what Lincoln told me you both are good for each other. No matter in what kind of relationship. I still hope for some Clexa babies, though.”

 

“Clexa?” Lexa and Clarke asked, both blushing about what Octavia just told them.

“Oh yeah. Your couple name. Clarke and Lexa. Clexa. Got it? Raven and Anya are Ranya and me and Lincoln are Linctavia. Don’t tell me you never gave couples shipping names?”

“Uhm, no,” Clarke answered while Lexa shook her head.

“But-, you know what. Never mind. You won’t get it,” Octavia grumbled. “I better get going. My shift starts in 30 minutes.”

“You’re doing extra shifts again?”

“Gotta get money. Things don’t pay for themselves and I still have to find a new place to stay. Especially with Lincoln now. You know how protective Bell can be.”

“You know you can always stay here. We wouldn’t mind.”

“As tempting as it sounds, I don’t think the 3 Wood siblings want to hear each other screwing each others lover.”

“Uhh-,” Clarke blushed at the thought, while Lexa is in an even worst stage.

“What’s wrong with you Clarke? You normally have zero problems talking about sex. Is it because of Lexa? I can’t blame you. She’s way hotter than any of your ex-boyfriends. Or is it because you’ve never fully done it with a girl before?” Octavia teased.

“Shut up, O. Not funny,” Clarke growled.

“Or you’re sexually frustrated. I mean the last sexual experience you had was months ago when Raven and I found you dry humping that Niylah girl like a rabbit,” Octavia joked.

“OCTAVIA! Stop that! Gosh, this is so embarrassing,” Clarke whined bright red. “I don’t want to think about that again. I still have no idea how the hell that happened. And I really don’t want to know.”

“Chill, Griffin. You had too much to drink. Nothing happened.”

“I still don’t want to think about that again.”

“That bad? Or that good?” Octavia smirked.

“What do you want to hear, O? Yes, it felt amazing. Yes, we would’ve probably gone further if you hadn’t interrupted us. I’m just happy you did. Fucking some random stranger in a stinky bathroom at a party isn’t something I look forward to.”

“I wouldn’t mind. I mean it’s not like she wasn’t hot. Raven and I’ve done worse. ” Octavia shrugged and turned towards Lexa. “What about you, Lexa?”

 

It took Lexa off guard to be questioned like this. First she had to listen to Octavia saying that she, Lexa, is hotter than any of Clarke’s ex-boyfriends. That alone was enough to make her brain stop working. Being told that she was hot was something she wasn’t used to at all. But hearing Octavia talk about some girl she saw making out with Clarke… That was a bit too much for Lexa’s poor innocent mind. Especially when she started imagining her being that girl with Clarke on top of her.

 

Octavia was still patiently waiting for an answer, while Lexa tried really hard to control her her thoughts. Lexa was sure her face was already red like a cherry just judging by her body heat.

 

“Leave her alone, O. I wouldn’t want to talk about my sex life with someone I barely know as well,” Clarke defended Lexa for what said person was grateful. How would she respond to that anyway? There’s no way she can tell them she’s a virgin now. Both of them were already so experienced. They would either laugh about her or pity her. Nothing she wanted them to do.

“Nah, she’s just too innocent for it. I mean look at her. She looks like a virgin who’s just heard about sex for the first time,” Octavia chuckled at a now even redder Lexa.  _ ’If you only knew…’ _

“I don’t see how that’s such a bad thing,” Clarke pointed out.

“Come on Clarke. You can’t tell me she is as innocent as she seems to be. We’re not ten anymore. I’m sure she has one or two stories to tell. Maybe playing the mysterious silent type is her way to get into someone's pants. Who knows? Still waters run deep and all that you know.”

“That’s just how she is. There’s nothing wrong with it,” Clarke stated almost angrily.

“Gosh Clarke. There no need to get angry. I’m only joking,” Octavia held up her hands in surrender. “Keep that going and you’ll be just as bad as Bell when it comes to me. Shit, I have to go!” Octavia said leaving the home after saying bye to both girls.

 

Meanwhile Lexa was still trying to get her thoughts sorted. She didn’t take Octavia’s jokes too serious, actually she wasn’t really listening at all. Of course she noticed Octavia trying to get some kind of reaction from her. Lexa was sure Lincoln already told Octavia something about her. She just wasn’t sure what. Maybe Octavia asked Lincoln about her former lovers or something. It was only natural for people to look out for their friends. Anya probably already did the same with Clarke anyway. The only problem was Lincoln couldn’t tell Octavia much about her lovers, since there were none except Costia. If at all, that is.

 

“I’m sorry, Lex. It really is her way of joking, even though it makes most people uncomfortable. Not the best character trait I know,” Clarke tried to explain. “She’s still a very good friend. I swear.”

“It’s-, it’s okay. No harm done. I was mostly just lost in thoughts anyway. Don’t worry,” Lexa answered. While Octavia wasn’t that funny, Lexa didn’t want them to fight because of her.

Clarke didn’t seem to buy it and looked at her skeptically. “You’re sure?”

“Yes,” Lexa confirmed with a smile. She knows that Clarke would believe her no matter what, but a smile always seemed to help her. At least with Clarke.

Clarke was about to say something, but was interrupted by a loud stomach growling. “I, uh-”

“Looks like someone's hungry,” Lexa chuckled.” Do you got eggs or something? I could make us some very late but much needed breakfast,” Lexa suggest feeling hungry as well.

“You don’t have to Lexa. We could always go out and eat something there,” Clarke answered holding her stomach.

“I really don’t mind, Clarke. You know I like cooking,” Lexa said as a matter of fact. It was true that she loved to cook and used every chance to do just that. Since her siblings moved out and her parents are mostly away she sadly had zero reasons to do so anymore. Of course she cooked for herself, but it was way less fun.

 

“I know, but you still don’t have to. Not like I’ve died yet. Could be worse,” Clarke joked but instantly got talked down by Lexa’s glare. “Or it already is. Okay. We have nothing eatable here, though. There’s no way around it. Let’s just go out and eat there.”

“Or we could go grocery shopping and make something our self,” Lexa smirked knowing that Clarke had zero desire to make something herself.

“Come on Lex. A beautiful girl just asked you out on a date and you turn me down like this. That hurts,” Clarke whined trying to win her over.

“A date? Don’t you think it’s way more romantic to cook something together? I just made your date better,” Lexa fought back still smirking.

“No, you would turn my date into yours, since I can’t cook for shit.”

“As long as it’s something easy, I’m sure not even you can destroy it.”

“Noodles are simple, Lexa.”

“Apparently they’re not.”

“Haha.”

“Sorry, couldn’t help it.”

“Nah, at least you're comfortable around me. I was kinda worried with how silent you turn when someone else is around. Except Anya.”

“Worried? Why?”

“Because I laughed when Anya told me that you act strange around me. I mean you told me yourself that you’re not an open person. I just never thought about it that much, since you're acting just fine around me. Maybe a bit shy at the cinema, but that’s it.”

“I’m just not the most talkative person.”

“But you are with me.”

“Well, you’re special. In many ways.”

“Why does that sound like an insult?”

“It’s not. I mean it in the best way possible.”

“Best way possible, huh?” Clarke laughed.

“Yep. Now let’s go. Our grocery shopping date waits.”

“Can’t wait for it, but will it be a successful one?” Clarke teased thinking back at when Lexa told her that a date isn’t successful without a kiss. Lexa blushed knowing instantly what Clarke was hinting at. As if she could ever forget what happened the night before. “Come mon nerd,” Clarke chuckled and reached for Lexa’s hand and lead them outside.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me so long again...  
> I almost finsihed the chapter way before, but it was soooooo full of drama and angst.. and.. what ever  
> It totally didn't fit my story so i rewrote it 
> 
> Now it get's back into the original storyline <3  
> Hope you like it
> 
> And sorry again.. I thought I get to finish it sooner, but Zelda happened.. I'm sorry... I played 90+ hours already and can't stop xD
> 
> \---
> 
> A lot of people ask for the pictures and who does them.  
> Simply answere: They are all from me.   
> Actually I never thought of myselfs as a "writer" and always thought I really suck at it xD  
> Funny that you all seem to like my story quite well   
> Never thought it 
> 
> Anyway  
> So you can find more from me on Instagram and Tumblr. If you want of course.   
> Insta: https://www.instagram.com/jazzii_art_clexa_artist/  
> Tumblr: http://jazziiart.tumblr.com/
> 
> Yes I draw smut and yes this story will have smut as well ! xD


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia meeting Aden and Ontari

“Ohhkkayyy…,” Octavia started, clearly confused at the scene she just witnessed. “What the hell happened?”

“Uh…,” Clarke didn’t know how to answer. To be honest she had no idea either. All she knew is that she would’ve been alone for a few days until Raven’s return. Now, however, she’s sharing her home with two kids and someone she only just met, but already cares about them more than she probably should. “Apparently Aden-,” the blonde started but got interrupted right away. 

“Who’s Aden?”

“He-, uh, Lexa’s brother? Of some sorts?” Clarke didn’t know how else to explain their relationship. “They grew up together. Got adopted by different parents, though.”

Octavia looked confused but let her continue anyways. “Okay, go ahead.”

“Okay. Aden rejected the idea of leaving Ontari alone until she’s fully healed-“

"Healed? Why is she hurt? Did you have something to do with it? And who's Ontari anyway? I thought she wasn't important? That's at least what you told me the last time I asked you about her." Octavia grows more and more confused. Not like Clarke could blame her. When Octavia came to visit Clarke, she probably expected everything but not Aden, Ontari, Lexa, and Clarke's mother with a bag full of clothes. "Uh… this is really hard to explain since I don't fully understand myself," Clarke admitted. 

“Clarke… you shouldn’t stick your nose in everyone’s business…”

“I know, I know… but this is different. She’s the reason I’m talking with my mother again. She really needed help.”

“So… this Ontari problem is actually Abby’s?”

“No. It’s Aden’s. Thereby Lexa’s. And now mine.”

Octavia tried to understand but failed to connect all this information. "Okay, I'm lost."

"Ontari is adopted as well and was abused by her mother. Badly," Clarke explained. "Aden saved her and refused to let her go back to her mother after the last attack. Then he called Lexa for help because he didn't know what to do.”

“And you, as always, offered to help as well,” Octavia sighed. 

"Of course, I did. You would as well if you’d seen her that day. She could barely stay awake."

“Okay, and what did you do? I mean couldn’t you just call the police? The hospital? Why did you end up calling Abby?”

“It’s not that easy. Let’s just say we couldn’t just bring her to the hospital, without fearing that her mother would get her back. That’s why I called my mother. But it’s all fine now. We got it sorted.”

Octavia wasn’t convinced. “I can see that.” 

“What do you mean?”

"Well, the ‘solved problem' is still sleeping in your guestroom."

“She has nobody except her brother.”

“And where is her all too kind brother?” Octavia asked sarcastically. “Seriously, if he’s better than his mother, he should’ve been the one saving her and not her cute little boyfriend.”

“He’s looking for an apartment…”

“Clarke. Really? If her mother is abusing her, he should’ve noticed it sooner. Before this girl needs medical treatment like this. It’s his responsibility to protect her. Which he clearly did poorly.”

“His mother kicked him out…”

"And? He could've taken her with him."

“It’s not that easy…”

“It’s not? I remember Bellamy doing that just fine.”

“That was a different situation. You can’t compare them.”

“Oh, I can. But back to the main topic. I get now why Ontari is here,” Octavia rubbed her forehead. “And I obviously get why Aden is here. I would’ve done the same for my lover.” Octavia started smirking. “But why is Lexa moving in with you?”

Clarke instantly blushed and objected, “What? She’s not moving in with me.”

“You just told her to move her stuff upstairs,” Octavia pointed out. “Into your room.”

“Well, Aden’s parents wouldn’t let him stay with a stranger.”

"Okay, let's me put all this information together. Your house is full of people you don't really know, because of a girl you never met before."

Clarke thought about objecting again since Octavia let it sound as a bad thing, but the blonde knows her friend is right anyways. "Yeah…"

“Clarke…,” Octavia whined. “Why are you always like this?”

“I’m just trying to help.”

“I know, Clarke. And I know you’re one of the most selfless people on this forsaken planet, but…”

 

“She’s right, Clarke,” Lexa cut in, just coming back from Clarke’s room. “You don’t have to do all this.”

“At least I’m not the only person stuck here,” Clarke smiled and patted the spot next to her on the couch. 

Lexa sat down just as Clarke desired. This time without keeping more distance than needed. “No, but you end up babysitting two kids, while I’m sure you would’ve had better things to do.”

“Three kids,” Clarke chuckled. 

“Huh?” Lexa smirked. “Is Octavia staying with us as well?”

“Haha,” Octavia grumbled. “So funny. But nice to see that you can be less grumpy.”

“I wasn’t that bad,” Lexa defended herself. Octavia, however, only gave her a pointed look which said everything. “Hey, I tried to be nice…”

"Yeah, I saw that," Octavia teased. "It's okay, though. I would've been worse if I was in a similar situation with Lincoln. But no, I originally planned to stay here, since I thought Clarke would be lonely without Raven, but I don't think I can beat your presence, Lexa."

“Oh O… you know I love you,” Clarke hugged her best friend. 

“Hopefully not the same way as other present people,” Octavia chuckled. “But don’t worry. Since Lexa is moving into your room and her parents are on a vacation, her home is completely empty. Which means it’s very available for Lincoln and me.”

Clarke’s eyes went wide and if didn’t even took her a second to cover her ears. “Whoooaahhhh, stop right there. I don’t wanna know.”

“What do you want to do there? Does Lincoln’s roommate not like you?” Lexa asked confused at Clarke’s reaction. 

“Huh? He does. But I’m a screamer,” Octavia spoke louder to make sure Clarke could still hear her. 

“Screamer?” Lexa turned towards Clarke, still confused. 

“Lexa… Please… Don’t ask,” Clarke whined not wanting Octavia to explain further details. 

“But I don’t understand-,”

“AHHHHH, LINCOLLLNNNN,” Octavia started screaming. “AHHHH, SOOO GOOOODDDDD-“

Clarke jumped onto Octavia, holding both her hands in front of her friend’s mouth. “O! What the fuck. There are two kids next door!”

Lexa on the other side was speechless. That must’ve been what Anya meant when she told her about being ‘too good for the world’. She better learn how to think just as suggestive as Clarke and Octavia quickly. Maybe she’ll learn to read situations before she has to witness embarrassing things like this again. 

“Sorry, I forgot the kids,” Octavia still couldn’t stop laughing, followed by Clarke who couldn’t stop either when she saw Lexa’s bright red face.  Lexa, however, felt quite awkward. “Come on, Lexa. It wasn’t my intention to make fun of you,” Octavia chuckled. “I love teasing Clarke.”

Lexa still felt embarrassed but knew Octavia wasn't intentionally mean to her. "It's okay. I may need to stop asking whenever Clarke tries to stop me, though."

“Probably,” Clarke chuckled. 

“No fun,” Octavia pouted. “Clarke is nothing better than I am. She has the same wrecked mind as me.”

“But I know how to hold back,” Clarke objected. 

“Sometimes…,” Lexa responded. 

“Uh huh, tell me more Lexa,” Octavia was thrilled to know more. 

“Don’t you dare,” Clarke cut in. 

Lexa couldn’t help chuckling slightly. Of course, she wouldn’t do that. 

 

“Clarke?” Aden asked, just coming outside the guest room. “Oh hey, I’m Aden.” The boy walked towards Octavia holding out his hand. “Pleasure to meet you.”

Octavia smiled at him and shook his hand. "Hello, handsome young man. I'm Octavia. Clarke's best friend."

Aden smiled at Octavia, but quickly remembered why he left Ontari all along. “Ontari says her headache is getting worse. Would you mind taking a look?”

“Of course not, “Clarke stood up turning towards Octavia, “don’t make her do things she’ll regret later.”

“Like what?” Octavia teased. 

“Like making her spill details she shouldn’t.” Clarke turned towards Lexa. “Or she’ll be sleeping on the couch.”

Octavia instantly started laughing. “Not even together and already threatened to get kicked out of the bed.”

Clarke ignored Octavia and still looked Lexa deeply in the eyes. “Got it?”

“Loud and clear, though the couch doesn’t seem so bad. It may be worth it anyway,” Lexa shrugged getting way more comfortable and bolder talking to Clarke. 

“Way to get turned down, Griffin,” Octavia snickered. 

“Shut up,” Clarke huffed. “I don’t want this blanket-thief anyway.”

“Woah woah woah, wait. Stop right there. Did you sleep under the same blanket? Together?" Octavia's eyes went wide. 

“I-, I should see after Ontari,” Clarke quickly excused herself, followed by a smirking Aden. 

“You got more game than I care to admit sis,” Aden couldn’t help teasing before going back into Ontari’s room. 

 

Lexa went bright red again, remembering what happened in the morning. 

“Spill the beans, Lexa. What else did happen between you two?” Octavia wanted to know. 

“Uhh… nothing?”

“Lexa…”

“I-, we only slept. Nothing more.”

“Back to back?”

“What?”

“Were you facing each other? Or facing the wall?” Octavia tried, but Lexa didn’t react to any of it. “Did one of you hold the other?” This indeed got a reaction out of Lexa, since she nervously started pulling at her shirt. “Omg, I knew it! It did happen something! Who held who?” 

  
  
_ ‘Why did you leave me alone with her,' _ Lexa whined internally. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I didn't upload for soo long...  
> got a new job.. moved into a new town...  
> lots of stuff 
> 
> I'm trying to do better
> 
> Got no time for a new picture...  
> hope you can forgive me Q_Q


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke's and Lexa's "date".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys... of course you'll get to see their grocery shopping date.   
> Hope'll enjoy the pure fluff Clexa Chapter <3

It didn’t take long for Lexa to regret offering to cook herself. Well, the cooking itself wasn’t the problem, but shopping for ingredients with Clarke is something Lexa will never look forward to again. 

On the other side, Lexa did learn some new things about Clarke. For example, Clarke has a thousand things on her mind at once. Which obviously is the exact opposite of Lexa.  While Clarke kept wandering around in the mall always finding new stuff, forgetting the things she actually came to buy, Lexa could only mentally cry. 

Lexa doesn’t even go out shopping without writing a list. Of course sorted in sections of the mall to prevent running around the mall a thousand times. A habit Clarke found entirely stupid. Saying the best things in life happen unexpectedly. 

That, however, is something Lexa can’t disagree with since her friendship with Clarke was indeed unexpected. Still, the brunet still doesn’t understand how that all applies to shopping for ingredients. 

 

“Unicorn Froot Loops?” Lexa whined. “Why do you need this crap?”

“What do you mean?” Clarke argued. “It has unicorns on it! How can you not need this?”

“Yeah, on its package. All they changed is the color of the cereal. Nothing more.”

“But-“

“Clarke, I thought we wanted to eat pancakes? That’s why we’re here after all. To buy ingredients for them. Not new socks, not pencils, and definitely not this,” Lexa took the Unicorn Froot Loop package. 

“Yes, but that was all before this existed,” Clarke pointed out. “And I did need new socks! It’s not getting warmer.”

“Are you for real? This is literally colored sugar. You need to eat actual healthy food.”

“No, I don’t!”

“Yes, you do!”

  
  


“Awwwww, look at them, honey. Such a sweet couple,” an older woman talked to her husband. “They’re just like we used to be.”

The men turned around to look at Lexa and Clarke who are now both blushing deeply. “What are you talking about. We’re still like them,” he said kissing his wife. “I even love you more than back then. Every day a little bit more.”

“Just a little bit?”

“Oh dear, you really never get enough, do you?” her husband teased.

“Of your love? Never?”

Her husband chuckled in return. “Let’s stop embarrassing them, my dear. Look how red they are already. Such sweet young love.”

“Awww, but they’re so cute,” the wife gushed. 

“Still, let’s give them some privacy,” the men took his wife’s hand. “Have great day girls.” The older couple gave them one last loving look, before walking away. 

 

Clarke was still bright red but smiled at the older couple nevertheless. Lexa on the other side tried to hide her embarrassment behind the Froot Loops package. This, however, only made it sweeter. 

“Hey,” Clarke poked Lexa’s shoulder. “They went away. You can stop hiding,” the blonde teased.

“Nope, I’m gonna stay here forever.”

Clarke couldn’t help laughing at Lexa’s childish behavior, “no need to be embarrassed. You have to admit, we kind of acted like a couple.”

Lexa slowly lowered the package to look at Clarke. “We did?”

“Yeah, couple’s fight over stupid things like this. Well, they’re supposed to.”

“You didn’t?”

“Well, no. Not really. I never really fought with Finn. At least not while being together,” Clarke shrugged. “He was my first real relationship and I didn’t date anyone else afterward. So no, I guess I never had this experience.”

“But I thought-,” Lexa stopped herself before she ended the sentence. 

Clarke, however, wanted to know what was on Lexa’s mind. “You thought?”

“I-,” Lexa started. “Please don’t get mad or something. You don’t have to answer or anything.”

“Just ask Lexa.”

“Well, when Octavia talked about Niylah… I thought…”

“I barely knew Niylah back then and I was way too embarrassed afterward to ever approach her again. Yeah, we made out, but we never dated or anything.”

“Oh,” Lexa replied uneasily. “But do you, I don’t know, want to give it a try?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, when you would meet her again. Would you want to try dating her?”

“No,” Clarke stated. “I wouldn’t. Sure, she’s attractive and all, and yeah, she’s fucking good at kissing and... stuff… But… I don’t know. She doesn’t make my heart race. It’s comfortable, but not… I dunno… not exciting enough?”

“Oh, okay.”

“It was the same with Finn. If he wouldn’t have cheated on me, it would’ve ended with me breaking his heart,” Clarke explained. “I think I want the whole falling in love at first sight kind of thing. Well not love, but I want to meet a person and just think ‘Wow’, you know?”

Lexa nodded, “did that ever happen to you?”

“Twice,” Clarke smiled. “Sadly, the first time didn’t go well. Falling in love with my best friend, finding out she isn’t gay… and yeah. Nothing I need to experience again.”

“What about the second?” Lexa wanted to know. 

“That I still need to figure out,” Clarke smiled sweetly at Lexa. Lexa, however, looked at her confused, not getting where Clarke was hinting at. “Come on, Nerd. We need to hurry up, or my mom and the kids will arrive without us being there,” Clarke said, taking the Froot Loops in her left hand and reached with the right for Lexa’s hand. The brunette blushed as always but held on tightly nevertheless.

 

\--- 

 

They were already on their way back home when Clarke’s phone started ringing. 

“Hey, mom. Yeah. We’ll be right there. Bye.” Clarke ended the call and turned towards Lexa. “My mother is on her way. We should hurry up.”

“Okay,” Lexa smiled increasing her speed.

“Hey,” Clarke whined. “I said, hurry up, not start running.”

“I’m still walking, Clarke,” Lexa smirked. “And if you would stop eating unhealthy crap like that unicorn garbage, you wouldn’t have any problem catching up.”

“Haha,” the blonde grumbled, but tried to walk a bit faster. 

Still not able to catch up completely Clarke held onto Lexa's hand tighter and pulled her back towards her. Lexa, surprised by Clarke actions, didn’t have enough time to keep her balance and practically fell straight into Clarke’s arms. Not knowing what had happened, she still tried to regain balance and didn’t notice Clarke’s head moving closer to hers. That was until the brunette felt soft lips kissing her right cheek, which, obviously, made the brunette stop every action right there. 

Before Lexa had time to process what just happened, Clarke was already walking again, leaving a completely stunned Lexa behind. “Look, who’s not catching up right now, oh so healthy Lexa.”  

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The picture is colored by my great friend Selene <3 *hugs and love*  
> The lines are from me <3
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like it so far :D  
> I'm sorry for grammar or spelling mistakes. Since I'm german it's kinda hard to write english.  
> Still to much fun to not do it though <3
> 
> Give my amazing beta-reader some love: monique1397


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